Voice of the Neopian Pound Circulation: 140,357,144 Issue: 294 | 1st day of Relaxing, Y9
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A Queen-to-be Life

by curlycute_2


You might be thinking right now that ‘It must be so easy being the Faerie Queen, rarely receiving millionaires at the top of the tour offering so much money that would be enough for feeding the whole Neopia.’ But, if you think with your mind in the right place, Faerieland is not a very easy place to run all by yourself. Here, you’ll read about what the little Fyora - while a little faerie - had to learn before assuming the throne and how she applies it today in one of the most enchanting kingdoms of Neopia.

I. Etiquette: As the Faerie Queen, Fyora represents all the faeries in the boring balls and dinners with kings from everywhere. To impress them, Fyora learned how to sit, eat, drink, talk, and pose correctly, classes that took so long that the poor little faerie didn’t have any time for playing with her royal toys or even her parents. I still feel sorry for her.

II. Fashion: You might be thinking that fashion is not all that of a important subject but just imagine: the Faerie Queen in one of those boring dinners wearing an old-fashioned dress that she took from her mother’s retired wardrobe because she forgot to ask somebody (or even do it herself, which is probably impossible, as she is the queen) to take her lavender chiffon dress to the Royal Dry Cleaners because she was too busy taking care of her hair (which is also important, but not at that time). Imagine the shock in the others queens’ faces. Imagine the embarrassment it would be for the so glorious faeries when they discover what their queen did. That’s definitely something to think about.

III. Politics: To run a peaceful and ordered kingdom, the Queen must know who she’s dealing with and how to overrun them. Unfortunately, it is not so easy. Neopia has many Kings and Queens or just people to run the place and Her Majesty needed to learn all their names, the kingdom they rule, their tactics of attack in combat (you never know when it's time for a war) and their weaknesses. For example, King Skarl, the king of Meridell, is pretty easy to deal with. Just tell him a joke and give him a Heavenly Roast Turkey and he will sign anywhere for anything (just remember to give him a treat every time the subject is mentioned). But as everybody knows, life is not always fair and some people are a little bit harder. Let me remind you of Jhudora; I know you remember her and you must know she is not an easy one. She might want to trick you into some world domination agreement but you can truck her into giving her a million neopoints every now and then and receive some evil potions back. But don’t forget: give her enchanted neopoints that will disappear during twenty-four hours (duh). She will get mad and attack you but you already have her evil potions. Good thinking, eh?

IV. Government and Economics: As I already mentioned, to deal with so many rulers is not easy but learning advanced history, civics and mathematics is a little bit worse. Let’s start with history. Faerieland is an ancient kingdom with many interesting facts that almost nobody knows. They were probably written so many years ago that it was necessary for many historians to recuperate. These historians worked hard night and day, translating ancient languages and codes that till that date no one knew about. The cultures before the actual Faerieland we know about were there and who needed to learn all of them? Yes, the little Fyora who was taken away from her dolls in the warm and breezy afternoon to be locked in a dusty room with infinite books that she needed to learn. Okay then, next we have civics. You might not even know what I’m talking about, but here it goes. Fyora needed to learn all the rules and laws of the kingdom, to help in the judgment of people that she didn’t even know. And there again we have a little faerie being carried away from her lavender bedroom to sit inside a dusty library with an old Lenny and huge stacks of books everywhere. She was locked there till dinnertime, when - as if it made any good - she was sat at an enormous table eating soy milk and tofu, with books next to her. Later, it was math time. Not the ones we learn at neoschool, but the ones they teach at Universities for Scientists and Mathematicians. I know it’s getting kind of boring, but fortunately they didn’t even have to take her away from her toys. As an obedient faerie teenager, she woke up and headed directly to the library to start her studies. Mathematicians from everywhere were hired and taught her advanced algebra, geometry, trigonometry and whatever ‘metrics they needed. All this just to create the perfect ruler, the one everybody trusts (almost everybody).

V. Today: And now you ask yourself: How in the world does she apply all these classes and rules in her daily life? The Etiquette part was already explained; no need to remember the boring dinners. The Fashion department could be used by anyone at any time. Summer is almost here and with the fashion shifting directions like the wind, there is always something else to learn. Politics is a subject that doesn’t apply to everybody but is always good to know. The rulers from our time are not the same we used to trust. Government and Economics is good to know, especially if you ever want to be a respectable lawyer, judge, banker and stuff like that.

See? To run that huge puff ball of clouds is not so easy and you must think twice before judging anyone. The little Fyora must have had to make terrible sacrifices just for that throne and she is also kind and generous (especially on Fyora Day or during the Faerie Festival). I hope you enjoyed this article because it was a pleasure for me!

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