Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 136,691,549 Issue: 283 | 16th day of Running, Y9
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Excusive Interview with Bruno!


by lost_hopes_restored

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Hello, everyone! You are about to read my exclusive interview with Bruno. Oh, yes, the Bruno in the Tale of Woe. Still don't know who I'm talking about? Go read a short story. For those who do know who I'm talking about, read on!

I managed to catch the earliest boat going to Neovia (earliest meaning at 5:00 am NST.Uggh!). When I finally got to Neovia, I set out with my note pad, my pen and my compact. (Hey, you never know when some last-minute make-up could come in handy. Especially for a reporter like me!) I went to find the big guy straight away. I knew what I was looking for. A blue Gelert, just like me, only a lot bigger than me (come to think of it, everyone's bigger than me. Curse my petite form!). Anyway, I soon found him and asked him all of my, and the public's, questions. Below is our whole conversation.

Me: Excuse me, sir. Are you Bruno?

Bruno: Aaah!! Please leave me alone, I'll give you anything! I've already dealt with fifty fan girls today, and I don't need anymore!

Me: Err... right. I'm Brianna, and I'm a reporter for the Neopian Times. I'm here to have a small interview with you. Do you mind me asking you a few questions?

Bruno: Oh... erm, no.

Me: Great! Please sit down.

Me: Okay, first question. What was your favorite part of the plot you were in?

Bruno: My favorite part was when Sophie and I were finally reunited.

Me: Can you tell me how it felt to finally be reunited with your sister after ten years?

Bruno: Oh, it felt wonderful! It was a very emotional time for me since I had lived without any loved ones for a very long time.

Me: I see. How did you manage to survive in that cave all those years?

Bruno: Two words: natural instincts. During that decade, my life depended on them. It was all about survival. All I had were my wits and my senses.

Me: Okay... What was your least favorite part of the plot you were in?

Bruno: Eating that nasty, rancid meat, of course. Yech! That taste stayed with me for about two weeks after that... and I can still taste it. It looked pretty nasty, too.

Me: Really? Then if it looked nasty, why did you eat it?

Bruno: Uhh... it was really dark in that cave. Yeah, that’s it!

Me: Right... Any other least favorite parts?

Bruno: Gilly's little trap she set up for me. Very funny, Gilly!! Man, did she set it up well, though. I've still got that bruise on my head... ouch.

Me: Do you think Gilly has forgiven you yet for chasing her in hot pursuit?

Bruno: Why, of course she has! Erm... I think.

Me: So, do you have any feelings for that girl, Lily, anymore?

Bruno: *blushes* Uhh... well... C-can we skip this question?

Me: Of course. Can you tell me a little more about your sister, Sophie?

Bruno: Sure. I know, she may seem like a hot-tempered, evil Ixi. But deep down in there, she's got a heart of gold.

Me (to self): Make that really, REALLY deep...

Bruno: She was always the mischief-maker of the family, and I guess she still is. Sophie would mercilessly tease me, though, about me liking Lily...

Reginald (from the background): Well, it's true!!!

Bruno: ...and Reggie would tease me, too. Why won't everyone get off my case of me liking Lily?! I was sixteen, for cryin' out loud!! She was very pretty, and still is. Not that I'm still...

While he went on about Lily and the teasing he got and yadda, yadda, yadda, I took the time to put on some more make-up; my eyeshadow was starting to fade. After that, I picked up my pad and my pen again and got back to the interview.

Bruno (yes, he's still talking.): ...first it was Oscar beating me up hor...

Me: *yawns* Are you quite finished yet?

Bruno: No, not yet. Now where was I? Oh, yes! First it was Oscar beating me up horribly, then the teasing from my own siblings, now the public is getting nosey!! When will it ever end?! I mean, come on...

Me: Moving on! Moving on... Do you reckon Krawley will be making another appearance any time soon?

Bruno: Oh, he had better not! Just thinking about that deranged Krawk sickens me! Along with the thought of Ilere. One moment, while I go find something to punch...

Me: Sure.

(A few minutes later...)

Me: Feel better?

Bruno: Yes, much.

Me: Good! Now...

Bruno: You call this a 'small' interview?

Me: Hold on, it's almost over. Now then, has anyone run away or just gotten scared of your form before actually getting to know you? And did it ever embarrass you?

Bruno: Jumping jelly Chias, yes! People used to freak out all the time when first meeting me. That is, of course, before those fan girls started drooling over me. Strangely, though, it's never really embarrassed me. I guess I'm just used to it, that's all.

Me: Now tell me about life in Neovia. What's it like to live in good old Neovia?

Bruno: Personally, there's no other place I'd rather be. There's something about it that's just so homey and welcoming. The town isn't anything too fancy, yet you feel... oh, I don't know, just so... wanted. The warmness of the welcome you get just makes you want to stay and come back. With the exception of all the cheerleaders and fan girls who are out to find me. Help!

Me: I'd bet you didn't feel very welcome when those Neovians chased you away while trying to get you.

Bruno: No, I didn't. *chuckles* Now it’s the fan girls who are after me!

Me: Very interesting to hear. Well, thank you very much for your time, Mr. Bruno.

Bruno: My pleasure.

There's my interview for you! I hope you enjoyed it! Uh-oh... uh, hey Bruno! Look out for those cheerleaders; they’re about to pile up on you! Oops. Too late!

Bye!

 
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