An Evening with the Follies Family
They are cranky. They are temperamental. They are the unlikely heroes of Neopia.
They are the Follies family. Over the past year, three members of the Follies
family have been involved in protecting Neopia from various evils and undoing
wicked enchantments. I recently caught up with these brave young men and after
dodging several blows from a shovel, I was able to secure a rare interview with
all three of them.
Renna: I'm here with "Odd-Job" Bob Follies, the Orange Yurble who oversaw the
recovery of the scroll repository near Sakhmet, was instrumental in the saving
of Altador, and is currently heading the preservation of the Hall of Heroes
in Altador; his ninth cousin, Farmer Tom Follies, the Blue Moehog who also helped
save Altador; and their fourth cousin, Caretaker Jim Follies, the Blue Yurble
whose graveyard records were a valuable resource in the saving of Neovia. Thank
you all for agreeing to allow this interview. Now Bob, let's start with you,
since you've been on the front lines the most. Did you know what you were getting
into when you first took the job in Sakhmet?
Bob: No, I had no clue that things would turn out like this. I was just a guy
who was looking to get away from farming. I'd had enough of those blasted slorgs
eating my crops. I wanted to get as far away from Meridell as I could. I never
expected to end up being honored by the rulers of three different kingdoms.
I was just doing my job.
Renna: So you never intended to become the hero you are?
Bob: *snorts in amusement* Definitely not. It's as much of a surprise to me
as it is to everybody else.
Renna: Tom, were you more eager to be on the front lines?
Tom: I was only on the front lines because my farm was on them. I just want
people to stay off my property and let me tend to my crops in peace.
Renna: So you're just glad that it's all over?
Tom: Yes. No more flooding. No more trampled crops. No more Neopians messing
around with my windmill. WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
Renna: Err, indeed they don't. Jim, your careful bookkeeping led to the discovery
of the identity of the Spirit of Slumber. Are you proud to have played such
a key role in the restoration of Neovia?
Jim: Proud?! Thousands of Neopians went tramping through my graveyards, stomping
on the grass, marking up my records - I'm not proud! I'm ANGRY! My poor pet
Halloween Rock almost suffered the same fate as Jubart Igig's tombstone, but
I managed to get to him in time. The poor guy wouldn't go outside for weeks
Renna: I'm sorry to hear that - is he doing better now?
Jim: Yeah, he's been keeping me company in the graveyards while I've been reburying
all of those dug up skeletons. It's been an absolute nightmare to figure out
what bones belong to which corpse. And not a single helping hand from those
trespassers! Just me, my rock, and Tom.
Renna: At least you've got some support there.
Jim: *chokes out a bitter laugh*
Renna: Bob, are you sorry that prior commitments are keeping you from helping
with the cleanup?
Bob: That's not really an accurate question, since I'm cleaning up after the
same Neopians in Altador.
Renna: But haven't you been doing that for months now?
Bob: Every now and then, someone else blows up the Darkest Faerie's statue
again, even though Altador's been safe for quite some time. So I have to clean
up the mess - AGAIN - and get a replacement statue in place. That picky old
coot Finneus insists on all 12 Protectors being represented in the Hall of Heroes
or I'd just leave it.
Renna: So, Tom and Jim, would you say you were forced into becoming involved
with these noble quests rather than committing yourselves willingly?
Jim: Noble quest, my eye! More like a conspiracy against me and my work! Nobody
likes the graveyard caretaker - "Oooh, he's SCARY!" It's a personal attack,
I tell you!
Tom: ASSISTANCE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!
Renna: Do you feel that way too, Bob?
Bob: Well, Renna, I used to, but ever since I took that anger management course,
it's been easier to see how our sacrifices are for the greater good.
Jim: Easy for you to say - you only have to clean one hall!
Bob: *visibly restraining himself from whacking Jim with his mop* There are
some side benefits as well.
Renna: Yes, I see that you've gotten a pet Vaeolus since we last met. Is that
the same one that was woven into Jerdana's spell?
Bob: Yes, he is. Tantrum and I went through the anger management course together
and survived with a minimal amount of scorch marks. He's been a great help in
picking up the pieces of that statue day after day.
Renna: All three of you have gathered some fans over the past year, despite
your vicious tempers. Does that affect your everyday life?
Tom: VICIOUS TEMPERS?! INTERVIEWING DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! *moves to throttle
Renna, but is restrained by Bob*
Jim: I don't see them helping me clean up the bones, so no.
Bob: Other than an occasional care package now and then, things haven't changed
Renna: So what's next for the Follies family, after the cleaning up is finished?
Jim: That's too far off to even joke about.
Renna: Hypothetically speaking.
Tom: I'm going home to my farm, crops, and pet Altachuck. That's where I belong
and where I'll stay.
Jim: If I ever finish - which I doubt - I'll not be going anywhere. Someone
has to protect the dead from those ruffians.
Bob: I'm pretty happy in Altador. Unless my services are needed elsewhere,
then I'll be staying here for a long time.
Renna: Well, it's good to know that Neopia's most heroic family will be sticking
around, steadfast and strong. Thank you for your time, gentlemen. Best of luck
to you in the future.