Neopia's Fill-in-the-blank News Source Circulation: 142,557,853 Issue: 289 | 27th day of Eating, Y9
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

The 411 On Coffees and Teas


by bailey_watro

--------

Everyone’s been to Ye Olde Coffee Shoppe, whether you’ve just stopped by on the way to the art gallery or you’re one of those people who can’t get up in the morning without that extra boost (I am one of those people). What most people don’t know are the deep facts about coffee and tea. How are they made? What makes these hot beverages so darn good? What should you watch out for when drinking them? Well, lucky for you, I’m going deep into the depths of the Coffee Shop to answer these questions that have been eluding us for so long.

Jelly Coffee

Is there really anything better than waking up to a snack of Jelly Coffee? This particularly firm coffee is made from orange jelly taken from a “special” source and water, coffee beans, and just a little bit of cream are added. The Mug is made out of more special heat resistant Jelly. The great thing about this coffee is that it’s made of jelly and everyone loves jelly and coffee, so it’s like the best coffee you can get, and when you’re done you can eat the mug!!! However, Jelly is very hard to come by, considering its origin is unknown. *cough*

Festering Coffee

I had to make several trips to the hospital while investigating this coffee so I just want to start off by saying this probably isn’t the best choice for your morning pick-me-up because it will probably do the exact opposite. Though I won’t go in to all the details of how this is made (because believe me, you don’t want to know), I will tell you that a bunch of rotten ingredients is thrown into fresh coffee and is set to sit for a very, very long time. This coffee is good for April Fools, but I wouldn’t recommend drinking it yourself.

Electric Coffee

Now here’s a rejuvenating Coffee! I was literally bouncing off the walls while drinking this one. Coffee is mixed with a blueberry snow puff and is then shocked with 10,000 volts of electricity. Whoooooo!! This is great for those days when all you want to do is sleep and ignore the call of your neopets outside your door. A drink of this and you’re out the door and ready to go, even if your hair is a little on the frizzy side from the electrical discharge. You may want to let this one cool for a little bit, though, or else you’ll end up with something a lot worse than static in your hair.

Spicy Mystery Island Coffee

Ahhhh, this is my favorite coffee, mostly because it is shipped to Mystery Island where I live, but it also provides a citrus spice flavor to add a little pep to your mornings. Mystery Island provides this coffee that dares to be different with its 'seven secret spices' flavor mixed with fresh squeezed banan brewed to perfection. This unique coffee is sure to wake you up in a jiffy, and who doesn’t love a little palm tree in their morning beverage? Be warned, though; this coffee is not for the adventurous (was that a pickled eel floating around in there?) and the nose on the mug makes it a little hard to drink, but try it anyway. It’s a great coffee.

Coffee and Marshmallows

You’re sitting at home in your easy chair, the fire’s going strong in your fireplace, and the first snowflakes of winter are just starting to fall. While all this is happening, you get the vague sense that something is missing... of course! Your coffee and marshmallows! What’s a cold winter night without this classic blend of fresh brewed coffee and two extra large marshmallows? This is perfect for long nights of reading a good book or writing a Neopian Times article. The aura of peace is lost, however, if it’s not winter, not cold, or not nighttime.

Thornberry Tea

If you’ve got a sweet tooth, then Thornberry Tea is the drink you’re looking for. With its sweet taste and a texture that suspiciously resembles icing, it will go great with that chocolate orange doughnut you’re having. This sweet drink is made from fresh thornberries and tooth faerie sweets, so it’s sure to get you up in the morning. Great for anyone who can’t resist biting into something sweet and delicious to start their morning. Beware of drinking this too often, though, as it can lead to cavities. (Watch out for those thorns too.)

Earl Grey Tea

Now here’s a classic that is known throughout Neopia, Earl Grey Tea. It’s a rather bland flavor, but it gets the job done. This is made like any other standard tea, with hot water and a tea bag. It’s the perfect solution for someone who doesn’t have a lot of time, because it's quick and simple to make and it’s a mild flavor, so it’s also good for those people who think “inside the box”. You have to admit that Earl Grey is kind of *Yaaaaawwwnnnn* bland, though, and it’s really not going to wake you up on those groggy mornings.

Snowberry Tea

Mmmmmm. Who doesn’t love tea mixed with fresh snowberries? The tasty melody is a rather simple blend of three fresh snowberries and Earl Grey Tea. This tea is lovely for anyone who wants something new and exciting or is just tired of the same old thing. The only strange thing about this certain type of tea is that it defies the laws of physics. It somehow manages to have snowberries (something rather cold) in its Earl Grey and still stay nice and toasty, but hey, when has something like physics-defying tea ever stopped you before?

Spiced Pumpkin Coffee

This Coffee tastes as festive as it looks! Pumpkin Juice is mixed with intergalactic spiced beans and is stirred into this coffee that was once so popular at the Deserted Fairground until it became, well, deserted. Great for the holidays or just when you’re yearning for something like apple cider with a little kick (and who isn’t?). Careful of the seeds, though; they can be dangerous. And please don’t eat the mug.

Well, there you have it; the 411 on some of the most popular coffees and teas with a lot of beverage sipping on my part. Whew, now I’m all talked out. Bye!! *waves wildly*

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

The Gallion Ranch
I see the Gallion *Rancher* is showing off his prowess with the rope...

Script by hakuryu_86

by pacmanite


---------

Outsider Within: Web of Deceit - Part Three
What had he overheard in his tavern last night? He liked D.A.; she was a classy lady. But what she had said last night to that reporter...

by tashni

---------

Pint-Sized
I promise to feed him and pet him every day...

by lachtaube

---------

The Music Master
But the Music Master did not mind any of this mess; indeed he wouldn't have it any other way. Rather, he sat serenely on a piano bench, watching the last few Neopians run past his shop...

by harry135535



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.