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An Open Letter From Fyora


by bobafeis

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An open letter from Fyora, Queen of the Faeries, to all of Neopia (as transcribed by bobafeis):

Greetings, my darling Neopians. It’s good to see so many of you looking well! Oh, cutie352829357972392831, thank you so much for your help getting my Nadia the Peophin of Love! I know I thanked you when you gave me the Nadia the Peophin of Love, but I’m not sure your pet’s stat increases really helped you to understand the depth of my gratitude.

Now that that’s taken care of, let’s get down to business. You may wonder why I am writing this letter. Well, there is something occurring in Neopia these days that disturbs me quite a bit. A number of Neopians have been getting items, either through random events or from my own Hidden Tower shop, and selling them at Hidden Tower prices, or even higher!

Now, to be honest, I don’t really understand why they are doing this, but I do wish they would stop. I am the Faerie Queen, not some discount wholesaler! Every time you buy something from the Hidden Tower and then turn around and sell it at a higher price, you are not only insulting your fellow Neopians, you are insulting me! Trust me, I don’t like being insulted.

You see, there are many reasons people come to the Hidden Tower. I’m sure you know them already, but here are just a few:

1) You get an avatar free with your first purchase. It’s my way of thanking Neopians for buying from my shop.

2) It’s an easy transaction. The shopkeeper (me!) says hello, and then you buy your item. It’s that simple! No haggling, no worries that the item will run out, just a simple click (provided you have the neopoints, of course). You don’t have to worry about setting up an auction if the item is in trades, and you don’t have to worry about someone outbidding you if the item is being auctioned.

3) The shopkeeper is me! Now, I love all you Neopians out there, but the fact is that there are so many of you that I can’t spend time with each and every one of you. Quests are well and good, but those are hardly enough communication for us to really get to know each other. Going to the Hidden Tower means that not only can I spend time with you, but you can spend time with me, one of Neopia’s most popular celebrities!

So, there you have it. A list of reasons to buy from the Hidden Tower. And now, a list of reasons to buy from you, for the same price.

1)

Oh. Dear. Well, you accept items, and I don’t. I suppose that might be something, although too many of you make a big deal about easy-to-sell items. If they’re easy to sell, then there’s no point in paying in items, is there?

So, why are people insulting me by selling items at such high prices? I really don’t know, but I have two ideas. The first is that some people don’t really understand restocking. I’m sure many of you have done that: you buy something from a shop and then sell it at a higher price in your own shop. That works because the items in regular shops can run out, so there’s no place where the average Neopian can buy it cheaper. Things never run out in the Hidden Tower, so buying something there and then reselling it higher? I have to paraphrase my friend Farmer Follies and say RESTOCKING DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! Maybe you’re confused, or maybe you just bought something from me because you wanted that avatar or you just wanted to say hi. Either way, the Hidden Tower is not some discount store, and I’m not some discount store worker!

The only other explanation I can think of is that some of you are just plain greedy! Now, we all get that urge to see how much we can convince someone else to pay for our items once in a while (well, I never do, as all my items are quite fairly priced), but let’s face it, enough is enough! I’m fed up with this.

Remember, I’m the Faerie Queen. If you keep this up, things might happen to you beyond simply not selling your items. What? You were wondering why your items weren’t selling? Maybe reread the first bit of my letter, see if that helps you.

Now, would you like Illusen to start asking you for unbuyable items every quest? She can, you know. You’ll never get the honey potion if you keep this up. And Faerie Quests? Hah! You can forget about ever getting another one of those! Of course, I should mention the quite extraordinary Battledome skills of both the Battle and Space Faeries.

Now, I would never set all of my faerie subjects after you, just like you would never intentionally try to humiliate me or cheat your fellow Neopians, right? Right. So let’s all be reasonable here.

P.S. Remember, the Hidden Tower gives an avatar away free with your first purchase! Make sure to stop by and see me!

P.P.S. The Faerieland Bookshop sells any number of books about me that I’m sure you’ll all find simply fascinating! If you can’t afford my shop just yet, try picking up one of those books and reading all about me. It’s not quite as good as the real thing, but I promise, any book about me is worth reading!

P.P.P.S. Special thanks to those darlings at the Neopian Times for running this letter! They are simply marvelous, aren’t they?

P.P.P.P.S. Cutie352829357972392831, I just wanted to say thank you one more time. You and all those other neopians are such a help with all those quests my faeries and I keep giving to you! One day I’m sure we’ll let you know what all these items are really being used for!

And now, I am going to go get my hair redyed because those grays are starting to show again—wait, bobafeis, you can stop writing this down now. Make sure you remember to edit this last part out before you send it in to the Times, okay. Good. Now, off to the hairdresser.

 
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