A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll! Circulation: 134,591,299 Issue: 278 | 9th day of Awakening, Y9
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Fanmail for Jhudora


by star_29791

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Jhudora was sitting on her throne sulking. What was new? But today she had extra reason to sulk. Today was Jhudora Day. Now, if she were that goody-goody Illusen, she’d be handing out free cookies shaped as her head. However, Jhudora was Jhudora, not Illusen so she liked to, for want of a better word, celebrate (ahem) her day by sulking. After all, what was there to celebrate?

      She had to endure the embarrassment of having a day for starters. She was the evillest faerie of all yet the great rulers of Neopia (TNT) insisted on giving her evilness a special day to celebrate what exactly? Her evilness? What happened to run and hide from evil? Oh well, she got off lightly. Dr. Sloth actually had a Sloth Appreciation Day. At least, hers was just Jhudora Day. She shuddered at the thought of a Jhudora Appreciation Day. She didn’t want to be appreciated. She wanted to cause terror and panic.

      There wasn’t much else to be happy about. She had to think of a bunch of useless quests for the no good Neopians who came to get a gawp at her and mostly never finished the quests. She had to tolerate those irksome, giggling light faeries who came annually every year to throw confetti outside her front door. Who knew what they’d be throwing this year? Cupcakes and cookies?

      But the thing she dreaded most were the bags and bags of mail she received on this day. This year she had gotten more than ever. Fyora had caught her trying to burn her mail last year and had forbidden it. Hello? Earth to Fyora. Jhudora was supposed to burn her mail. It was evil. So to make sure she didn’t this year, Fyora had sent over a vain and pompous air faerie called Felicity to help her go through her mail. She was now sitting a little way away from Jhudora sorting through the first bag of mail.

      ‘Perhaps I could turn her into a Mortog,’ Jhudora thought, cackling quietly.

      Felicity looked up, a frown on her face.

      “Jhudora, I must tell you that I have a very important trip to make to the Grooming Parlour later on to get this wonderful shampoo –” She stopped at the look on Jhudora’s face. “Anyway, I need to finish up here quickly. If it weren’t for Fyora, I wouldn’t be here and frankly I –”

      Jhudora mimicked her voice. “Blah blah blah! If I had my way, you wouldn’t be here either!” she snapped.

      “Well, hurry up and read those letters and then I won’t! Fyora requests that you read at least one bag.”

      “I’m sick of Fyora. Why should I read them?”

      “Because all these Neopians took their time to write to you.”

      “Not my problem they wasted their own time, is it?”

      Felicity sighed and turned around.

      Jhudora pulled at face at Felicity’s back. She gingerly took the neat pile of letters Felicity had put on the arm of her throne and feeling the last little ebb of evil she felt today fade away, she opened the first envelope.

     **

     Subject: evill

     Message: U R EVIIL! Go away coz ur so mean to illusen n all those other neopets

     **

      Jhudora sighed. It was the same every year. She’d get a ton of letters from pathetic Neopians who couldn’t even spell, crying about how she bullied poor Illusen.

      She opened the next green envelope.

     **

     Subject: For you, my friend

     Message:

     Dear my best friend Jhudora,

      Happy Jhudora Day! Have a fantastic day!

     Yours Sincerely,

     Illusen ^_^

     **

      Jhudora scowled and tore up the letter. Illusen was far from the nice, innocent little faerie she pretended to be. Only a million more letters to go...

     **

     Subject: judora day

     Message: U smell

     **

     Subject: can i have a paintbrush?

     Message: I would like a royal paintbrush thanks

     **

     Subject: Illusen

     Message: I’d like to say I find your behaviour appalling. You terrify my youngest daughter. My other daughter is running around trying to be you. Last week she dyed her fur purple! What sort of an example do you set for young children? Now, my most well behaved daughter likes Illusen – she is an excellent role model. Perhaps you should try to be more like her.

     **

     Subject: age

     Message: how old r u? Im not telling u my age though

     **

     Subject: OMG!

