Enter the Snowflake's lair... Circulation: 143,141,548 Issue: 299 | 6th day of Swimming, Y9
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

A Letter from Zoing the Mutant Yooyu


by torkie10

--------

Dear Fauna,

      It's me, the official mutant yooyu that plays for the Altador Cup, Zoing. I realize that many people have become disappointed in me over the past week or so because I have changed how I act. The truth is, I was tired of doing things in such a predictable way when I was supposed to be unpredictable, so I thought I might help the fans out and make the game more fun. Now people seem to hate me even more than my cousin, who is new to the game, the official Darigan yooyu. I thought that if I explained this, you could tell the King and he could announce it to the fans. After all, I am only trying to make the game more fun.

      Because of my spikes, my curves tend to be very strange. I thought this would throw off some of the players, because most yooyus roll straight, but it didn't. Almost all the players knew exactly how I would act, and I was nothing more than an ugly version of the average, golden-skinned normal yooyu. I did not like being treated like this. I wanted to spend more time on the field. I noticed that my cousin, Dran the Darigan yooyu, got a lot of time on the field and loved it. I noticed that he was hated by a lot of players, and didn't really want that myself, but I was willing to try anything. So between matches, I asked him what he did and why he did it. He grinned at me and said, "Oh, Zoing, I just go away from the players. They have to chase after me, and I get to spend a lot of time out on the field." Dran grinned at me with a glint in his eye. "I can teach you if you would like."

      I thought about it for a moment and shook my head. "Sorry, Dran, but I just don't want people to be so mad at me."

      Dran shrugged as he was grabbed by the claw and yelled down, "Suit yourself."

      I thought for a moment and sighed. I was becoming very tired of the Altador Cup very quickly.

      Then there came that fateful match between two aggressive players. All the official yooyus, the professionals, were called in and averagely trained yooyus were used for the other matches the day Krawk Island and the Darigan Citadel struggled. I was very nervous. I had played for both teams before, and knew that both were very good and very VERY aggressive. When I rose into the light of the field, I heard the roar of the crowd for a split second before being roughly scooped up by a player. We were traveling at such fast speed that I did not have time to realize what team I was being held by before I was hurled at a goal. I quickly pulled in and curled and tightened up for dear life. Immediately, I was seized and blasted backwards, only to have someone, I believe the Citadel captain, pick me up and score. This was all done in less than five seconds. This happened over and over and over again until I felt so sick that I nearly had to be carried off of the field because I went "splat!" on the ground, my limbs sprawled. At last, I was scored and taken off the field, and Dran was placed on the field. I watched Dran on the field. I noticed that the fans were so intent on the players they didn't really notice Dran. Dran got a full minute on the field, and when he came back, he was ready for more. "You sure about that, Zoing?" He giggled. "Matches like these make it all worthwhile, you'll see. I'll be talked about for days and days." I looked over at Shard the snow yooyu (who was very pretty but didn't notice me), Soar the faerie yooyu, Ace the yooyu, and Zoom the fire yooyu. They each had their own advantages and disadvantages on the field. I envied them. Suddenly, I got an idea.

      "Hey Zoom!" I yelled. Zoom looked over at me, startled. I didn't talk much. "Would you teach me how to be a fire yooyu?" Zoom nearly laughed as he commented I looked nothing like a fire yooyu under his breath.

      "I know I look nothing like a fire yooyu, but I was so impressed by your skill I wanted to become like a fire yooyu." This was mostly flattery, but I did notice the crowd cheered the loudest when Zoom came onto the field. Zoom swelled with pride and took me aside.

      "Sure I'll teach you. Now, the main thing about a fire yooyu is that it is FAST."

      I thought for a moment and replied, "But you aren't really that fast compared to us, Zoom, so how are you so fast?"

      Zoom smiled knowingly and flamed. I shielded my eyes against the sudden light. "We get so hot, the players don't want to hold us, and they throw extra hard. The pain causes them to throw very hard." Zoom dimmed and looked at me. "Hmm. You can't burst into flame, but what about those spikes?" I glanced at my previously hated spikes. "Those are really sharp. I'm surprised you have never pricked anyone."

      "I keep my spikes in so that doesn't happen. But you are right, they are very sharp. If I suddenly stiffened them, they would go through the leather and jab the player. Do you think that would make me go so fast?" Zoom smiled and nodded. We practiced this for a while on some unwary supporters and I was going so fast that my curve was not an issue. I was really happy. However, I wanted to do more. So I went over to Soar.

      "Soar, how are you different from all of us?" I asked, carefully. Soar had a bit of a lofty idea of himself and was a bit unpredictable in his moods. Soar flittered into the air and smiled at me upside down.

      "I can fly, you silly. Oh, and my flying is so much better than our cousin Dran's, if you ask me. He is so ill behaved. So are you, in a way." It was here that I saw my chance.

      "I know, Soar, that is why I came to ask for your advice." I tried to appear contrite. "I need to behave in a manner more fitting to an official yooyu for the Altador Cup. Do you have any advice?" Soar sat down with a big smile and looked at me.

