Enter the Snowflake's lair... Circulation: 143,499,168 Issue: 300 | 13th day of Swimming, Y9
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Welcome to Altador


by jockylocky

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Welcome to Altador

ALTADOR - You close your eyes as Queen Fyora pulls a lever and bright light surrounds you. When you open them, the light starts to fade and you see luscious farming land, water in the distance, a small forest and a big city wall. Welcome to Altador, ruled by eleven heroes. In this article, we will talk about this magnificent land, who are some of the citizens are, what people do for a living and more! Enjoy!

On top of the cliff, you see everything of Altador, the water, the Hall of Heroes, the forest -- everything! You hike down the cliff very carefully and when you reach the bottom, you see a faint dirt path. You walk across it, losing its trail several times, but you do not get lost. After a while, you sit on a rock, exhausted. Then you hear voices! You can make out that they are both JubJubs and they are fighting. You've reached The Flat Rock Quarry!

"It's a perfectly flat rock quarry!" says one JubJub. "No! It's a perfectly flat rock quarry!" shouts the other. You sigh; they keep shouting the same thing over and over again! You must leave soon before you get a serious headache. Anyway, here you can buy perfectly flat rocks (if you couldn't figure that out already) for only fifty neopoints each! That's a bargain, so buy as much as you can! There is also a dirt path to the north of the Quarry that leads to the city wall, if that piques your interest. So, before you leave, correct the two JubJubs, since after all as everyone knows, it's really the perfectly flat rock quarry. ;)

After your exhausting trip of getting out the forest (and getting lost a few more times) you miraculously survive. You turn to face the west of Altador and you see a tall building on top of a high cliff. Yes, that's The Restive Tomb!

After your long, hard hike up here, you lift up the wood that's covering up the door and then you push the two doors open. Whoa! It's a mummified Gelatinous Non-Cube! Make sure you stay away from it, as you search around the tomb and look at the dead Neopets. And did you know that because of this mummified Non-Cube in the tomb, we have jelly? Yes, this is where your delicious jelly that you have been feeding your pets comes from! What? You thought it came from Jelly World? PAH! Everyone knows that Jelly World doesn't exist! Wake up and face reality.

Thank Fyora that... that... thing didn't eat you. Anyway, you push the board across the two doors and hike down the long cliff down to the city. You look around, squinting your eyes because of the hot sun in your way. You walk on the clear path towards the city gates! Two Lupe guards dressed in Altadorian clothing smile and greet you politely, and push the two very large doors open; you may now enter the city!

A very tall building stands in the middle. You see three waterfalls on each side of the building, with another one behind it. Neopets of all sorts, Lupes, Skeiths, Techos to name a few, smile welcomingly and welcome you to Altador as you walk to the famous landmark, The Hall of Heroes!

Twelve statues, twelve Neopets, one circle. In the middle of the circle, is a bright sun, colored with yellow and red. These statues, featuring King Altador, Jerdana, Florin, Marak and The Darkest Faerie and others have all helped Altador in a special way, some more than others, but Altador would not have been as it is without each and every one of these marvelous heroes. You can read the inscriptions if you can, but the Janitor was very busy at the time, so it's not readable, sadly.

Which brings us to the Janitor, also known as the Yurble Janitor. He does have a name... Bostingo (Pronounced Bo-STING-oh). He doesn't like it at all, so if you want to make it through Altador alive, better not call him that. He doesn't have important use to Altador, just cleans the statues and is still trying to pick up that darned rock that he's been having trouble with since the statue of the Darkest Faerie blew up. :( Poor Bostingo.

After the Yurble Janitor, you walk across the shiny floor, freshly waxed by Bostingo, to a very large entrance. You are suddenly blinded by the sudden flash of light as you turn the corner. Why, it's the Council Room!

I personally wonder how they got the bushes right in the middle of the columns, but I guess that's another story for another time. Anyway, here you see King Altador, Jerdana, Siyana, Sasha, Gordos, and last but not least Kelland! With the sun shining on their faces, they turn and smile at your visit. You can listen to the story about the Darkest Faerie's plot, collect a prize for saving Altador, or you can go back to the Hall of Heroes. The story is very entertaining, so stick around! But it looks like they are having a very important discussion about the city, so be sure not to overstay your visit.