     Message: If you are reading this OMG! I love you so much Jhudora! OMG its actually OMG! I’m your biggest fan EVER! OMG! I can’t believe you’re going to read this! Reply please!

     **

     Subject: Quest

     Message: I did a quest which cost A LOT and you didn’t give me a prize. I think it was level 3. Please send it ASAP.

     **

     Subject: food

     Message: I like carrots. What do you like?

     **

     Subject: Clothes

     Message: Do you ever change your clothes? I mean, you must change once in a while, right? Or you’d stink... although that’s probably why you’re a bit green round the edges. Anyway it’s just I can’t decide whether to come to your cloud to get a quest because I’d really rather not have to leave smelling like a mouldy cabbage. I suppose I could go to the Snow Faerie’s. Yeah. I’ll do that. So really, this mail was a waste of time. I’ll send it anyway. Good day.

     **

     Subject: To Jhudora

     Message:

     Dear Jhudora,

      Hello! My name is Jess and I’m a green Uni. I live in Neopia Central but I’ve seen you around Faerieland on a few occasions when I visit the Employment Agency or the Healing Springs. I would visit your cloud but I’m forbidden which I’m distraught about. It’s nothing against you personally. It’s because once I went to Illusen and she wanted me to do a quest, which was very expensive. My owner banned me from any sort of quests after I bled our bank account dry.

      Anyway I’m a huge fan of yours! I drew a picture of us together in class when I was supposed to be doing a spelling test. It was really good – my best yet. But Miss Kolinsky saw it and took it from me. Oh well. I drew another one and although it’s not as good as the first, I’ve put it up on my bedroom wall. I would send it to you, but I’m sure this letter would be fine.

      My best friend, Ash, was talking about you in the playground. She was saying horrible things like how you bully Illusen and are really horrible to Neopets but I thought that someone like you could never be that cruel. I shouted at her and now she’s not my friend anymore. Everyone says I’m crazy for liking you but I don’t care.

      I don’t see why people should say things like that about someone they don’t know. I mean, I’m sure you wouldn’t automatically assume that I’m just some little Uni with too much time on her hands so that’s why I’m writing this to you. Well, actually it’s my sixth copy. The first two were really messy. The third one I accidentally ripped. I spilt my drink on the fourth and the fifth I wrote in brown ink, which I thought would offend you seeing as it’s kind of Illusen’s colour. So I hope this one turns out OK!

      I hope you have a great day and maybe one day I’ll finally get to meet you.

     Yours Faithfully,

     Jess

     **

      Jhudora looked up. It was too much. She could feel her emotions all flooding up to her eyes. No one had ever written her such a nice neomail in the history of Neopia. Never had she opened a neomail expecting it to be friendly. The emotions had reached her eyes and were threatening to spill over.

      At that moment Felicity looked up and with a gasp of shock inquired what was wrong. Jhudora held out the letter and concentrated on keeping her emotions back as she waited for Felicity to read it.

      A little while later, Felicity looked up with an expression of bewilderment.

      “This... this is... lovely,” she said. “It’s really nice. You should write back - I’ve noticed you don’t get many nice neomails. Oh Jhudora, see, someone out there does like you. You just have to –“

      Jhudora glared at Felicity. Felicity, however, seemed to be oblivious to it. She was beaming at Jhudora.

      “It was so lovely. I bet you’re really happy about it,” she went on.

      Tears were suddenly pouring down Jhudora’s face and her emotions came whooshing out like they’d been bottled up for years.

      “I DON’T WANT IT TO BE NICE!” she roared.

      Felicity jumped.

      “I AM AN EVIL FAERIE! EVIL! THAT PATHETIC LITTLE NEOPIAN WILL SUFFER!”

      Felicity started screaming and running for the door.

      “I WANT EVERYONE TO FEAR ME!”

      There was a flash of light, a bang, a crack and a croak and suddenly there wasn’t a Felicity anymore. Instead there was just a Mortog, leaping up and down frantically.

      “That felt good.” Jhudora sighed. “She was annoying me.”

The End

Author's Note: The moral of this story - Jhudora is evil! Hope you liked it! Neomails appreciated. ^_^

 
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