Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 113,881,443 Issue: 159 | 24th day of Gathering, Y6
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100 Crazy and Creative Uses for the Lab Ray


by precious_katuch14

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SECRET LABORATORY – Here I am once again…but this time, I’m not going to talk you through the great stuff the Lab Ray can do. Now, I’ll start listing down some nifty uses for this little (hang on, it’s not little!) invention. Go ahead and start reading! You know you want to…really badly…

100. Use the lab ray to roast your raw potatoes (and risk turning them into tomatoes…but what the heck?)

99. It’s quicker than waiting for Boochi to zap your pet into a baby, right? Why bother asking such a silly question?

98. Point it at Kreludor and see if it’ll turn into cheese

97. What if your Neohome was made out of cheese? Point the lab ray at it and find out…

96. Let’s have a cooking session and turn fudge into sludge…and back again! Won’t that be fun?

95. Point it at me, so that I’ll come up with more ideas. (But who says you can catch me?)

94. Just make an interesting light show to impress your pals.

93. Zap Jeran so he’ll be even stronger and mightier than he already is.

92. Poor Lisha…stuck with that flimsy-looking shield…let’s take it to the lab and zap it into something even better!

91. Earn Neopoints by donating it to Sloth as a nice gizmo to help him take over Neopia.

90. Zap #91, because how can you earn cash when you donate?

89. Let’s see what’ll happen if we zap Lord Kass and turn him into a little pink Kacheek…

88. Reverse the effects of Mutant Day…in case it comes again and turns everyone’s pets into mutants all over again.

87. Hate some pet revamps? Go ahead and zap the ones you hate…but watch out, the staff’s coming to get you for it! (And not me…)

86. Turn your common and cheap plushies into rare and more expensive toys and then make a profit!

85. Zap #85 to get rid of the extra ands that were added in an attempt to have perfect grammar.

84. Zap your enemy’s pet into [insert enemy’s most hated pet species and color here].

83. Turn your pets into glowing ones, so that they’ll never get lost at night and serve as your nightlights.

82. Want a good user-lookup? Go ahead and zap it!

81. Go to the Neoboards and zap random people, so that they swap chat avatars! (This is going to be a real riot when you’re dealing with RARE avatars…)

80. Turn mutant pets into faerie, and faerie into Darigan, Darigan to Royal, and Royal to mutant! (Whoa…big confusion…you could be run right out of Neopia if you do this!)

79. Fool your friends into thinking there’s a big lightning storm outside, so they won’t have to go home, and you can have a big sleepover while waiting for the “storm” to pass! Don’t forget the pretend rain to complete the effect!

78. Zap the Hidden Tower so it isn’t hidden anymore. Watch Fyora’s jaw drop…

77. …And zap Fyora too, so she turns into a grey faerie.

76. Zap Illusen and Jhudora so they swap outfits (and hopefully, personalities!)

75. Zap that Grundo thief from Freaky Factory. Hopefully that’s the last time he sets foot in the factory!

74. Delete the Neoboard posts you didn’t want to make in the first place!

73. Turn your common avatars into rare, unique ones, show them off and watch the avatar collectors’ jaws drop and eyes pop out!

72. Do #73, only with UNRELEASED avatars. But the staff will also get you for this…

71. Zap your terrible artwork and hopefully it’ll be better…

70. Blast thieves into oblivion and teach them that no one except you should touch your stuff!

69. Try fiddling around with it so it turns your pets into unreleased specie-color combos. (And yes, the staff will also kill you for this.)

68. Zap a petpetpet into a different color.

67. Just toast your bread.

66. Or bake cookies.

65. Or cook some new dishes for your pets.

64. Create some new world in Neopia and become famous for it.

63. Let the lab ray zap YOU and turn into a famous Neopian AND watch the fans crowd!

62.

61. What? I used the lab ray to zap #62 invisible. I’m sorry, but the ray is completely random. I wanted it to have glowing shadowy font!

60. Zap your font on the Neoboards and you will the only one with glowing shadowy font!

59. Need effective lighting for your Neohome? This’ll come in handy, so just attach it to the ceiling of your Neohome.

58. Use it to make your food taste better. For example, blast your most hated food into your most favorite food in Neopia!

