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Why? How? Could? The Unasked Questions of Neopia!


by _kamouflage

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You know those questions that everyone is always asking themselves in their head but no one ever thinks to actually write them down, to actually try to find the answers? Well, I, Kamo, an average Neopian, am going to dare to take this on. I'm going to write down the kind of questions that could get me a secret midnight visit from the TNT Secret Service. I'm going to... CHANGE NEOPIA! *clears throat* Okay, maybe I'm not writing anything that important, but still. Anyway, here are some mind-blowing questions that you will wonder about forever... or maybe just a few seconds.

1. Why is it that King Skarl and King Hagan are always gone from their castles at the same time? Could it be that, despite rumors that they hate each other, they aren't really eating and studying as they claim, but are actually having secret meetings?

2. Why was it that there was a certain Lutari, a Mr. Chipper, working at an ice cream cart in Terror Mountain long before the release of Lutaris? Was he sent there to see if the land of Neopia was safe for the others? Or was he there for more... evil purposes?

3. Why is the Flotsam from the Wheel of Mediocrity so *cough* excited? Does the wheel bore him or is really just a Grey Flotsam in a Blue Flotsam's clothing?

4. Is The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity really just an innocent little toy as everyone seems to think? Has anyone ever noticed that he's a... GRUNDO?! *Dun Dun Dun* Isn't it strange that a Grundo plushie lies suspiciously close to Faerieland, the home of some of Dr. Sloth's most hated enemies? Could he be a spy, a Baby Plushie Grundo, waiting to hear that one important piece of information that could lead to Sloth's next evil plan?

5. -Question blocked due to comments made about nonexistent jelly-

6. Could it be that the Ghost Lupe was put in the wrong gallery and is merely misunderstood? If he is so evil, then why is he often seen healing pets and warning of the dangers of Mystery Island?

7. Will these questions go on forever and ever, never to stop until the end of all time?

8. Is the Library Faerie, the least honored of all the faeries, really as stupid as she seems? Or is her lack of recognition making her want to seek revenge, her crossword puzzles just a way for her to gain the knowledge she needs to do so?

9. How did the Snowager acquire that massive pile of treasure? If all he ever does is guard and sleep, never leaving his cavern, then how is it that the pile never gets any smaller?

10. Do the Yooyus really like being used as balls in a sport? Sure they may all jump up and down, wishing to be the next ball used, but are they truly happy, getting thrown around, kicked, and booed when they go in the opposing team's goal? *cough* AnyTeamButKrawkIsland *cough*

11. How did the Hidden Tower get its name?

12. What does the Lever of Doom do with all of the neopoints it steals from the curious Neopians who chance a pull? Are they being kindly donated to the Money Tree, or are the ones who pull it helping Dr. Sloth further his evil plans? Or does Dr. Sloth use them to feed his precious petpet, which is a *looks around nervously* pink snowbunny named SnugglyWugglySweetiePieFluffyFluff?

13. Is Adam really obsessed with Asparagus? Or does he really hate it, his mom forcing him to eat it, and he hides little candies among the green leaves of grossness? Or is he really training an army of asparagus to attack the meepits that control TNT?

14. Why is it that the Tombola Guy, every now and then, asks for hundreds of thousands of neopoints? Is he using them for something other than the gross food and cheap prizes he gives out? And how can he be at the Tiki Tack shop and his Tombola stand at the same time?

15. Does TNT ever sleep?

16. Why can't Balthazar and the faeries be friends? Why does he hate them so much? Is he just really mean, or are those cute little faeries not as sweet as they look?

17. Why don't we ever hear about some Neopian accidentally stepping off of Faerieland? Surely, at least one innocent neopet must have mistakenly taken an extra step?

18. Are the whispers of a family resemblance between Jhudora and Illusen true? What is the real reason for the neverending arguments between them? Could it be jealousy?

19. Who turned the princes into Mortogs of Meridell? What were they princes of? And where do they go once you kiss them? Are they turned back into Mortogs by the suspiciously wart-covered Grundo?

20. Why is it in Meepit Vs. Feepit, that when the meepit wins, a bunch of his meepit buddies come out and cheer him on but when the feepit wins, he celebrates by himself, not a feepit to be found? Is the game just a distraction as the meepits take all the feepits away, never to be seen again?

21. What really is the Neopian Protection Zone 6b? What's going on in there?

22. Why is the first sentence of the Ultimate Bullseye game, "At last, Bullseye is back!!!"? Where did it go? And why does the turtum that holds the arrows have glowing red eyes and an evil smile? Does he know something we don't, that evil thing!?

23. Why do the wandering ghosts steal neopoints from Neopians and put them on the Money Tree? Are they actually kind ghosts who love giving but are too poor to do so, or do they just love stealing but are too stupid to know what to do with the neopoints they steal? Do they work for the Money Tree?

24. Why did I write this article in the first place?

25. Why is there an angry mob of neopets gathering outside my neohome, mad about the uselessness of these unanswerable questions?

The answers to these questions may remain mysteries forever.

 
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