The Neovian Gazetteer

Neovia is a very complex and mysterious town, and it was very difficult to get any information about it, but after I spent many days in Fyora's Library, I managed to come up with the following:

The town consists of mostly middle to upper class. The weather is almost always foggy, and very few residents remember a time when it hasn't been. The town has been abandoned for many years and is located in the deepest and darkest part of the Haunted Woods.

You can find it just past the path right on the edge of the gypsy camp. You may want to bring a flashlight with you on your journey, though, because you never know what those Meepits are up to.

Once you actually find the town of Neovia, you may be tempted to ding-dong ditch every one of the houses. I strongly recommend that you control this urge, because the residents will not be too happy with you.

Now, after you sneak back into the town disguised as a mustachioed Elephante... I mean, uh... your regular non-mustachioed self, you should really check out "The Crumpetmonger."

She's not just a fashionably dressed baker... she's the creator of dreams. Between the Chocolate, Blueberry, and Cheese Scones, the Lemon Tarts, and the Cream Puffs... Oh, the Cream Puffs! Anyway, the Crumpetmonger is definitely one of the best bakers in town.

Her shop may be a bit hard to recognize at first. Actually, all the Neovian shops are, with all the fog floating around. Anyway, it has a red awning, with a little cupcake over it. Once you go there a few times, though, you will not need a description.

As I was licking my fingers of the delicious cupcake I'd just consumed, a pale red Techo approached me, and said, "Hello, I'm Alabaster Chesterdrawers and we are having a sale today. You wouldn't be interested, would you?"

I didn't actually know what he was selling, but hey, a sale's a sale, so I decided to follow him. It turned out he was selling antiques, and it also turns out that I have a severe allergy to dust and century-old vases. Most of the prices were extremely high, even for a sale, but some of the furniture was really nice. He's a very persuasive salesman, and eventually I bought a new lamp. Well, it was actually old, but I try, alright?

Printing Press

We have a newspaper, but do we actually have a newsstand? No, we don't. So this Pteri decided she needed to fix that. The Neovian Printing Press it one of the most prestigious and respected newsstands in all Neopia. They sell periodicals ranging from a magazine about how to be successful at the Battledome to the Shenkuu Bulletin, which is hand-written and made out of the finest bamboo stalks.

The miraculous Neopet in charge of this whole operation is a tall, slender, green, Pteri. She graduated Journalism Neoschool at the age of 25 and new she was destined to own her very own newsstand. She worked her way up in the world, starting as a mere columnist for the Neopian Times, then moving on to work in many worlds, for many newspapers. As she worked in all these different places, she began to gain knowledge about each of them. She took this knowledge, moved to Neovia, and became an inspiration to journalists everywhere. *sniffle*

Prigpants and Swolthy

Hmm... these guys seem familiar. One tall, mysterious man and one round, jolly man. Eh, doesn't ring a bell, does it? Prigpants and Swolthy make the most elegant and sophisticated clothes around. Nothing could bring out your features more than a long, ruffled dress or a dark black top hat. These clothes are definitely for the finer class. They are fairly expensive, though. I mean, if you want a truly amazing pair of bloomers, you are going to have to pay a price.

It would also be noted, that Neovia has won many awards on being one of the finest dressed cities in Neopia. Of course, these awards were made possible by Prigpants and Swolthy. Without them, Neovia would be running around in peasant clothes! No middle-upper class town can be dressing like that! The thought is even... ugh!

As I sat alone atop the misty hill overlooking the town, I leaned against a gravestone and thought, "I am sitting above a pile of dirt and a dead body." Once I repositioned myself, I began thinking about the town of Neovia. Remembering the plot days of October to December, I thought about how much Neovia had changed in the past months. They had gotten rid of their mayor and rebuilt practically the whole city, not to mention ridden themselves of a many year old long curse that had basically destroyed the whole town and many families. I thought of Ilere, Sophie, Bruno, and that one annoying little Usul... what was her name? Gilly, that's it. Neovia has certainly changed, my reader; it has certainly changed.

I decided it was time for me to go. Neovia was a great town and all, but I had to go home and make sure Lissadine hadn't been licking the jelly walls of our neohome... again. My mustachioed Elephante disguise was getting a little itchy too. I started picking at my mustache, and it fell off, right as Alabaster was handing me my free Neovia gift bag. "Hey," he exclaimed. "You don't have a mustache at all! And I bet you're not an Elephante either! I bet you are an underpaid journalist for the Neopian Times!"

"Umm... no, actually, I'm paid very well... heh heh... umm..."

Then, an alarm sounded, and trees, gravestones, and shadows emerged from a large building. At this point, I figured it was probably time to run, so I grabbed my gift bag and took off through the tall iron gate. They just don't make mustache glue like they used to.