Invisible Paint Brushes rock Circulation: 136,691,549 Issue: 283 | 16th day of Running, Y9
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Boochi - World Domination


by master_yoda_kenobi

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Boochi laughed to himself from the rosebush as he saw a Darigan Hissi approach him. His victim-to-be seemed upset about something, but that didn’t concern the small baby Bruce at all. Aiming his gun at the distraught neopet, he fired his ray gun, making a loud booming noise. With a spurt of purple light, what was once a Darigan Hissi was now an adorable purple pet. The Hissi’s eyrie friend laughed, seeing what had happened. All the Hissi could do was cry, clearly in infant form. Boochi let out a maniacal laugh of his own as he lowered his gun.

      Suddenly, someone tapped Boochi on the shoulder.

      “Mail order!” a stout little pet called out.

      Boochi clutched his gun protectively. “How... h-how did you know I was here?”

      The mailman only chuckled to himself as he handed Boochi a thin pink envelope.

      “Have a nice day!” the mailman taunted Boochi’s shocked, almost upset mood.

      Boochi snatched the envelope out of the mailman’s hand and stood up. As the mailman walked away, still giggling, Boochi picked up his gun and fired. That would teach him!

      Boochi carefully opened the mail he had received. All he usually received were “thank you”s and complaints. None of which were ever in a pink envelope.

      The letter read:

      To: Boochi

      Where: The Boochi Estate

      When: Shoyru Day at noon

      Why: Because We Love You, That’s Why!

      Hand written on the bottom it read:

      Behave yourself, dear, or we will know!

      Boochi groaned, realizing this was from his family. This clearly was a family reunion. His family had them often, but Boochi wasn’t often invited. The hand-writing he recognized as his mother’s, who Boochi never fully appreciated. He figured he’d better go – not because he wanted to, of course. Maybe he could zap some of his pesky baby cousins into, well – babies. Laughing once again at the thought, he picked up his gun and headed back home.

      Shoyru Day that year was the day after Boochi had received the invitation. The letter had been dated weeks before Shoyru Day. Lousy mail service, Boochi thought as he put the letter down on his small wooden kitchen table. They’re better off with another mailman now anyway.

      Once the reunion came around, Boochi got prepared to go. He combed out his fur and retied his bright red satin bow, trying to look nice. Of course, he brought his ray gun for emergencies and entertainment. Well, entertainment could be found anywhere with Boochi, with or without the gun. It’s given that Boochi didn’t know that.

      As Boochi rang the Boochi Estate doorbell, everyone rushed to the door, crowding around for hugs and kisses. Almost all of his family was painted. By the end of the party, Boochi planned for all of them to be painted. Baby.

      “Boochi! Sweetheart!” Boochi’s rainbow mother called out as she picked him up, giving him a tight hug.

      “Hi, Mom,” Boochi replied quietly, gasping for air.

      “Your father is away on a business trip, but I’ll tell him all about your visit! Ooh!” she squealed. “It’s going to be SOOO much fun today!”

      “I bet,” Boochi answered sarcastically as his feet touched the ground again.

      Next, more family members came out for hugs, all greeting Boochi enthusiastically. All Boochi could hear was his name being called out loudly by voices of all ages.

      “Boochi!”

      “Boochi!”

      “Oh my goodness! Is that Boochi?”

      Clearly, everyone loved him more that he loved them. All of the Bruce clan picked him up and greeted him eccentrically. Luckily, no one saw Boochi’s ray gun. He was holding it in a manner that made it very obvious that he had a weapon in hand, but no one seemed to take any recognition of it.

      “Oh boy,” Boochi muttered to himself sarcastically.

     The one disadvantage to being baby was everyone could pick you up. Although if everyone was baby, that was quite a different story. Yes, quite a different story.

     Suddenly, Boochi’s younger (and invisible) sister came up to him, giving him a great big kiss on the cheek.

     Boochi made a disgusted face. Luckily, he couldn’t see his sister’s reaction to his expression.

     “So, Boochi,” his aunt said. She was often the one to start conversations in the family.

     Boochi was pulled onto a lime green sofa in the Boochi Estate Sitting Room.

     Sinking into a cushion, Boochi replied, “Uh... yes?”

     “How’s life in Neopia Central?”

     She made it sound like Neopia Central was glorious. Where everyone wanted to be.

     “Oh, satisfactory,” Boochi replied coolly.

     “Really? I thought it would be quite exciting. Not half as boring as it is in Terror Mountain,” Boochi’s brother chimed in.

     “Oh no, it’s quite boring there.”

     “Speaking of different places, your grandparents were thinking of moving to Mystery Island for a retirement home. Ever been there yourself?”

     “Uh... maybe once or twice, Mom.”

     “Well, what do you think?” Boochi’s aunt asked.

      “The Tiki Tack Man is really annoying and so is Jhuidah. Oh yeah, and no one can forget the ‘Island Mystic’. I mean, who really believes that stuff anyway?” Boochi went on complaining about the many famed people on Mystery Island in his small squeaky voice.

     “But the beach looks so fabulous and serene!” his mother protested.

     “Yeah? Well, actually I did some of my best work there. There was this Acara and she was pink – I have NO idea on why users like those- then it was SOO hilarious when she-”

     Boochi broke off in mid-sentence. He hadn’t exactly told his family about his business, expecting them to be displeased with his uncaring behavior.

     “What do you do for a living anyway, Boochi?” his great uncle asked as he entered the room.

     “I... uh...”

     “And what is that green thing in your hands, dear?” his mother questioned, squinting at his ray gun.

     “This? Oh... um... I... it’s...” Boochi began, trying to make up something.

     “Yes?”

     “It’s a... codestone. I used to have two, but I uh... donated one to charity. Wonderful charity system in Neopia Central! I usually only get ‘Old Rotten Left Boot’s, but it’s a lot of fun.”

     Okay, Boochi wasn’t good when put on the spot.

     “Dear, there may be red codestones, but there are no green ones. What is that?”

     “A... a ray gun,” Boochi sputtered quickly. His small voice made it quite difficult to decipher what he said.

     “A what, dear?”

     “Uh... Mom? I have to go. Now.”

     “But dear, you just-”

     “Really, I do.”

     “But we haven’t even started the annual dance marathon yet!” his cousins pointed out.

     Although Boochi sometimes liked to watch dancing, he replied, “Another time, okay?”

     Boochi hopped off of the green sofa he was seated on and ran out the door with his ray gun tightly in his pink flipper. Everyone would be better as babies. Crying, helpless, babies. Boochi would be their leader, and they’d somehow get rid of the faeries. Maybe he could banish them all to Kreludor or something. Boochi followers... Boochi fleets... Boochi armies... Boochi kingdoms... Boochi stores... Wars over which species Boochi liked the most...

      The day was still young, and a large group of Nimmos walked by. Cautiously, Boochi hid behind the side of his family’s house. Slowly, he lifted up his gun, grinning to himself. This was only the beginning of world domination.

The End

 
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