57. When you zap your pet, keep his/her petpet in his/her backpack, so when the pet gets zapped, so will the petpet.

56. Give your pet the powers of imagination as you blast his/her mind!

55. One word: BBQ.

54. Just blast random stuff to blow off some steam when you’re angry.

53. Bring it to school for show-and-tell (and zap the class bully, too…)

52. Tired of waiting for Neoschools? Blast random stuff, hoping that the ray will turn them into Neoschools!

51. Point it at the Doc and demand that you want to use the ray more than twice a day.

50. Reverse the effects of Slorg Flakes.

49. Reverse the effects of Chia flour.

48. Reverse the effects of random events that change your pet’s color.

47. Reverse the effects that this article has on your poor, sane mind.

46. Reverse the effects of the monotony of the past 5 sentences.

45. Pass it off as a science experiment.

44. Can you say, “Battledome”?

43. Turn your rejected Neopian Times submission, hoping it’ll get accepted this time.

42. Zap your cheese. I don’t know if it’ll taste better, but try it anyway.

41. Point it at the Pant Devil the next time he tries to pull a fast one on you.

40. Turn your petpets into more evil-looking petpets so that you can take over Neopia – I mean, impress your friends.

39. This’ll make an excellent reading lamp…

38. Blast some of the people who annoy you all the time!

37. Blast a n00b or two, if they bug you.

36. Get your revenge on the evil denizens of Neopia by zapping them all into cutesy little [insert cute and fluffy specie-color combo here].

35. Zap all that Meridell dung into Faerie food and other exotic foods.

34. Use ray zap to grammar sentence and better make.

33. You tired of Wet Snowballs? Turn them into free Attack Peas!

32. Threaten your pets the next time they try to sneak some chocolate in between meals.

31. Stand underneath the lab ray when you’re sleepy! It’s like coffee, only it gives you a bigger jolt!

30. Blast Kat for nearly killing you with her ideas.

29. Threaten Jhuidah to come up with paint brush recipes like a Faerie Baby paint brush!

28. Or just keep zapping with the lab ray in case something happens and you actually get a Faerie Baby pet!

27. After reaching a mere 'Pathetic' on the Test Your Strength game, point the Lab Ray at Arnold's face to see who's REALLY pathetic.

26. Fool the Doc by taking the lab ray apart and hiding parts all over Neopia. Watch him try to complete the lab ray!

25. Blast the Random Event generator so you get tons of free stuff!

24. Hang on, is there a Random Event generator in the first place? Never mind, just make one with the lab ray.

23. Blast your piles of dung into something like…Dung paint brushes!

22. Forget whacking Kass…let’s all Blast-a-Kass!

21. The next time Sloth blasts your stuff into sludge, point this at him and maybe he’ll stop.

20. Zap a pattern on the Neohome wall and call it, “modern art”.

19. Eat it. Lab rays taste good…do they?

18. Rig it so it turns your friends’ pets automatically into the species and colors they want!

17. Use it to light your fire-based weapons.

16. Zap Boochi, so for once, he gets a taste of his own medicine and grows up!

15. Burn evil lawn gnomes with it!

14. Aim it again at the Hidden Tower and give everyone free HT items!

13. Turn your cheap and common TCG cards into rare and expensive TCG cards!

12. Somehow connect the lab ray to your front door. Then you’ll never have to worry about door-to-door salesmen again.

11. Evil teachers bugging you? Let’s see how they like being blasted into bits!

10. Find some victims – I mean, customers – and start a nice grooming parlor!

9. Use it as a threat against the Neopets staff to get the Sloth Plot back up.

8. Zap the Hannah Plot, and see if it turns into a Sloth Plot.

7. Two words: PWNED AVATAR.

6. Play a trick on your friends and see them get blasted!

5. Turn yourself invisible so you can hide from your angry friends after you do #6.

4. Turn all Weewoos into white! What? There isn’t anything wrong with white Weewoos, right?

3. Get all those species-related avatars real easy.

2. Show off your lovely pet’s colors to anyone who’d listen to you.

1. Just show off your pet’s colors AND stats to anyone who’d listen to you.

Heck, I guess that’s a hundred uses for the gizmo we know as the Lab Ray. Wonder what’ll happen if the deranged and demented doc from the lab reads this? Would he run me out of here or just laugh his head off and not notice that the lab ray is turned on and pointing towards him…

Uh-oh. This is Kat, signing off, before the scientist finds out what I did…

 
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