Will No One Think of the Petpets?
It's no small wonder why the Petpet Protection League was formed, but what are
they really doing to stop the rampant petpet abuse in Neopia? All they really
seem to do all day is throw darts at a giant list of Petpets to decide who wins
each week and hand out trophies and Neopoints.
True, they don't condone use of the Petpet Lab Ray, which means zapped Petpets
aren't eligible for their award. But has that stopped zap-happy owners from
using the ray? Of course not! Those owners turn their helpless Petpets into
different species, flavorful colors, piles of soot, and make them disappear
without fear of getting busted!
There IS possible evidence of the League's work in the game Petpet Rescue,
where Samuel the Scorchio liberates petpets working in Gargrall's Ruby mines.
But the game's description only calls him a "Petpet Crusader", so is he a League
member or a free agent? I'm leaning towards the latter, since one would think
the League would send in more than one member for such a task. Either way, there
are several other instances of abuse that have gone unchecked, though to be
fair, I've included a few that were iffy.
Take Petpet Cannonball for instance. The disclaimer states that "No Petpets
were hurt in the making of this game", but is that really true? And that only
accounts for the game's creation, there's still the possibility of them getting
hurt during gameplay, especially if the player misses the target. How many times
have the crewmembers cried " Overboard!"? Far too many,
I'm willing to bet.
A more blatant example is Petpetsitter, where "Mad old Mrs. Williams has gone
away and left you in charge of all her Petpets." And who can blame her; her
house is overrun with them! With all the noise alone, it's a wonder the Chia
Police haven't been called in already by the neighbors, unless she lives out
in the middle of nowhere. But that's no excuse. She shouldn't have taken in
more Petpets than she could handle in the first place! And given that the Petpets
constantly vie for the player's attention with their needs for things like hunger,
rest, and playtime, what do they do when no one's playing? Something tells me
that if the house ever DOES get raided by the police, it's going to take more
than an enchanted mop and bucket to clean up THAT mess...
We also have Petpet Battles, their equivalent of the Battledome, but the battlers
are limited to fighting the equivalent of 1-player challengers. And unlike the
Battledome, a Petpet can only either attack one of two ways or shield itself,
and the opponents are chosen randomly, matched up according to your Petpet's
level. A score of 10 raises your Petpet's level by 1. But what are Petpet levels
really for nowadays? A year or so ago (if not longer), during a regular Battledome
match the battling pet's Petpet would drop in and be available as a an attack
option - more abuse! I admit, I chose that option once to see if anything happened,
but nothing did. In more recent times, the option seems to have disappeared,
but the means of leveling up remain.
On that note, we briefly turn to the Meepit vs. Feepit game. While it could
be considered abuse, to me it seems more like a dominance-related game. *Somebody*
has to keep the Meepits in check so that they don't take over Neopia, and Feepits
have apparently volunteered for the job.
Next up are Petpets who allow players to gain new avatars if certain conditions
are met, such as being attached for a number of days. Many are traded and sold
back and forth, attached and unattached, to the point where they don't remember
who their original owner was. To say nothing of the sometimes-long waiting periods
when no one wants them or they're overpriced. I'm not saying avatar Petpet lending
should be stopped - so don't flame me - it's just something to think about.
Two more subtle ones many might have overlooked are the Mutated Wadjet-Grundo
and Rampaging Grundonoil enemies in the Lost Desert of NeoQuest II. And don't
tell me it doesn't matter because of the game's true premise - which I won't
spoil for those not in the know - because it's still potential abuse. Arguably,
defeating them to gain experience is abuse as well, but they are untamable.
Regardless, Neopet-Petpet fusions aren't natural, so how did they get that way,
and where did they come from? Are they escaped experiments of Dr. Sloth, considering
his creation of regular Mutant pets and use of Grundo minions? Or, given the
proximity to the Haunted Woods, are they the result of some twisted sorcerer's
Which brings me to my next case, Sophie's Stew. As you bounce ingredients toward
her cauldron, you're bound to drop a few, particularly when you're trying to
juggle multiple ingredients at once. One of two things can result from this:
the ingredients will either hit the floor and cause you to lose a life, or,
if he's close enough, her Meowclops, Clopsey, will eat them and you won't lose
a life. Good for you despite the decreased amount of points; not so good for
poor Clopsey, who often ends up a victim of the ingredients' adverse effects,
depending on which ones he eats. Not to mention, the game all but *encourages*
trying to hit the Droolik that occasionally flies across the room to gain powerups!
And more recently, as part of the "Tale of Woe" plot, Sophie has been using
Clopsey as a guinea pig for her potion attempts, with disturbing results at
Finally, we have the Warf Rescue Team. Whose bright idea was it to stack Warfs
single-file to form a ladder, and how do they even stay stuck together at the
odd angles, velcro? There has to be a better way of getting Kadoaties down from
mile-high tree branches like, oh, I don't know, NEOPETS WITH WINGS?! And how
did all those Kadoaties get up there in the first place? Did they run away?
Were they kicked out for making too much noise at night? Something's not right
In closing, it's pretty obvious that the Petpet Protection League isn't doing
as good a job as it should be. They need to take action to preserve the well-being
of Petpets everywhere. You may think I'm crazy, and maybe you're right, but
you gotta admit, I do have a good point.
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|Just One Little Question|
When she was done, it vanished, just as all Neopian books do. The
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