16 Dos and Don'ts at a Tea Party
This article is dedicated to my pets and my very first Neofriend, crystalsnowfairy.
Say you're at your Neofriend's pet's tea party. You take a sip of your tea, then almost spit it out in embarrassment when your pet burps, shrugs, then continues consuming troubling amounts of cake in its mouth. Your pet ignores the stares of disgust from the other pets. Embarrassing, much! There's just one thing I have to say: Teach that pet some manners! This guide will help you (and your pet) survive a tea party without another embarrassing moment again! And here to help me, jenlin_25, are my four pets: Dandelion the Yellow Wocky, Fyora the Yellow Usul, Maraqua the Christmas Kacheek, and Sunshine the Yellow Acara!
1. If you get to the tea party early, sit down and wait. Don't, I repeat, don't start shoveling food into your mouth!
Dandelion: That's right, everyone. It's not worth the embarrassment, trust me.
Fyora: Now that's one I'll have to work on...
Maraqua: If you have to, bring a short piece of rope along with you. Ask your owner to tie your paws, that is, if you have paws, behind your back so you won't be tempted. *shrugs* Works for me!
Sunshine: *puts paws on hips* Why do I ALWAYS have to be the last one to say something? Well, I WAS gonna say something... but you can forget about that now!
2. Dress to impress! If you find that it's hard to keep away that stinky stench, put on some deodorant!
Dandelion: *giggles nervously* That NEVER happens to me...
Fyora: Whatever! I don't even have a choice! *pulls open closet door to reveal millions of yellow bowties*
Maraqua: This section goes ESPECIALLY for Grarrls and Skeiths!
Sunshine: Remember, girls, avoid stains such as mustard and ketchup. In the end, this little tip will prove to be a life-saver!
3. When seated, don't play 'sword battle' with the eating utensils!
Dandelion: Ugh... I don't do that anymore. Can we move on?!?
Fyora: *winks* Don't mind what jenlin says. It's really fun!
Maraqua: Hey, if you can't help it, play UNDER the table!
Sunshine: I'm agreeing with Dandelion on this one...
4. When the other guests start to arrive, it's important to say hello. But don't be too chatty, though.
Dandelion: *busy talking to Sunshine* And then Illusen was like, 'Hurry up and get me that item!', and I was like, 'No way!'...
Fyora: A simple 'hello' will do. And don't forget to move over to leave space for the other guests to sit!
Maraqua: It's impolite to put your feet on the chair next to you, too. Your turn, Sunshine!
Sunshine: Can't you see I'm talking here?!?
5. Once all the guests are seated, the host (or hostess) will most likely do a little speech to announce that the party has started. Even if the speech rates a 10 on the Snooze-Scale, try not to fall asleep!
Dandelion: Quite embarrassing indeed, jenlin! Try to cover up your yawns, it'll help the hostess and/or host think that you're awake!
Fyora: If you just can't help yourself with falling asleep, the least you can do is to make sure not to drench your neighbors with drool!
Maraqua: Pinch yourself every thirty seconds. It's a handy tool, really! Uhh... Sunshine, are you awake?
Sunshine: *snores* ...
6. Time for the appetizers! If the appetizers are served on a tray, make sure to eat your share... and not everybody else's!
Dandelion: Hint: If you're sitting next to a Grarrl or Skeith, stuff some appetizers in your mouth for extra luggage to put on your plate!
Fyora: I thought that was considered rude or something...
Maraqua: Hey, do you want YOUR share of appetizers eaten by a Grarrl?
Sunshine: If the appetizers are little triangle sandwiches, it's important to remember that you're not supposed to eat the toothpick on top!
7. Tea... sip, don't slurp!
Dandelion: Point taken! The other guests give you weird looks when you slurp.
Fyora: *gasps* Usuls are an exception to that... right?
Maraqua: Fan your tea lightly if it's still kinda hot... no one likes to sip hot tea! Just remember, don't do it hard or you'll send tea flying everywhere!
Sunshine: This is a VERY crucial tip! If you can't remember this, then scribble it on your paw with permanent pen!
8. Try your best to chat with the other guests. Basically what I'm trying to say is: Don't sit there like a stone!
Dandelion: Even if you're shy at times. You're gonna have to talk SOMETIME, you know.
Fyora: Try starting a conversation about the weather or something. Or you could take my approach. I usually just fling a piece of the appetizer at my neighbor for them to notice me! ... But if your neighbor's a Skeith, don't try this.
