Neopia's Golden Years
AT LEAST ONCE IN HIS LIFETIME BUT MAYBE TWICE BECAUSE IT'S KIND OF IMPORTANT AND
PERHAPS MAYBE MORE THAN TWICE BECAUSE IT'S AN INTERESTING DAYDREAM - The elderly
Neopian imagines himself basking on the banks of Mystery Island, floating on a
Fuurn leaf as it glides around Kiko Lake or pondering if the Peophin next to him
eats his potatoes mashed or liquidated. The wrinkly skin, patchy fur, teeth that
become false, and slightly dazed look upon the face makes one think of the Neopian
senior citizens we see in the world today.
Oh, and what respectable and honorable Neopians they are. For instance, Old
Wocky Johnson, who had never spoken to me before in his life, called to me when
I was walking by his house to get to the Marketplace. I waved and said hello,
and instead of keeping quiet, he said, "Ehh! Get off my lawn!" Wow. What inspiring
words that we should all live by. Ehh, get off my lawn. Not "please"
get-off-my-lawn, but "ehh" get-off-my-lawn. I felt like I should have been taking
How wonderful to be in your golden years at last, when all of this time you've
heard how wonderful it can be. Are you ready to retire? And if so, where to?
When you've felt like you have served your time managing your city and its
upkeep, it's time to settle down and rest after your hard years of working.
After all, these aren't called "The Golden Years" for nothing! The work you've
done is the polishing of the golden years, and the joys that you've put into
your community the golden tint. There are other ways to be golden other than
a paint brush, you know!
What do I do once I retire?
I'm glad you asked. =) This is the time of leisurely activities that you always
wanted to do in your spare time, but couldn't exactly find an opportune moment.
Try these things from the list below:
Pfishing: There is nothing more relaxing than casting out your line,
relaxing the pole in your hands, watching the bobber as it bounces on the surface,
and tipping back your khaki hat to take a quick nap. Pfishing is low-stress
and requires only a few ounces of energy. However, if you reel in something
such as a Whalin or fierce Sharky, you're on your own. Note: I am not
responsible for any Pfishing injuries... sprained shoulder, bump on the head,
horrible case of itchy feet, it's not my problem.
Board Games: When I was a kid and had all of the time in the world,
chess and checkers were two of my favorite games. Now that I'm older I don't
really have the time, but if I were retired, I'd be playing one of these games
all day! Unfortunately, you will need to wake up Old Wocky Johnson because you
do need a partner for these games. Remember to get a hat to keep the sun off
your head if you're playing outside, and bring a patchy blanket because there
may be a draft. A box of tissues wouldn't be a bad idea either.
Shuffle Board: This may just be one of my favorite games, and I promise
you that there are always all sorts of Neopians lined up to play! Just remember
to use a little extra strength when pushing the discs because it is much easier
to give a little rather than too much. All you'll need for this one is a comfortable
place to sit once it isn't your turn.
Sight seeing: Okay, I promise this isn't as crazy as it sounds. Some
folks say you're never more alive than when you put yourself out there to do
something crazy. I say you're never more alive when you've reached the
peak of the highest mountain in Shenkuu! If you're not in the shape for something
that adventurous, then perhaps try a visit to Qasala. Even if it's just a neighboring
marketplace to the Lost Desert, getting out into the hot, arid, sandy air will
be good for you. And it'll make you sleepy... again!
Now that your mind is filled with dozens of (well, about four) ideas to do
once you've retired, here comes the next big question. Where would you like
to live once you've retired? Rephrased: Where would you like to retire to?
Don't worry; I'm here to assist you! Below I've compiled a list of the top places
to retire. Without further ado...
Top Places to Retire (in no particular order):
Exotic Isle - If you like the warmth of the sun and a gentle breeze
ruffling your fur, Mystery Island or Lutari Island would be a great place for
you to retire. If you are looking for easy going activities and a peaceful environment,
I suggest any of the fabulous Islands. Well... maybe not Krawk Island unless
you liked the roughness of it! Otherwise, stick to the isles that don't say
stuff like, "I'm gonna steal yer booty!" O_O
Worlds of Mystery - "Mystery" not as in the Island, necessarily, because
you must be losing your memory in your old age: we've already covered that!
"Mystery" as in Shenkuu or Meridell. If you are into amusement, either one of
these choices would be a wise place to retire. Shenkuu's serene gardens and
mountainous appearance portray a sense of mystery and help to spike curiosity
in its wandering paths. Meridell is a great place to attend tournaments, visit
King Skarl's castle, and kiss some Mortogs. Plus, you could always check out
Meridell's neighboring world, Brightvale.
Relaxing Cities - Faerieland and Neopia Central are considered the relaxing
cities. I think Faerieland is a bit self-explanatory... how could you not be
relaxed sitting on a cloud all day while beautiful Faeries float by. If you
start getting into Quests, however, this all can change very quickly. The second
most relaxing city would be Neopia Central itself. Simplicity is relaxation...
so be sure not to wander off into the bazaar. Who knows what crazy shops they
have in there!
To conclude this brief article about the joys of The Golden Years, I'd just
like to say thank you for making Neopia a wonderful world. Without our senior
citizens, where would the world obtain its wisdom and patience? From who else
would we learn how to eat the steamed mushy stuff that they say is so good for
you? But most importantly, where else would we learn that our golden years are
exactly what they are cracked up to be?
Enjoy those golden years, Neopia. Stay young at heart!
Author's Note: Thanks for reading. Edited by beewitched2. My inbox is always
open for comments/thoughts. =)