Once you are done in the Council Room, you walk across the shiny, freshly waxed floor-Whoa! DON'T --- *crash* ...fall! >.< Eek, that was your head. Maybe a good look at the stars might cure your headache. That's right! Head to the Observatory!

If you like astronomy, and you love looking at the stars at night, the Observatory is right for you! There are many constellations to find; The Sleeper, The Farmer and The Hunter are just a few of the twelve! You might spend five minutes finding them all; you might spend five years finding them all! Best of luck! Feel free to explore the many boring papers here. No one cares... I think. So if you have an E-Z see telescope and permission to be up here, have fun!

Is your headache gone? Good! Now as you make your way down the stairs to the Statue Room, with Bostingo grunting and groaning trying to pick up that dumb rock, you leave the Hall of Heroes. Your face is sprayed with the waterfall in front of you. You turn to the West of Altador and begin walking on a whim. Surprisingly, you took the right direction and you stumble upon the Altadorian Archives!

Lots of things to do here! You can visit Finneus, the Altadorian Archives Keeper, get lost in the Library, find your way out of the Library, or visit one of its many clubs! But only one takes members. If you feel like reading, feel free to read the Book of Ages, featuring how each and every Altadorian Hero in the Hall of Heroes earned his or her title! And most of them just did a simple good deed. Who knows? Maybe YOU could be a hero forever known to each and every single Neopian! Or you could be a villain and be the terror of every single Neopian's heart. It's your decision! Oh, and be sure to say you're very very sorry to what happened to Finneus's favorite Meepit Plushie. The poor Lenny is suffering from very serious psychological trauma and is going to the local Torn Meepit Plushie Therapy Center across the street. :(

You step out of the Altadorian Archives and walk to the Northern City Gates! Before you exit the City, you see a very large stadium. It's called... The Altadorian Colosseum!

Here, 16 teams meet from across the planet to battle it out in Yooyuball, aka The Altador Cup! If you feel strong and have good weapons you can also battle here! Wait - that's for authorized personnel only, ages 25,482+! Or, if you feel all right, you can also visit the Punch Club! Drink punch, have pie, and stare at golden shields on goblets for hours on end! Fun fun fun! And best of all, you don't get to talk about punch! Unless someone talks about it, then it's okay. But everyone's not supposed to talk about. Go ahead, try some punch!

Behind the Altadorian Colosseum is the Northern City Gates! The exit out of the City, and to the northern part of Altador! The heat is hot, and you take a breather and sit on a bale of hay. Wait, what do you hear? "YOU DO NOT SIT ON A BALE OF HAY THAT WAY!" Hey, that rhymes! You feel proud of yourself for noticing that, then you look behind and see an enraged Moehog. Why, you must have stumbled upon Old Follies Farm!

Here at Old Follies Farm... you don't farm. Yes, instead you make the blue Moehog, Farmer Follie, mad by turning the Windmill on and off, with him screaming "WINDMILLS DON'T WORK THAT WAY!" It's so fun messing with an anger management problem! (Can anyone say the Yurble Janitor Bostingo?) If you do this multiple times, you will enjoy seeing him running inside the Windmill, then out, then in over and over again! It is quite amusing, so enjoy!

You finally stop laughing at the angry Moehog, and you walk towards the open sea of Altador! To the corner of your eye, you see some buildings! What could it be? Curiosity killed the Aisha, and you walk to the large building. As it turns out, it's the Docks!

Here at the docks, Altador receives shipments and sends them off to all parts of Neopia! Amazing hmm? And to think, if Altador never had these docks then... well, Altador never would have had docks! That is why these docks are so important! Use these privileges wisely! If you feel like swimming, go ahead. But if some Jetsams eat you while you're trying to swim to shore as fast as you possibly can, don't come pouting to me!

You make your way through the city, hike up the large cliff and look over the land of Altador. You smile, knowing you had a good visit. You look at the friendly folks who are waving up at you, and you wave back at them. You sigh as you look at Altador for the last time, and turn around and walk to a clearing. Within five seconds, light starts to surround you and you close your eyes. When you open them, the light starts to fade and you realise that you're at home, in your cozy and comfy bed!

And that is the glorious city of Altador; please, feel free to come back soon!

Author's Note: Happy 300th Issue Anniversary!! Thanks for reading and feedback is appreciated! -Jockylocky

 
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