The Truth About Scarblade
Recently, I reread the Maraqua plot, purely out of a lack of things to do. But
afterwards, there was still one question that was haunting me: Why did Scarblade
want to destroy Maraqua in the first place? He may be nasty, but he did not seem
nasty enough to destroy entire civilizations because he was bored. Although the
entire plot made Scarblade seem like an evil tyrant, what if he had some reason?
So I figured the Maraquans must have done something to bug him. I decided to set
out to find the reason Scarblade had destroyed Maraqua in the first place. Also
because I did not have anything better to do.
My first stop for information was the old news. After searching through months
and months, I found some information about the underwater city. Eagerly, I read
that Maraqua really HAD been a place in Neopia, before the whole plot came out.
Skipping ahead, I got to the destruction of Maraqua. Apparently, it had been
destroyed in a giant whirlpool of doom. Scrolling down the page, I saw that
pirates had been seen around the place about the time of the destruction. Excited,
I clicked on the link, bringing me to- the About Us page. I tried the link again
and again, but it seemed as though Neopets had destroyed it.
Now suspicious, I hurried over to the Neopedia. Typing in 'Maraqua,' the search
responded back with no answers. Dejectedly, I tried 'Scarblade.' That only came
up with the more recent article about him. Scanning it, I came upon this tidbit:
"Darkest Deed : Attempting to destroy Maraqua, simply for the reason that
it didn't stay destroyed the first time."
Groaning, I was beginning to think that no one knew the reason why Scarblade
destroyed Maraqua the first time. Suddenly, I had a brilliant thought so brilliant
I do not know why I did not think of it before. I simply headed over to the
Neopian Times. This time, my search for Maraqua brought up many more results
than it had in the Neopedia. Reading a couple articles in the old Times, I quickly
learned that Maraqua had been destroyed in a whirlpool by a skeleton pirate
Kiko captain named Captain Dread.
WHAT!!?? This did not make any sense. How could Scarblade have destroyed Maraqua
if Dread did? The two stories completely contradicted each other. Neopets had
lied to me. Oh yes, they both had had a ship called the Revenge, and they both
could breathe underwater, but that was all they shared.
But what if, I thought, this IS the answer to why whoever destroyed Maraqua
destroyed it? What if Captain Scarblade and Captain Dread were actually the
same Neopet? That could be the proof I had been looking for. Going back to the
Neopedia, I searched for Captain Dread. Nada. Zip. Nothing.
Frustrated, I began to pace back and forth. Neopets had eliminated all almost
evidence that Captain Dread had ever existed. Then slowly, an idea began to
hatch in the back of my mind. Perhaps The Neopets Team had not erased all information
about Captain Dread on purpose. Maybe Scarblade/Dread had brainwashed them and
FORCED them to delete it. Perhaps he did not want any one to know the truth.
What that truth was, I did not know. Yet.
Sitting down at my computer, I began to construct a theory. A farfetched theory
it is, but one that completely explains the reason behind the demolition of
Maraqua. And now, I present it to you:
One day, Captain Dread the skeleton Kiko pirate, was out doing pirate things.
After raiding a few ships, terrorizing a few towns, he decided to use the underwater
function on his ship. Dread had heard about the underwater city of Maraqua,
and had decided to check it out himself. Approaching the great city, he figured
it must hold great wealth. So Dread and his crew cooked up a scheme to attack
Maraqua. Unfortunately for the pirates, they were overheard by a citizen of
the city, who immediately reported the pirates' plan to the officials.
The next day when the pirates began their invasion of Maraqua, there were
plenty of soldiers there to meet them. There was a very long fierce battle,
but long story short, the pirates got totally creamed and kicked out of Maraqua.
Now as Captain Dread was the most feared pirate of the Neopian seas, getting
totally creamed and kicked out of Maraqua did not sit well with him. So the
not so good captain decided to pay a visit to his old friends, the Drenched.
If the Drenched would teach Maraqua a lesson, he said, in return he would
give them some really powerful magical thingy that they really wanted. We shall
call it SRPMTTTRW for short. As the Drenched really wanted the SRPMTTTRW, they
agreed to teach Maraqua a lesson. It was agreed that the witches would create
a small whirlpool that would send a small amount of havoc to the city.
That would have been all fine and dandy, except for a small problem. When
the Drenched set out to create the small havoc wrecking small whirlpool, they
began to argue over who would be the owner of the SRPMTTTRW. As they argued,
the whirlpool became a destructive whirlpool of doom and destruction. Obviously,
the destructive whirlpool of doom and destruction destroyed Maraqua.
For some reason, Captain Dread was not very happy about that. He had actually
really wanted to plunder Maraqua after the small havoc was havocked, and now
there was so much havoc there was no city left to plunder. Dread declared that
he would not give the Drenched the SRPMTTTRW, as they had not followed through
on their part of the bargain. The Drenched were not very happy about that. In
fact, you could say they were downright unhappy, though perhaps 'shaking with
furious rage' might be a better description. As they were being downright unhappy,
they decided that they really, really wanted the SRPMTTTRW. They concocted a
plot to steal the SRPMTTTRW while Dread was unsuspecting. So concealing their
downright unhappiness, they swam away.
That night, while Dread was eating his coconut cream pie, the witches posed
a sneak attack. Again, there was a long, fierce battle, but again cutting a
long story short, the pirates got more creamed than the coconut cream pie. Though
the Drenched searched the ship thoroughly, they could find to trace of the SRPMTTTRW.
Screeching, they turned on Dread, who admitted he had been bluffing, and he
did not have the SRPMTTTRW.
As a punishment, they turned him into a green Lupe. Why this was a horrible
punishment, I do not know. Maybe he had had a horrible experience with a green
Lupe when he was a child or something. Maybe there were not any Chias around,
and they decided to go after him. But for whatever reason, it was considered
very nasty for them to do so. Ashamed, he returned to the surface.
But what about the name change, you say. Obviously, he could not claim that
he was Captain Dread, because then he would have to admit he got creamed by
Maraquans and a bunch of faeries. So he decided to start his life over. He came
up with the name Scarblade because of a nasty scratch he had gotten on his sword
during all the getting creamed. The story was that he had defeated Dread and
was now the new captain of the Revenge. Seeing as pirates are not too bright,
all the others believed him. Using the hypnotism he had learned from the Mystery
Island natives, he hypnotized the Maraquans and The Neopets Team into believing
that Dread had never existed and that he had done all that stuff.
What he did not count on was the Neopian Times writers. They are very capable
of withstanding hypnotism, and made sure that everyone knew that it was a skeleton
pirate Kiko that destroyed Maraqua. Not a green Lupe. The newly named Captain
Scarblade tried valiantly to defeat the writers, but as they say, the pen is
mightier than the sword and he got creamed again. Those trophies are not just
for decoration, you know. The bruised and battered pirate captain then went
off for a few years to nurse his wounds and plan his revenge. (No pun intended.)
He decided to destroy Maraqua for all the pain it had caused him. Then he remembered
that Maraqua was already destroyed, and vowed if Maraqua ever rebuilt, he would
destroy it then, and the Neopian Times writers.
So there you have it, the REAL story of what happened to Maraqua. Since Scarblade
has already tried to claim his revenge on the kingdom, the NT writers are probably
next. Probably this one in particular, as I have revealed to the public that
he eats coconut cream pie. Excuse me while I go build my Neohome out of stone
and upgrade the security system.