The Day Turmaculus Ate ME!!
My momma always told me to stay away from the Turmaculus. “He’s the king of the Petpets,” she’d say. I’d always reply, “King? What king sleeps aaaallll day long?” She was always unable to reply. After all, I was right. The Great King stunk, big time and I don’t mean bodily odor. But anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I?
My name is Ailsing. I’m a cute lil’ fire Magaral. I’m one of the many children of Aislenn. I was just lucky enough to be the first to get her name. My momma is a born worrier.
“It’s too cold outside Ailsing, put on a scarf.” Right….as if I wouldn’t be warm with all my luscious fur.
“Your ears will freeze in this weather.” It’s not like I was wearing a hat or anything.
“Get back in this house and remove those colors!” I just wanted to be different, and no, I am so not the black sheep of my family. That’s Bob’s job. He’s a pirate. But that’s another story.
“Ailsing, you eat your dinner!” Moms, all they do is nag. Anyway, back to my story. I realize we’re getting off the beaten track. I’m the firstborn from a large family of ten children. My dad’s name is Firenze. Personally, I think he got his name changed when he was painted. Again, that’s another story, isn’t it? We live in Meridell. I know, it’s an odd place to find a group of Magarals, but hey, a home’s a home, right?
I was always the adventurous one in my family. I loved to roam. And by the way, I have a chronic case of pranktosis. I can never let a good prank go to waste. I really loved annoying what’s his face down at Meri Acre Farms. He owns that pick your own place. Me, I’d rather slip under the fence and get a free meal. But, sssh, don’t tell him I said that, ‘cause then he’ll really come after me. I also enjoyed harassing Alton Moughbry , the potato counter host, by yelling out the number of potatoes to the tourists. He once made me eat the bag of potatoes. There were two hundred in that particular bag. Needless to say, I hate potatoes. I was also banned from the castle. King Skarl did not appreciate my attempt to make him smile. Neither did Kayla but it wasn’t my fault that her potions were mislabeled and I gave the cook the sneezing brew instead of the salt. It definitely wasn’t my fault that everyone in the castle sneezed for two days straight. There I go, off track once again. Anwyay, the thing is most people in Meridell knew to stay away from me. Too bad I didn’t know to stay away from them….
It all started one beautiful day in Meridell. At least for me it was. I had finished hounding Sinsi for the day. She still can’t believe I solved her puzzle thingy. I had also jumped down the Symol hole for the day. I still don’t understand why it’s there. I never find anything down there. I had also already melted the cheese at the cheese roller shop. I know that particular shopkeeper dislikes me…immensely. I had nothing left to do for the day…until I saw him.
There he lay in all his snoring glory!!! Inspiration struck, and so, my plans began. For a month, Meridell was prank-free. Needless to say, they all got edgy, just waiting for my next move. Had I cared, I would have found it hilarious. But I didn’t, I was focusing on my one main goal. Waking…the king…up. Not the King of Meridell, just the Petpet king. I put together many of my evil plans from the past as I tried to come up with something that would definitely wake him up. I went down to his resting spot every day to record what others did. I saw him kicked, hit with a stick, screamed at, serenaded by pots and pans, sneezed on, and last but not least, cold water was dumped on him. All of these actions were greeted with sleepy grunts, snorts, grumbles, groans and even once a move! But never did he wake up. So I bided my time.
I confided with Bob, my wayward brother. He warned me away, saying that the king was notorious for eating Petpets who woke him. Ha! As if that could really happen. So, I ignored his advice seeing as it wasn’t what I wanted. I traveled to Neopia Central to see if there was anything that I could use in my insidious plot there. Sadly, there wasn’t. But there was an annoying Petpet catcher who hunted me for three days until he gave up. It could have been the ghosts that went after him. I believe however that it was the itching powder combined with the irrational attacking swarms of Petpetpets. Sssh…there’s this odd thing that attracts them.
I returned to Meridell, and then, my plan began. I started a fire right below his foot and camped out there. For five days, my bonfire got bigger and hotter and even bigger. I cooked my meals over it and was kept warm through the nights. Sadly, the king wasn’t affected by the odd heat under his foot.
Afterwards, I did the silliest thing that I could think of and poured a jar of pepper down his nose. He woke up then! It was spectacular! Turmaculus sat there sneezing and coughing and wheezing and I couldn’t help but laugh. And laugh I did. Loudly. When the Turmaculus got over his sneezing fit, he looked around to see who was laughing at him. Spotting me, he asked if I had seen who had woken him up. I told him that I had. He nodded sagely and motioned me closer. Being the brave Magaral that I was, I walked over to him. Imagine my surprise when he grabbed me between his great claws and swallowed me! It was horrible! I won’t tell you what I went through in his mouth, but I will tell you this. It seemed that the fire paint I wore constantly annoyed his throat. The Turmaculus spit me out! I ran home without looking back.
Ever since that day, I don’t go near the Turmaculus. He truly is the king of the Petpets. After all, you don’t see me trying to eat Petpets do ya? I also don’t go near Illusen…but that’s only because I dyed her hair pink, accidentally. I prank the neighbors occasionally too. I also always listen to Bob. After all, he did tell me that Turmaculus ate Petpets, didn’t he? I also hope you people see my sign whenever you send your poor, poor, unsuspecting Petpets to wake the Turmaculus up. It says quite clearly:
CAUTION!!!! KEEP ALL HANDS, PAWS, WINGS, TOES, AND CLAWS CLEAR EXCEPT WITH FOOD AND THE ABILITY TO RUN LIGHTNING FAST!!! THE KING WILL EAT ALL UNSUSPECTING PETPETS!!!!
This means you too!
And yeah, I know you’re all rolling your eyes and thinking I made this up. And people back home all probably are shaking their heads and saying; “It’s another one of Ailsing’s jokes. Let’s just act like we didn’t read this.” But it’s okay; after all, I am trying to warn you, aren’t I?