Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 140,357,144 Issue: 294 | 1st day of Relaxing, Y9
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The "New" TNT: The Neopian Tabloids - Fyora Edition!

by enigma_on_ice


(Due to an ongoing issue with our vendor, The Neopian Tabloids has been on a hiatus since Issue 200. However, thanks to a great new rate on printing cost we are pleased to announce the TNT is back on the shelves! This issue focuses on the Queen of the Faeries, Fyora. Sure, she seems not to do much more than guard the rather pricey treasures at the Hidden Tower, but this roving reporter has decided to dedicate a day to following Fyora around and seeing how she REALLY spends her time).

6:00 a.m.: A well placed Harris confirms the Queen is up and getting ready for the day. The only noteworthy item he has to report is that apparently, even faeries age. Her royal highness seems to be a rather big fan of the grooming parlour's hair color #263: Luscious Lavender.

7:00 a.m.: After a breakfast of faerie hotcakes, sparkling faerie porridge and some kind of fizzy, pale green liquid, she heads over to the Hidden Tower to open up for the day. Apparently, she doesn't seem to expect many customers this early in the day as she begins an immediate inventory count.

7:15 a.m.: One pink faellie turns up amongst the Supreme Deluxe Faerie Queen Dolls. It receives a stern tap to the nose and is shooed out of the tower. Possible faellie spy? Or just looking for a soft place to nap? *makes mental note to track down faellie and question*

8:00 a.m.: The first buyer of the day wanders into the tower. Wandering casually behind him, I squint closely. What appears to be a lock of dung colored hair flops over his forehead and he wears a bright blue meepits vs. feepits hat and sunglasses. Rushing over to the pile of Faerie Queen Dolls, he snatches up one and pays for it quickly. Cuddling it tightly under one arm, he nods at Fyora who winks back in return. Blushing, he leaves, with a nearly invisible purple Grundo following him. Could it be?? Nahhhh...

10:00 a.m.: A steady stream of customers has been in and out of the tower all day. For the most part, it seems like a pretty normal sales day, as pets rush in with their owners to lay claim to Baby Paint Brushes, Swords of Skardsen, and various other treasures. Fyora seems to spend a vast amount of time filing her nails and chattering to the faeries who rush around the tower replacing stock and collecting neopoints. Stifling a yawn, I contemplate trashing the article and seeing if I can find a more entertaining faerie to stalk.. errrrrr, observe.

11:00 a.m.: Lunch hour! On her way out of the tower, strangely, she grabs a Werelupe Claw Necklace and stashes it in her pocket. I follow her to Neopia Central. Glancing around to make sure she isn’t being noticed ( I mean, who wouldn’t notice the queen of faeries wandering around, right?), she ventures into a deep corner of the coffee shop. My eyes widen as I notice her lunch companion. None other than Balthazar, the faerie hunter. In low voices, they seem to argue over their cups of purple juppie java. Finally, she nods and holds out her hand. He hands over a rather bulging bag. Opening it up, she nods and passes over the werelupe claw necklace. Clutching it to his chest, he smiles and as the dim light sparkles off his pearly whites, I notice a gap towards the back of his mouth. Smiling brightly, Fyora pats him on the cheek. As she passes me on her way out, I notice a tinkling sound coming from the bag.

12:30 p.m.: Back at the tower, a fight seems to have erupted between a light faerie and a rather adamant pet owner. The owner is demanding a refund on his Ghostkershield, stating it “wouldn’t block a mootix!” After watching the exchange for a minute, Fyora smiled slightly and mumbled a few words under her breath. With a poof of lilac smoke, the owner disappears and a rather startled baby Cybunny peers up from the floor. Guess she means it when she says NO refunds...

3:00 p.m.: See 10:00. Ho... hum.

3:36 p.m.: My nap ends abruptly when a furious cloud of purple and green enters the tower. Jhudora rushes up to Fyora and demands to know who planted the purple lilacs and pink poppies around her cloud. Apparently, every time she tries to pull them out, another one replaces it. Mumbling something about a Faerieland beautification project, a smirking Fyora escorts Jhudora out the tower via the closest window.

6:00 p.m.: After signing off on some invoices and leaving the nightly tower business to a capable looking air faerie, Fyora leaves the tower for the day. Walking through the tower entrance, she suddenly falls face down on the floor. Camera clicking, I catch a rather ungraceful looking Fyora staring at a drowsy, blue faellie. The faellie yawns and curls back in a ball. Muttering something about an exterminator she stalks off to her private chambers.

8:14 p.m.: The mystery of the tinkling bag is finally solved. Donning a long coat and a pair of sunglasses, Fyora heads over to Mystery Island, bag in hand. Glancing around to make sure she isn’t recognized, she enters the Trading Post and starts listing multiple trades of discounted bottled faeries. In less than 10 minutes, the bag is emptied and she heads over to Tombola Guy with the proceeds. Is it possible Fyora is the one who funds our favorite Tiki Man's game??

10:00 p.m.: Based on my Harris source, the queen is early to bed and early to rise. The tower may be open nearly 24 hours a day, but even a queen needs her beauty sleep. As light snores filter through the air, the Harris wanders out with a few pictures of Fyora’s “night time” look: Fuzzy Cybunny Slippers, a tiki themed nightshirt and enough cold cream to give the vainest Uni a run for her neopoints.

DISCLAIMER: There is no Harris spy. It was really a renegade fire faerie who refuses to be named. Really. All info obtained for this article came straight from eye witnesses. Or at the very minimum, 3rd party sources. Guess there’s a lot of disgruntled faeries in Faerieland. And those weren’t bottled faeries she was selling. It as really bottles of sand. Honest. Would ANY tabloid journalist lie to you??

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