Maraqua: Making a conversation can be easy if you know the person sitting next to you. You'll be chatting away in no time!
Sunshine: Simply saying hello to the person next to you can even start a conversation... or maybe it won't.
9. Only take one pastry of each kind. You're not the only guest at the table!
Dandelion: But what if you're always the most important guest? Like me!
Fyora: I usually sneak a second and third under the table!
Maraqua: Totally true, jenlin. There's lots of other pastries to choose from, and if one in particular is your favorite, you can always stop by the Bakery and buy another one!
Sunshine: Hmm... I don't really like this rule.
10. Be careful when eating cake that's fully loaded with icing. It could drip on your new tea party outfit!
Dandelion: This is one of the trickiest rules! Seriously, what would the other guests think of you when you try to squeeze a whole slice of Iced Borovan Cake in your mouth?
Fyora: I truly don't understand this one. I mean, if you didn't have a washing machine, I'd understand...
Maraqua: Watch out when eating a Faerie Fondant, too! That stuff is hard to get out of your clothes.
Sunshine: Ooh, so true...
11. Use your utensils when cutting up a slice of cake or a pastry. They aren't there just for show!
Dandelion: Not sure how to use one of your utensils? Casually glance around at the other guests and see how they're doing it. I've done this a billion times!
Fyora: But using utensils would ruin the fun of licking the icing off of your paws...
Maraqua: Utensils come in handy when you have a slice of cake that's too big to squish into your mouth. Just don't stab the other guests with your fork, okay?
Sunshine: Picking up cake with your paws is a definite no-no. Avoid this at all times!
12. When you're finished eating, dab around your mouth with a napkin. Gotta catch those extra pastry crumbs!
Dandelion: Keep this in mind! Nothing is as gross as talking to someone with lots of crumbs around their mouth. *shudders*
Fyora: Do I have to? The host folded the napkin into the shape of a Lenny...
Maraqua: Remember, dab lightly! If you dab hard, the crumbs won't collect in your napkin.
Sunshine: But what if your neighbor steals your napkin, thinking its theirs? And your neighbor's a... *gulp* Skeith?
13. Finished eating? Wait patiently for the other guests to finish. Some people like to chew their food carefully.
Dandelion: *nods in agreement* I once knew this Nimmo at school, and she always did the same thing at lunch! Bite, chew twenty-four times, swallow, start all over again. It took FOREVER for her to finish her lunch!
Fyora: I usually bring a scratch pad to the party, and Maraqua and I play tic-tac-toe while we're waiting. Bring a Light Faerie Pen, though, because if your pencil lead breaks...
Maraqua: If you get bored while waiting, why not chat with the other guests? Like explained on rule 8, it's not that hard to start a conversation. Tell them that joke you've been practicing for King Hagan!
Sunshine: Don't be surprised. It can take over an hour just for some guests to finish their slice of cake!
14. If you accidentally burp, say 'Excuse me' afterwards.
Dandelion: Once again, this never happened to me...
Fyora: *scoffs* I never burp at tea parties! It's not like the hostess (or host) serves soda or anything! Soda's my weakness...
Maraqua: If one of the other guests burp and don't say 'Excuse me', don't push it in their face or announce it to the rest of the guests. That person was probably embarrassed and thought no one had heard.
Sunshine: *slurps soda* Burp! 'Scuse me!
15. After the tea party, the host (or hostess) might bring out their stereo so everyone can dance. Don't start flinging your arms and legs out wildly! There are other people dancing too, so mind your manners.
Dandelion: True, true, and true. You might hurt someone with your... *cough* weird *cough* way of dancing.
Fyora: If you've taken ballet classes before and want to show off some of your moves, don't! You just ate, remember?
Maraqua: If you spot someone that can't dance, don't laugh at them. They're trying their best! Who knows? Maybe someone thinks that YOU can't dance...
Sunshine: If the hostess (or host) puts in the Draik Disco CD, I'm so outta there!
16. When leaving the tea party, remember to always say thank you to the person who planned the whole event.
Dandelion: Yeah, yeah, yeah... are we done yet?
Fyora: Always say thank you, even if you didn't enjoy the tea party. I always practice my thank yous in front of the mirror. Now, when I fake a thank you, you can hardly even tell the difference!
Maraqua: Why do I always have to say the stuff that seems helpful? I'm tired of this! This is the last question, right?
Sunshine: *yawns* Is it lunch time yet?
Well, I hope we were helpful! ... We weren't? Well, I never! Hmph!
*No Grarrls and/or Skeiths were hurt in the making of this article*