Battle Quills... ready! Circulation: 136,210,130 Issue: 282 | 9th day of Running, Y9
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The Koi Party


by mystery_island111223

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“No, that’s where Neopia Central is!” Apoc, the Christmas Bori pointed at the piece of paper. “Do you see it now?”

      “This is just a guess,” said Min, Apoc’s yellow Tonu brother. “But maybe we should put our new plan on dominating Neopia on something other than a used dinner napkin!” Apoc’s snow Kookith Cheeky made a ‘meep’ in agreement.

      “Nah, what could go wrong? So here’s where our laser will go-” Apoc was interrupted by his brother, a blue Koi by the name of Jay.

      “Thanks!” Jay took the paper, blew his nose on it, and threw it in the garbage bin. “My nose was runny!”

      “See, that would be an example right there,” noted Min.

      “NOOOO!!!” screamed Apoc and dove for the wastebasket, only to be caught by his owner.

      “Apoc, I really don’t want to know what you were just doing, so I won’t ask. Nevertheless, let’s go. We all have to go upstairs right away!”

      “Why?” asked Min.

      “Jay’s having a party. He’s a little worried we might embarrass him so I told him we’d all be upstairs and out of his way!”

      “You don’t care about Jay in the least. Why go to all this trouble?” asked Apoc.

      “Meep!” went Cheeky in agreement.

      “Firstly, I care very deeply about Jay, and want to respect his wishes. Secondly, he said he’d tell Defenders of Neopia about what I’ve got hidden in the shed!” MI smiled.

      “You mean the-” Apoc was cut off by Jay.

      “Great, thanks again, MI. Now then, all of you get upstairs; the guests will be here soon!” Jay ushered them all upstairs.

      “Come on, MI!” Apoc cried. “Assert your parental authority here!”

      “Okay!” cried MI. “Do you mean like I should stop letting you and Min cause chaos without any discipline? Or how I shouldn’t let you try to take over Neopia twice a day? Stuff like that?”

      “No,” said Apoc quickly. “I don’t mean anything like that!”

      Soon Apoc, Min and Cheeky were in Min’s room pacing.

      “Well, Min, what can we do?” Apoc sighed. “We need to get that paper back!”

      “Why don’t we just sneak downstairs and get it?” Min asked. “There must be thirty pets down there. Nobody would notice!”

      “One problem,” began Apoc. “Jay’s holding a Koi party. That means he’s only inviting Koi. A Bori or Tonu would stick out!”

      “That’s it!” Apoc suddenly jumped. “We’ll dress up as a Koi, enter the party undetected, take the paper, and escape!”

      “Why don’t we just wait until the party’s over?” Min asked.

      “I know!” a voice from the party was heard. “In forty minutes, let’s take all the stuff in the wastebasket to the Rubbish Dump, where it will rot forever. Won’t that be fun?”

      “You know what this means!” Apoc cried.

      “Koi have strange senses of what’s fun?” Min asked.

      “Well, that too! But mainly, we’ve got to hurry!”

      So Apoc and Min began working. They made a blue Koi figure out of Magical Battle Paste and old issues of the Neopian Times. Within twenty minutes they were ready.

      “Min? Change of plans, Cheeky can’t be the one in the suit. We had a few problems!” Apoc cried.

      “What problems?” asked Min.

      “Namely, he insists on going ‘meep’. That turns a few heads. Also, he made an accident!”

      “You’re implying that I am to cram myself into a suit made for a Kookith that already contains... other things?” Min screeched. “Sure, I’ll do it!”

      After cleaning the suit a little, Min made his way downstairs, only to be confronted by Licorice, Jay’s trusty Tyrannian Bearog. Licorice barked.

      “Apoc!” cried Min. “We have a problem!”

      “Don’t worry!” Apoc threw a piece of Salmon Steak at the petpet. All three of Licorice’s heads went for it. The heads collided, knocking the Bearog out. Min waved to Apoc, and proceeded.

      As Min entered the living room he saw Jay stand up to make an announcement.

      “I’ve got an idea, everyone!” he cried. “Let’s play who-can-hold-their-breath-underwater-the-longest!”

      “Since we’re Koi, it’ll be really easy!” laughed a green Koi next to Min.

      “Let’s start right now!” a grey Koi said, as he pushed a big tub of water into the room. Everyone cheered. Min laughed weakly.

      “Wait!” cried Min nervously. “Doesn’t that seem a bit boring?”

