EDITOR'S NOTE: Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep! Ha! You humans will never know what we just said. Anyway, hope you're having great fun with the magazine. GIVE IT UP FOR ISSUE 1! We're making our big debut today in Neopia Central, main place for Meepits taking over! I mean, being sold. Of course. We all know...*gulp*. Anyway, let's start with our first article, of DOOM! No, wait, that's at the end. I present, MEEPIT: FACT OR FICTION?
- Annie Meeps, Editor
What do YOU know about Meepits? Find out with this nifty little article! Meep! By Sarah Blake.
Fiction: Meepits wish to rule Neopia: Face it, we feel so alone. Everybody thinks we want to rule Neopia, but we don't! Nobody buys us Meepits, all because of the *cough* true *cough* things going around about us. It's fiction, really, really, it is, DON'T ARREST ME!!!!!!
Fact: Meepits wish to rule the Neopian Times: OK, we are a little, um, greedy, maybe. But we could answer loads more questions than Donna could ever dream of imagining!
Fiction: Meepits are going to rob Adam and Snowflake: This is a classic. NO! El Picklesaur, or Poptart, maybe, but Adam and Snowflake are safe.
Fact: At night Meepits dance around to Twisted Roses songs in pink underpants singing like maniacs: Some things do not need explaining, young Neopians! Trust me...
Fiction: Meepits want to steal Adam's asparagus: FALSE! But they do want to steal Donna's extensive tomato collection (what? You didn't know?) and sell it.
Hope this cleared things up! Our Meepits have a meeting with Sloth, I mean Fyora, so drop by later! Didn't that article clear some great things up? Ahhhh. Now, we present our entertainment section! This magazine section is definitely the place for gossip, news, and most of all, ENTERTAINMENT! This is me, Annie, here with some Meepit news! But first let's go to Kat for today's reviews on Neopian entertainment today!
KAT: Well, first let's start with the books. Today we'll be reviewing a lovely ghost tale that is not recommended for young Neopets/petpets/humans/petpetpets or people who wet their pants often. The book is called Ghost Techo Tales, and it's a really haunting thriller. They are all strange and ghostly events sent in by real Neopians! In one story, a Wocky named Kayla's stepsister is talking to a strange Techo figure in a graveyard in the valley... you'll have to read it yourself! I highly would consider it an honor to be able to get your hands on this book. You'll never put it down, mostly because there is a Meepit in it. It tries to attack Kayla... I mean, help her stepsister. Yeah. Right. Our featured game is called Meepit Juice Break. Meepits actually cursed Juppie Juice, and now they drink Neopian blood, but don't worry. They don't know your address... not yet, of course. The object is to get the juice to the Meepits. This game should be cancelled. We're tired of forcing down some Juppie Juice. Just let us suck your blood. Oh Fyora!
Annie: Thanks, Kat, for those wonderful reviews. Next up is Meridith Finney, our weather Meepit, with today's forecast!
MERIDITH: Well, Annie, today's weather in the Haunted Woods is dark, dreary, and perfectly great for making evil plans! You'd better get your evil plan notebooks, my friends, because the night is right for some evil!
Annie: Thanks, Meridith, for your outstanding information. Now it is time for our last article. It's too bad. I was really looking forward for some other things, but we need some stories for Issue 2! So here we are, the final article. And I am happy to say that it's probably our best yet.
HOW TO RULE NEOPIA
A complete guide to ruling, caring for, and invading Neopia. By Meridith Finney and Katie Oakley.
Most Meepits have a well thought out plan for their invasions of this small little world. But really, have they ever decided on one thing? Meepits will rule together. There is not one Meepit dictator. Our species will overcome someday. And this clearly states that we need one plan. We discussed it with Annie, Kat, and Dr. Sloth, and we've finally created a decent idea that you Meepits will be proud of. First, we buy some black spy outfits. We probably won't need them because people will just run away from us. But have you seen that top? So cute! Afterwards, we sneak over to the petpet lab ray, and hold the Kookith captive until he gives the ray to us Meepits. This job is for some super spy Meepits down at the secret agency that you pathetic humans don't know about. HA! After the machine is stolen from the small petpet, we pretend to be innocent Angelpi going door to door to ask petpet owners what their least favorite petpet/color combination is. Then we go hold the Kookith captive again until he tells us how to make the petpet lab ray work to do whatever we want it to. Once we find out, we turn everybody's petpets into their owner's worst nightmares! We do the same thing with the regular lab ray. This whole part was Sloth's idea, but he couldn't think of a conclusion to the plan. That's when we both stepped in. We assumed that the neopets and humans would be upset and would be begging to get their pets to return to normal. Then we do the ol' classic: Blackmail. We threaten them. We say that if we can rule Neopia, their pets can be back to normal. Then, we rule! The owners will have no choice but to hand over Neopia to us! Then we can banish all Feepits and make more Meepit merchandise, and that other... special... thing we've been talking about...
Annie: Wow! These people are naturals! Don't you think this plan will get Neopia into our hands? Or paws? Or claws or whatever? Exactly what I thought. This issue is over, I am very sorry to say. Now let's end the magazine with one special word: MEEP!
I really like how these people support our idea of ruling Neopia. I'm sure Annie will come up with some more great ideas! - Daizy the Christmas Meepit
Meep! - Cody the Ghost Meepit
This is so much better than Feepit magazine! They're Copy Aishas! - Awesomeness the Island Meepit
Meep! - Cody the Ghost Meepit
I feel like somebody is watching us... this magazine is too good for human eyes! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GET 'EM! GET 'EM! - Angry the Fire Meepit
Meep??? - Cody the Ghost Meepit