Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 143,499,168 Issue: 300 | 13th day of Swimming, Y9
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Neopia's Top Ten Femme Fatales!


by readsalot4211

--------

Silent footsteps, the gentle rustle of a long dress, the rustling of private documents: stuff you thought you’d destroyed. Stuff that may very well be your downfall.

They are Neopia’s sneakiest, most villainous women. Maybe villainous is a bit of an overstatement, but these shady characters are certainly people you wouldn’t want to run into in a dark alley. Or a well lit alley, for that matter. I give you: Neopia’s Top Ten Femme Fatales!

10. Sophie the Swamp Witch

Okay, so maybe Sophie isn’t the most evil lady around, but she certainly isn’t “nice”. She was downright cruel to Gilly while she was fleeing Bruno. She did abandon her family. Sorta. She’s better known for threatening to turn me into a pile of moldy cheese. And heck, she seems to enjoy casting spells on her poor Meowclops. She’s certainly earned her place as number 10 on the list.

9. Linae

Linae is an unevil person, one of the last people you’d expect to be mean or cruel, but she was both mean and cruel. First she ridicules poor Hoban about being unlucky, and then she criticizes Bonju’s awful cooking. I actually don’t blame her for making fun of such poorly made tuna-noodle casserole, but yikes! Lay off Hoban. I mean, really, he only got knocked off a ship.

8. Edna the Witch

Edna’s not exactly evil, and she can be helpful, but for the most part she’s mean. I mean really, look at her lousy quest “rewards”. *wipes mucus off hand* Anyone who makes you do that much work for that little reward surely can’t be a hero.

7. Caylis

Another one who maybe isn’t as evil as she could be. To be fair, Caylis has had a pretty rough life. First her home is destroyed by a swarm of angry pirates, after which she and her sister are forced to hide in the wreckage of their own home. Then, the king praises her sister, Isca, while she is thrown out of her home. She is then forced to live a very rough life alone out in the middle of nowhere. She has definitely suffered, and if you ask me, she has every right to be as mean as she wants.

6. Vira

Vira used to be a lovely Acara. She had long silky hair, and was admired by all. But alas, she was vain.

Vira’s vanity has gotten in the way of her life, and has destroyed all she once held dear. Vira made a deal, she traded her soul to be the most beautiful Acara in the world. But she made a poor deal. She’s beautiful, but along with her soul, she traded any kindness in her heart. She’s now just an empty shell, albeit a beautiful one.

5. Court Dancer

The nameless court dancer has enchanted audiences with her charm, whether they want to be charmed or not. Dancing her way into number five is The Court Dancer! The Court Dancer would be a lot more evil, but the common consensus is she was forced into it. She never wanted to cast a spell over half of Meridell, but the evil Lord Kass made her do it. So really, she’s just a nice girl who got involved with the wrong crowd. Let this be a lesson to all you scallywags, hoodlums, punks, rascals and irksome pets; You may wind up a nameless figure in the gallery of EVIL!!!!

4. Zafara Double Agent

We don’t hear much from the Zafara Double Agent. All we know is that she has a habit of finding her way into locked rooms. She’s scary because she knows what goes on behind closed doors. And she’s on everyone’s side. She’s spying for Skarl, but then runs off and tattles to Darigan. Beware those who betray their masters.

3. Masila

She’s known as “Mistress of the double-cross,” referring to how she would convince Galem to do things that would make her more powerful, while planning his downfall. She’s also attempted to force an evil monster to do her bidding, and tried to conquer an entire race of Neopets. As my mother would say, “There goes the neighborhood.”

2. Jhudora

She’s well known for giving quests, much like Illusen, her archenemy. Unlike Illusen, the items we strive to find for Jhudora are never put to a use your mom would approve of. We would like to have a list here of all the bad stuff she’s done, but we can’t. We can’t find anything that she’s done, because, as far as we know, she has never done anything. Many suspect Jhudora is merely bidding her time, like a snake in the desert sands, waiting for her opportunity to strike. Oh. Wow. Did I really just type that analogy? I must stop using analogies.

1. The Darkest One

*Shudders * The Darkest Faerie, once a hero, is now feared above all. She rewrote Altadorian History to make it say that she was the sole founder of Altador. She imprisoned many, and others simply... vanished. The only one who can keep her at bay is Fyora, our beloved Faerie Queen. And in the past Fyora has had to use magic to stop her from killing everyone. She put her to sleep for a millennium, but some say that the millennium is drawing to a close...

Also known as: Darkest, The Sleeper, Darkest One, Darkest Faerie.

And there ends my countdown of the top ten most dangerous women in Neopia. There are many feared people and pets in Neopia, some of who aren’t female. This is just my humble opinion of the scariest, most evil, fear-worthy, spookiest, creepiest women in Neopia. Thank you.

Author's Note: Look for Neopia’s Top Ten Goody Two-Shoes! Which will hopefully be published someday! Remember to eat your oatmeal. It sticks to your ribs!

Author's Xweetok's Note: Please chose to ignore any offensive material in this article. My owner has a little reality issue, but the nice doctor she’s talking to is helping her with it. Enjoy your day, and please don’t eat your oatmeal. It makes me gag.

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

What Kind of Neopian Times Fan Are You?
Are you a crazy obsessed super-fan or a Neopian Times destroyer?

by popso_the_hopso

---------

Life is a Playground! - The Faerie-Food Restaurant
*Nham*... Faerie Food!

by larenchan

---------

Roxy and Friends
I wonder...

by roxygirl7778

---------

A Birthday at Sea
Rose said I can visit you! I'll be there in 5 days, just like you suggested. I will be taking a flying ship called the Pflying Pfish, so meet me at the dock in Shenkuu!

by costa_rican_girl



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.