      “What are you talking about?” Jay cried. “It’s the best game us Koi have ever thought up!”

      “Aren’t you - I mean, we - supposed to be extremely clever and inventive?” Min asked.

      “Yes and - wait everybody, it’s 8:03!” All the Koi cheered. Min cheered too, although he wasn’t sure what he was cheering for.

      “Everyone knows what that means! It’s the most important ritual us Koi ever have thought up! Everybody, grab the heads of someone next to you and pull!” Jay laughed. Min stared in shock at the sheer irony of these games. But he didn’t stare for long, as a white Koi nearby smiled and lifted the head of Min’s costume right off.

      Min smiled at the many astonished Koi throughout the room.

      Meanwhile Apoc was upstairs petting Cheeky.

      “I’m worried, Cheeky. Min should’ve come back by now. What if they found him out?”

      “Meep,” went Cheeky.

      Apoc turned to see his owner dancing in the hall.

      “What are you doing?” Apoc asked.

      “Me?” MI turned. “Well, I promised Jay I would spend the night upstairs. However there aren’t any bathrooms up here. You can guess the rest!”

      “Meep!” went Cheeky.

      “Hey that’s a good idea, Cheeky!” MI smiled.

      “Wait!” cried Apoc. “Why exactly can’t you go down and stop the party?”

      “Apoc, you know why. Jay would expose what I’ve got hidden in the shed!”

      Apoc smiled. A plan came to mind.

      “Okay, Cheeky,” Apoc instructed his petpet. “I have a Queela Bomb strapped to you. What you need to do is go out to the shed, throw the bomb in and run for it. Any evidence of what MI hid in there will be gone, Jay’s power over MI will end, and we’ll get those plans!”

      “Meep!” cried Cheeky happily and ran off.

      Meanwhile Min was fleeing the mob of angry Koi. He was panting, they were gaining on him, when a large explosion rocked the neohome.

      “Meep!” cried Cheeky, running in triumphantly.

      “Meep indeed!” Through the smoke that emerged as a result of the explosion, Apoc stepped up to face the mob. “Jay, your power has ended. The shed is destroyed, and with it any records of MI’s-”

      “It’s 8:03!” shouted a baby Koi. The Koi picked up the wastebasket. Apoc dove for it and grabbed it. He took out the paper and fell to the floor dazed.

      “We did it!” cried Min.

      “I’ll say you did!” cried MI, emerging from the smoke. “You destroyed the shed!”

      Jay smiled and turned to Apoc.

      “Now you’re going to get in trouble! Destroying the-”

      “I couldn’t be happier!” MI smiled.

      “What!?!” cried Apoc, Min, Jay, everyone except Cheeky, who was taking this moment to raid the kitchen.

      “You see, Apoc, when you destroyed the shed, you helped me turn my back on what I was building out there! You helped me get past that and move onto other things!”

      “Like what?” Min asked.

      “This!” MI tackled Jay. “You jerk! You blackmailing jerk!” Jay began to fight back. MI responding by flinging Jay’s unconscious petpet at him. Unfortunately this unconscious petpet took this precise moment to wake up, and decided to join into the frenzy by biting his owner’s face.

      Suddenly the door flew open and a fire Grarrl by the name of ApocClone, the fourth brother of Apoc, Min, and Jay stepped in. He had been at a friend’s house that night and had just gotten home. ApocClone surveyed the scene. Jay and MI fighting. Apoc and Min kissing a piece of garbage. Strange smoke everywhere.

      “What is going on!?!” ApocClone screamed. He whipped out his Fire Rock Helmet and tried to stop the commotion by firing it at the fighting pair.

      Unfortunately for him, the chemicals in the smoke didn’t react well with the fire. Namely, they caused another explosion, much larger than the first.

      Apoc came to quite dazed, and began to survey the charred room. He turned to Min, who was holding the charred remains of their paper. He then turned to ApocClone, who decided to go back to his friend’s house. He turned to MI, who was still attacking the unconscious Jay. Finally he turned to Cheeky, who was still raiding the kitchen, unaware as to what had just happened.

      “Well, Min, I think we learned something important today!” Apoc turned to his brother.

      “Our plans end in failure? We shouldn’t have put the plan on old napkins in the first place? Cheeky needs to be housebroken?”

      “Nope!” laughed Apoc. “We learned that if you don’t succeed, try again! Do you have another napkin?”

The End

 
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