The Snow Beast Revealed

Not much is known about this beast. Many have claimed to have seen it in Happy Valley, but there is no proof. Except for some screenies. o.o Still, the evidence isn’t solid. I, being an aspiring young reporter, have decided to track this beastie down. He can’t be that scary, can he?

After two days of wandering in Happy Valley, looking for any signs of the Snow Beast, asking for directions and dodging the snow(balls), I finally came to a breakthrough. Footprints in the snow. Farfetched, you think? Not so, considering how fast the snow falls. I followed the prints to a cave. There seemed to be a faint light coming from the cave. After a few moments of gathering my courage, I decided to enter. Peeking in from the side of the cave, I saw a white hairy back of someone sitting behind a table. And I decided to go for it.

Me: Um, excuse me?

Snow Beast (SB): Huh... ROOAAARRRRRR!!! The Snow Beast will be waiting for you in the Battledome!!!

Me: O.O

SB: ... Yeah, I get that a lot. Run along now.

Me: Ugh... well... actually I was wondering if... maybe... I could get an interview?

SB: ... Wait, from ME?

Me: Yes, from you, sir.

SB: Are you sure? Sure you don’t mean the TAX Beast?

Me: Yes, I’m quite sure. You see, I’m doing this thing for the Neopian Times and was wondering if you could answer a few questions?

SB: The Neopian Times, you say... did you know that there are ZERO articles, stories or even comics there about me? Now if we were to talk about the TAX Beast, however...

Me: Uh, maybe they just haven’t been able to track you down. This isn’t exactly Neopia Central, you know.

SB: I guess I don’t really make it easy for them.

Me: Right! Which brings me to my first question. Why do you make it so hard for everyone to get you as a challenger?

SB: You think I don’t have anything better to do than hang around at Happy Valley and that calendar all day?

Me: Yesss.

SB: You’re so right. *sob*

Me: Hey now. Aren’t you supposed to be all grizzly and scary?

SB: Why? Just because that’s what everyone expects? Well I’m sick of it! Just because everyone ASSUMES that that’s what I’m like doesn’t mean that’s the real me! I can be cute and cuddly just as well, and...

Me: Good for you. Now about the interview...

SB: LISTEN TO MEEE!!!

Me: Look, I’m freezing and this is pointless. And frankly, you’re scaring me. Can you just promise us that you will show up more often, so we can move on, beastie?

SB: Yeah, sure, of course. BUTDON’TCALLMEBEASTIE.

Me: Why not?

SB: It’s what I call my pet. *pulls out Walking Carpet from under table*

Me: o.o Adorable.

SB: I know, isn’t he? ^^ I’ve had him for a while, though; he’s a bit dusty...

Me: Next question: Why live here, and not anywhere else?

SB: It’s the fur. The climate here is best for me, I can bear cold well. I once tried living on Mystery Island, but that was nasty...

Me: Whom do you socialize with up here in the mountains?

SB: You mean DOWN here. Most of my friends live in the Ice Caves or at the top. Like the Snowager. He’s a real chum. Hehe. I also try to talk to random passers-by, the ones that don’t run away anyway. Some just kind of freeze when they see me so that allows me to start a conversation. Although, when they unfreeze...

Me: They run?

SB ... Yeahh.

Me: Aww. So what do you do in your spare time?

SB: Firstly, ALL my time is my spare time. Secondly, I mostly play Snowball Fight and fight all of those people that want that there Defenders of Neopia trophy.

Me: Anything else?

SB: No.

Me: Nothing?

SB: No.

Me: You’re sure, completely sure?

SB: Yes. What are you getting at?

Me: You don’t happen to have anything to do with... petpets?

SB: Knew it would come to this. NO, for the last time, NO, it is NOT me that eats those petpets in Snowbeast Snackrifice. That’s just another Snowbeast looking for their 15 minutes of fame. There are other Snowbeasts in Terror Mountain besides me, you know. Although I’m THE Snow Beast; remember that. They’re just... Snowbeasts.

Me: Oookay then. Now for some more random questions. Do you like Meepits?

SB: Of course, what’s not to like! Cute, harmless, little pink critters. In fact, I used to have one.

Me: What was that like?

SB: It was great; he used to follow me everywhere, staring and... blinking... until one day he just disappeared. Only a few days before I noticed all my savings were missing, too. Poor guy, I was going to buy him a Christmas present with those.

Me: Yes, what a weird coincidence... So anyway, who were you rooting for in the Altador Cup?

SB: *gives weird look* Are you stupid? Terror Mountain, of course!

Me: I guess I deserved that... How do you feel about the winners?

SB: CHEATERS! REMATCH! REMATCH!

Me: So you’re one of those people... let's just skip this part. Favourite clothing item?

SB: Winter Blechy Hat! Ahh, the Blechy...

Me: Favourite petpet?

SB: Snicklebeast! Reminds me of myself in a way... but I can’t quite put my finger on what way that is.

Me: It... looks exactly like you except smiles?

SB: Might be.

Me: Great, now if you don’t mind, I’m going to ask you a few on-the-spot questions and you just pick one without thinking too much. Ready?

SB: Go.

Me: Meepit or Feepit?

SB: Feepit.

Me: What?! Well, I guess if you want to risk your safety, I can’t stop you. Illusen or Jhudora?

SB: Jhudora. Illusen asked for an unbuyable on quest 35 once...

Me: Sword of Skardsen or Pirate Captains Cutlass?

SB: None of the above. I prefer a Snow Beast Horn myself.

Me: Usuki or Quiguki?

SB: Usuki. Those Quigukis are freaky...

Me: Sloth or Lord Darigan?

SB: Sloth any day. You know, I’ll bet you 5,000 Neopoints that that Darigan had something to do with the results of the Cup. There is NO WAY that...

Me: Oh brother. Anyway, thank you for your time. It’s been an... entertaining interview. I’m sure our fellow Neopians will give you much greater respect now. Thank you and... until next time we meet!

SB: ... that, that those Darigan players could have scored all of those goals without any outside help. It doesn’t make any sense, I tell you! The Cup was fixed! Fixed, I tell you! And you know, I made it THIS close to being in the Terror Mountain team. If it would’ve been ME up there...

Those were the last words I heard him say before the blizzard completely smothered them. As I walked back down through hills of snow, I went over my interview once more. It had definitely been a peculiar interview and as I noticed, I hadn’t found out much at all. Aside from the fact that some people really do take the Altador Cup too seriously. o.o “But, maybe I have given the Snow Beast some well-deserved attention and maybe he’ll take it easier from now on,” I thought to myself as I reached the Slushie Shop. “At least for a little while...”