      "I saw you training with Zoom, and that shows you have the stamina and drive for what I am about to suggest." Soar took a deep breath and said with a very unreadable face, "Zoing, can you... bounce?" I nearly roared with laughter, but wisely didn't. I answered very seriously after a demonstration of my bouncing capability that I could bounce. Soar shook his head. "We need to work on that. Your bounce needs to go higher, faster, and curvier. The curve part should not be a problem, so let's work on the rest."

      It took a while, but after a few days of training, I was able to be almost faerie-like when I so chose by tightening certain muscles to make my hide more rubbery. At last, I was ready for my next lesson. This one was to be with Ace, and I was certain it would be the hardest.

      "Thank you, thank you, thank you! No, you are awesome! Yeah, I- OW!" Oops. I had my spikes out. Ace turned around. "Oh, hi Zoing. What do you want? The fans can't stay here forever, you know." I was glad I was such a quick thinker and smooth talker. I grinned and began my speech.

      "Ace, you do realize you are not making your time with them valuable?" Ace looked at me in surprise as I continued. "You are not making yourself a rare sight, so they can see you any time they want and the excitement isn't as great." Ace thought for a moment. "If you teach me how to roll in straight lines, I can help out with that." Ace nodded.

      "I have noticed you were always the best at hide and seek. I think that sounds fun. As for you, all you need to do is have two rows of spikes on the edge of your body out so that you will roll straight." I taught him all my secrets of hide and seek, and for several matches he hid in plain sight- people thought he was a stone yooyu in front of the large "Cup" that looked just like the "real" one. After a rest from playing and training, I wandered over to Dran. Dran turned around before I was even a meter away and grinned.

      "Hey, Zoing! You are really determined to be deviant, aren't you. I can help with that!" I thought for a moment and grinned back. Dran's face suddenly turned very serious. "Believe me, Zoing, going in the opposite direction of the player's throw is not as easy as it sounds. I am glad you learned how to perfect your bounce before coming to see me, otherwise I could not have helped you at all. I have wings, So I can fly right over the player and reverse direction, even if they throw me very hard, but you don't have wings so you will have to bounce as soon as you feel their muscles tense to throw you into the goal. Then, you act just like Soar, but instead in the opposite direction." Dran rambled as we walked toward an area where we could practice. "Oh, and only do it on half of the field. Otherwise the goalies would be furious."

      I thought that my time spent learning this would be only as long as the other lessons I received. I was seriously wrong. Other unofficial yooyus had to follow my example, and they learned quicker than I did, but I had to spend days perfecting my technique. Finally, I was able to bounce at just the right angle and time that I was deemed "deviant" by Dran. My final lesson gave me the most nerves- I was going to talk to Shard for the first time.

      I approached Shard nervously. She was surrounded by several other snow yooyus that were giggling over something. As I came by, I heard them hush and saw them stare at me. I nearly turned around right there and left, but Shard said something that surprised me. "Dran told me already." For a second I just stood there and stared. How dare Dran tell Shard that I thought Shard was pretty! Shard must have mistaken my silence for confusion, because she said, "You know, about how to act like a snow yooyu?" I nearly breathed a sigh of relief, but instead I just nodded. One of the other yooyus giggled, and Shard smiled. "Come with me!" she said happily.

      On the field, she told me that the reason snow yooyus were so slow was because they often slept during matches, and their freezing cold hides caused frostbite on many of the players. I was certain that I could not imitate this, but Shard surprised me once again. "Your slime should be a good substitute. It should slow you down fast and long enough to be like a snow yooyu." I was disappointed. I didn't want to gross Shard out by leaving slime trails all over a practice field, but she was determined to teach me. Those sessions were glorious. Alas, I eventually mastered the technique and no longer had a reason to hang out with her. I still visited her, but the next huge match was coming up- the rematch of Krawk Island versus the Darigan Citadel.

      This time, I knew I would have a slightly longer playing time, and that made me happy. Even though my actions caused a change in how mutant yooyus act on the field, much to the chagrin of the players, I had proved my color's trait of being unpredictable true. I realize that many players wring their paws when they see me and wonder what TNT did to make me change. The truth is, TNT had nothing to do with it. I made this decision on my own. If you could spread this explanation in some form or another to the King or the announcers so people would stop being a nuisance on the matter, I would greatly appreciate it.

      May the best team win!

      ZoInG!- The Official Mutant Yooyu of the Altador Cup

The End

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Altadorian Astrology
Those twelve signs are beings both alive and unique unto themselves. So, too, is each being influenced by many hundreds of factors, few of which can be learned by studying these stars alone...

by micrody

---------

Skiplerz
Urm... ahhh... Super Model potion? o.o

by gelert548

---------

An Inside Scoop Behind Faerieland's Altador Cup Woes
Faerieland's Finest or Faerieland's Folly? The inside scoop behind Faerieland's Altador Cup woes.

by evie_firebolt

---------

Explifericity!
We are birthday cake. We choose to defy the laws of physics.

by evalyn1012



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.