Jelly: Food or Furniture?

But have you ever thought that jelly could become the building block of the future? Yes, I know it seems next to impossible because of its jiggly nature, but some mad scientist who had forgotten to take his medicine found a way for jelly to become somewhat stiffer and stronger, making it ideal for building.

And build they did. Now you can get several kinds of furniture made from jelly, and jelly walls are available for your neohome. There are also rumours flying around about there being a whole world made from jelly. Of course, such an idea is quite outrageous and said world does not exist. *shifty eyes*

However, the idea of building with jelly has long been debated.

There are several main points in this debate. One of them is the potential cost of the finished product. Those who support jelly point out that most jelly is low in cost. They say that the materials needed cost not much more than a few hundred neopoints. Those who oppose say that, if jelly become a primary building material, the jelly supply will decline and prices will inflate. "And where does that leave us?" asks Professor James Doodlegrass. Doodlegrass majors in the study (and eating) of food. "Jelly will inflate, the cost of construction will go up, and the average Neopian will no longer be able to afford one of life's simplest pleasures," Doodlegrass said as he adjusted his belt in a press conference last week.

Another point of debate is the usefulness for the product. "Jelly products are just as useful as any other product out there," claims Jill Eve, a student at Neopian Central Middle School. "Plus, if you get hungry or grow tired of it, you can eat it. See? Problem solved," she added. Supporters also claim that the jelly adds extra comfort when used in sofas and beds. Neopians against jelly say that the fact that it is edible could be its downfall, especially when used as walls in neohomes. "What if you get a bad case of pests?" says Maria Joyce Winters, a petpetpetologist. "There are several species [of petpetpets] that enjoy eating jelly more than any other material. It's been proven. What if one of those species finds its way to your front door?" Winters said as she banged on the podium at last week's press conference.

Something that both sides stress is reliability and safety. "Next to feathers, jelly is the softest material out there," says Luis Gongtelli. Gongtelli works for a company that makes jelly furniture. "So comfort is something you can rely on. And we make the material in a way that it won't give under the stress of daily use," he adds. In fact, out of one thousand customers surveyed, only twelve reported their product breaking in any way during the first year due to manufacturing neglect and poor material. "If that's not reliable, then I don't know what is," Gongtelli commented. And safety? "As long as you don't eat your product and then attempt to use it, you should be fine," said a spokesperson for the company Gongtelli works for with a smile at last week's press conference. Doodlegrass looked on with disgust as the spokesperson spoke. He then reportedly got up to argue the opposing view of the matter. "Do you honestly think that jelly, the food that all of Neopia loves, the best thing that's happened since sliced bread, the soft, mushy stuff you feed your children, can be a safe and reliable building block?"

When you buy a piece of furniture, you often buy it because it matches your neohome. "Oh, sure, jelly matches everything!" said Jill Eve. "I mean, it comes in such a variety of colors and styles for you to choose from. Chances are you will find one to match your neohome." Gongtelli agrees. "Tell me, what color are the walls painted in your bedroom? Green? We have a lovely selection of green beds that will match the walls." Tommy, Jill Eve's classmate, laughs at the idea. "The only thing that jelly furniture could really match is jelly," she said, then challenged Gongtelli to find a jelly bed that matched his blue-with-gray-polkadots walls. Gongtelli countered with a pale navy-blue bed with a gray mattress.

An area of concern surrounding jelly walls in the neohome is how well they perform: How waterproof they are, how long they last, etc. "Jelly walls are built to last, as are any other types of walls," points out Aprille Flowers, president of the Flowering Jelly Company, which manufactures jelly products such as walls and furniture. "If they weren't," she adds, "I wouldn't be selling them with my name on them." In fact, a recent survey shows that nine out of every ten neohomes that were built either partially or entirely of jelly has performed wonderfully. "But what about the tenth house?" asks Doodlegrass. He fights Flowers' survey with the fact that she did not include those hit by the massive flooding last year. "How many of those houses survived?" Doodlegrass asked in an almost snobby tone of voice at last week's press conference. At this, Flowers reportedly stood up and yelled in Doodlegrass's face that no house survived the flooding and that his tie looked ridiculous against the suit he was wearing. Doodlegrass seems to be trying to file a restraining order against Flowers but would say nothing about it and forbade me from talking to his lawyer.

As the debate rages on, more and more Neopians are becoming aware of the advantages and disadvantages of jelly furniture and walls. And it seems that more and more Neopians are getting involved, voicing their views, screaming their side, offering their opinions. It seems that it is only a matter of time before all of Neopia will be asking, "Jelly: food or furniture?"