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Fyora's Follies


by fearthejuliet

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Embarrassment--it's a pain. We've all experienced it, from the tripping-over-your-own-feet variety to the more extreme pants-fall-down-in-front-of-a-crowd brand. It's tough, but a part of life. Everyone's life.

That includes a Faerie Queen's.

Now, listen. We all know Fyora is graceful, poised and elegant to a fault, but logic dictates that she has to have moments of searing mortification from time to time. I, as your intrepid reporter, undertook the task of uncovering these moments in time for Fyora Day, and luckily, said Faerie Queen has allowed me to publish them (as soon as I persuaded her that they'd "humanize" her public image, that is).

It took a lot of research. It took a lot of time. But eventually, I compiled a list of utterly terrible humiliations from the Queen's life. And so, I present to you, The Five Most Embarrassing Things to Ever Happen to Fyora.

Moment the First: Baby Blues

The sole remnant of this event is a faded news clipping, buried deep in the Faerieland Library's archives. The scrap is taken up mostly by a photo, with a few lines of text below it--but what a photo it is.

In it, a squalling infant wails on a bed of luxurious fabrics. Purple wings flare out behind her and sprigs of equally vibrant hair tuft over her forehead. While the cuteness is undeniable (who doesn't coo at a baby?), the little one's outfit is questionable and was very possibly the cause of her crying. A green bonnet, crisscrossed with ribbons and frilled with layers of lace is tied snugly around the baby's head. Her tiny fists clutch at a dress festooned with ruffles and glitter, all in shades of orange, purple and red. Slippers sheath her feet, dotted all over in bows and sequins. Below the photo, the caption reads, "Queen Luyona recently gave Neopia a glimpse of Princess Fyora, who will be three weeks old tomorrow. Her clothing is ancestral and has been passed down for generations."

Yikes. One glance at that rainbow monstrosity and anyone can sympathize with the Queen's shades-of-one-color fashion statement.

Moment the Second: School Scare

This occurrence is more well-documented, albeit in the journal of a faerie that didn't leave her name. Nevertheless, the little notebook (pink and sparkly) found its way into the archives I sifted through and proved to offer insight into the young Fyora's life. The entry, dated to the fourth day of Running, reads as follows:

"School was kind of boring today... except for one thing. I feel sort of bad for laughing at it, though. Here's what happened: Sayeesi and I were in Art Class, working on our landscapes. Everyone was pretty much done except for Fyora, and she had worked really, really hard on her picture. It was sooo pretty, seriously. When she finished, she was walking up to the front to give it to the teacher when WHAM--Jhudora ran up behind her and pushed her really hard! Fyora fell onto her picture and ruined it, and she looked really sad about that, but then she looked down and saw that the paint had smeared all up and down her dress. Jhudora was punished, but Fyora was so embarrassed--Taelia took her to the bathroom to help get it off but it didn't really work. She had to walk around all day with this giant splotch on her dress! Everyone laughed at her... Sayeesi said I shouldn't, but I did. I feel sort of bad, though."

Clearly, Fyora's school days were fraught with mortification. Such a situation is also apparent in the next moment...

Moment the Third: Nasty Note

This particular happening lives on in a ragged piece of notepaper. The words are scrawled in a schoolgirl's hand (obvious from the pink ink) and were clearly passed from desk to desk one idle school day. It reads:

"PASS IT ON: Fyora wears footie pajamas with Doglefoxes on them!"

Callous, squealy additions litter the paper, written in other hands. Whether or not the rumor was true, the embarrassment is clear.

Moment the Fourth: Birthday Blooper

The next mishap is the first of Fyora's actual reign as Queen. In fact, it dates to her first year, and moreover, to her first important ceremony, celebrating the birthday of Faerieland's oldest recorded ruler. The knowledge of this event comes from a tattered magazine--a tawdry thing, splashed with lurid colors and devoted to exploiting the accidents of the rich and famous. Fyora certainly qualifies, and the article on her is extensive:

"QUEEN FYORA BUNGLES BIG! On Thursday, Faerieland's monarch found herself in quite the predicament when she mispronounced the names of not one, but TWO honored guests! As she addressed the crowd at the annual Tuyassa Birthday Ball, the lavender-loving leader introduced Lady Bunthi of Meridell as Lady Boochi, and then, clearly embarrassed, proceeded to announce the visiting Duke Jadurta of Maraqua as Prince Jhudora! The young Queen nearly tripped over herself in her haste to apologize, but the damage had already been done--not only had she mixed up a respected noble with a baby-crazy Bruce, she had substituted one of the most malicious faeries around for a well-known ruler! Both royals left immediately, clearly miffed, though the Queen herself apologized profusely. No word yet on how this will bode long-term for Fyora's reign."

Truly horrifying. It is not, however, the last mortification on our list--there is still one more.

Moment the Fifth: Sleepy Slip-Up

Our last occurrence is not only the most recent, but arguably the most embarrassing. It figures, then, that it's the best-documented of all the items on this list. I have selected a single photograph to explain the event, and so I shall describe to you:

Fyora sprawls in an armchair. Next to her, a glass-front cabinet brimming with in-your-wildest-dreams Battledome items sits--clearly, she is in the Hidden Tower. As it's hidden, it comes as no surprise that she suffers long stretches of time up there, waiting for someone to stumble in--unfortunately, the wrong sort of person did just as she succumbed to the boredom of those hours. The faerie is lost in a deep sleep, with limbs askew and mouth hanging open. A lick of hair points upward from where it's mussed against the upholstery of her chair, and perhaps worst of all, she clutches one of the very Faerie Queen Dolls available in the Tower to her chest. The photo is amateurish and candid, and really, nobody's sure of who took it, but the image was smeared across headlines and passed among Neopians faster than lightning. Upon discovering it, Fyora did all she could to remove the implications--sleeping on the job!--but despite the people's love for her, there will always be that photo, looked to and laughed at.

So now we're all acquainted with the lowest moments of our glorious queen. You might have laughed, you might have cringed, you might feel nothing but pity towards her now, living in the ever-scrutinizing spotlight. But you will have learned something to cherish this Fyora Day--Faerie Queen though she may be, Fyora is just as imperfect as the rest of us. And this, in truth, is what makes her such a successful monarch.

 
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