Roo Island - Under Siege
ROO ISLAND - As many of you may know, the fated day of the 29th of October heralded
the arrival of a supreme race of sentient gummy dice within small, peaceful Roo
Island. Even though this was openly declared in the news, it seems the vast majority
of Neopians have simply turned a blind eye to Roo Island's plight in favour of
mixing endless concoctions in the Haunted Woods, hoping to be the one who achieves
fame and glory by curing the monstrous denizens of Neovia.
This was foolish. These dice are ruthless. Do you think they will stop at conquering
Roo Island? My friends, when the 29th of October graced us with its malignant
presence, we were in fact witnessing the rise of a new Neopian power. These
dice are as bad as - if not worse than - Dr. Sloth himself. I decided to witness
this terror firsthand and interview the wise king on the dramatic current events.
Even the short boat trip to Roo Island was foreboding. The skipper was constantly
staring at the placid waters warily, his eyes peeled for signs of sudden attack.
I asked him if this was completely necessary.
"Young'un, them dice kin float. This'll be the last trip ah make to that accursed
place. Ah jus' hope you kin find a way back."
I told him I was experienced in the art of the pogo stick. He seemed satisfied.
On arrival to the king's quarters, I realised just how dire the situation was.
Maps showing areas of conflict were strewn over tables, Blumaroos were running
frantically along relaying important messages to commanders on the battlefield.
Even more shocking were the clear remnants of gummy dice. There were dripping
stains on the wall and carpet and the air smelt strongly of strawberry, blackcurrant
and lemon. I spied King Roo at the end of the room, ushering captains towards
him and angrily stabbing at a complex map of the island. The meeting was brief,
and the captains soon charged off to fulfil whatever deed the king had given
them. Finally, he turned to me.
Unfortunately, I was inspecting the ceiling tiles as I was planning on refurbishing
my Neohome, so the grand effect he was casting was about as impressive as a
chocolate oven. I looked round to see his slightly crestfallen expression.
"Everyone does that. I knew those ceiling tiles were too eye catching. Anyway,
I heard a writer from the Neopian Times had come ashore, and instantly sent
my guards out to fetch you. Sorry if they were slightly rough."
It was true. I didn't include that bit in this article because they said some
mean things. They may make you blush. To be honest, the bludgeoning wasn't too
bad, and they were civil enough to leave my feet untouched, so I decided to
say nothing. King Roo sat at a desk completely covered by a grand ornate map,
and one of his advisors offered me a seat.
"I brought you here because I fear you may be our only hope," the king muttered
in sombre dejection. A warm flush filled my cheeks. I'd tried the whole saving
Neopia thing before, and it hadn't gone exactly right.
"As you can see, Roo Island is under siege. Even though my most trusted warriors
battle the gummy dice valiantly, I've already lost my most valuable captain."
I spluttered in shock. "It's that bad?"
"Yes. He went to the lavatory, and I fear he may have locked himself in and
is trapped. It was disheartening for the troops."
I paused. The logical thing to do would just to unlock the door from the outside,
but King Roo had probably thought about that and knew something I didn't. Maybe
there was an evil pie guarding it or something.
"I think the only way I can get help is by making a direct plea to the Neopian
Times, so millions of Neopians can read it," King Roo began, halfheartedly studying
the map before him. "Everyone is so busy fighting off animated trees and dark
shadows in the Haunted Woods that they've completely forgotten about our dire
circumstances! Of course, this article you write will have to be good or else
we'll be doomed for eternity."
Great. No pressure, then.
"I suppose you'd better tell me just how these dice managed to arrive here
in the first place," I said, genuinely puzzled.
"Well," the king stammered. "We ordered a large shipment of gummy dice from
the chocolate factory. We were incredibly pleased with ourselves, as we'd bought
many for an incredibly low price. It was a cause for celebration and many Blumaroos
took to the streets in merriment."
King Roo's eyes glistened with deep hurt. "But, you see... the dice turned
against us. Before we knew what was happening, the merry go round was... overcome."
Here he burst into a strangled sob.
I looked uncomfortably away. "Umm... your majesty, you haven't heard the particular
rumour that the chocolate factory owner is... you know... evil?"
King Roo looked up in outrage. "He was very civil in the neomail he sent me!
How dare you suggest such a thing!"
"Okaaaaay..." I murmured, and scribbled 'violent tendencies' in my notebook.
I decided to take a different approach. "Now, I'm sure many readers are wondering
why your army simply can't eat the dice. Surely, if these things are mere lumps
of concentrated sugar and pure evil, couldn't you just eat them?"
There was a sudden flurry of movement behind me.
"AHHHAVAMPIRESOMEONEHELPME!" I screamed.
As you may have guessed, the sudden arrival was none other than Count Von Roo,
doing the typical vampire thing. Arriving suddenly behind Neopets and scaring
the living daylights out of them.
"Ze problem, little vun, iz zat ze dice have so much sugar wiven zem zat zey
rot teeth almost instantly. I have stronger teeth zan most of ze Neopets here,
so I can dispose of ze dice quickly. 'Owever, I am not sure just how long I
can continue zis."
I stared at his teeth. They weren't just yellow, they were glowing.
"Thank you, Mr Von Roo. I didn't realise you spoke like that," I stammered.
Vampires are scary.
"Ve quiet, mortal. I have ze Neoflu."
In the blink of an eye, the count suddenly departed. I searched under the desk
for him, but I had no luck. He was obviously really good at Kacheek Seek.
There was a sudden commotion from outside and as one, the King and his advisors
turned towards the balcony in horror. Von Roo hurtled over the edge and onto
the desk, stuck there rigidly by his sharp teeth. I suddenly saw a huge gelatinous
mass flop over the edge of the balcony and wobble angrily towards us. It was
clearly one of the dice.
The king turned towards me. "RUN, YOU FOOL! TELL NEOPIA OF OUR PLIGHT BEFORE
IT IS TOO LATE!"
I turned back towards him. "Sorry, what was that? I was admiring the ceiling
"JUST GO!" the king roared, then threw a chair at the attacking mass.
By secretive means involving a pogo stick and a balloon, I managed to escape
the decrepit shell of Roo Island. I am now going to send this to the editor,
and hope that this article will be published. If it isn't, Roo Island will be
destroyed and the dice will attack another Neopian tourist attraction.
No pressure, Mr. Editor.