National Neopia - A Traveler's Guide to Hotels
Welcome to this special edition of National Neopia, a complete and detailed guide
for any traveler looking for the best ever around the world vacation in Neopia.
Here, in our first issue, we shall cover a topic important to most travelers and
vacationers: Hotels. You shall find here the information most needed to choose
the hotel right for you. If you have a low budget, the Fleapit Motel or Cheap
Hotel may be the place for you. If your pockets are filled to the top with Neopoints
and you are willing to spend some, maybe the Opera Hotel is the right choice.
In this first part, we shall cover all the one to four star hotels in Neopia.
In Part Two (coming soon), all the five star hotels will be covered. Use the guides
to help you choose the best for your Neopets and your pockets. Remember; don't
miss National Neopia Issue Two, a guide to Neopia Central and the Northern Worlds.
Cockroach Towers - Rating: One out of Five Stars
Location - You don't want to know!
Cockroach Towers is an interesting place to stay, definitely for the cheap
and/or poor Neopian, at a price of 5 Neopoints a night. Known as an economy
hotel, with a rating of one star, the Cockroach Towers offers the worst service
money can buy. As you might imagine by the name, the beds and rooms are crawling
with Cockroaches. How it passes the Health Inspection, I don't know. The services
are even worse:
The restaurant services in the Cockroach Towers are under par. The food, cooked
by a rather fiendish jail cook, is swimming in bugs. The menu has a very strange
selection of fried clothing, real bug juice and moldy potatoes, probably bought
from Meri Acres Farm a couple hundred or so years ago.
Fitness Services, such as the Tennis Courts and Swimming Pool have been closed
down for quite some time. Due to this, we can not bring you any information
on the probably also cockroach infested fitness services.
Relaxation is a very interesting subject in one star hotels. You find a very
limited amount of services and the services there are not that great. In the
Cockroach Hotel, you can find the following relaxation services:
Maid Service - An army of very moody and extremely rude, not to mention old,
bunch of Kaus. Don't expect them to do anything more than making the room more
messy than it was when they came in.
En-suite bathroom - Hardly touched and the suspected home of an angry green
monster. Using the en-suite bathroom is not the best idea.
Sauna - All we can say is not to touch the oozing, glowing yellow stuff on
the wall. It is inferred to be leftover Toxic Waste from the Meepit factory
The walls are black with dirt, cracked and broken, the ceiling leaks, the carpet
smells and the toilet is constantly backed up. There is nothing more to say.
"Get out of there before it's too late!" - Neopian Times, Issue 32, "A Guide
to Staying Safe"
Fleapit Hotel - Rating: One and a Half out of Five Stars
Location: Outskirts of Neopia Central
Fleapit Hotel is, like the Cockroach Towers, a very cheap and not so nice
place to stay. At a price of 10 Neopoints per night, it is somewhat better than
Cockroach Towers. Really, the low rating is not from the completely deadly services,
but from the very limited, and still not the best, services (not to mention
all the petpetpets!).
The Restaurant, called "The Itchy Fleapit", is not the most comfortable place
to eat, but offers a selection of somewhat edible foods, covered in their famous
Fleapit Sauce. Our reader tally recommends the Steel Cube appetizer, as it is
the only food there not covered in fleas.
The Fleapit Hotel includes some very controversial fitness activities that
truthfully, don't bring out the better (if there are any) points of the Hotel.
The Scratching Post, Fleapit Pool, and Fleapit Lifting Room are not really the
best places to go to enjoy some physical activity. You're better off going into
The Relaxation Services in the Fleapit Hotel are the highlight, actually, of
the Hotel's facilities. These services are not that well kept, but still usable:
En-suite bathroom - Slightly cleaner then the washrooms in the Cockroach Hotel,
they are accessible and thought to be usable. The downside is that the sink
is broken, the shower doesn't have hot water and the towels are never washed.
Laundry Facility - We actually encourage you to use the Fleapit Hotel's somewhat
decent Laundry Services. You may find your clothes shrunk to the size of a thimble
on occasion, but the service is fast and works!
Grooming - If you want to be groomed with fleas, then this is the place for
you. If you get really itchy, then... don't use the Grooming Service.
The entire hotel is covered with petpetpets, making it very hard to move around,
and also very uncomfortable. The beds have straw mattresses and the pillows
are stones. The building itself is not well managed and the Front Desk gets
a bit too enthusiastic when a new guest signs in.
"I've never tasted Fleapit Juice before. To tell you the truth, it isn't too
good." - Dave Dodal, Guest in the Fleapit Hotel
"Not the best place to stay, but if can't afford anything else, this is fine."
- "A Guide to Hotels and Resorts" Neopian Times Issue 123
"I've seen better." - Neopian Times Issue 56, Hotel Reviews (pg. 2)
Cheap Hotel - Rating: Two out of Five Stars
Main Location: Lost Desert, Sakhmet City
The Cheap Hotel is not only cheap to stay in, but
has very cheap services and staff. At a price of 20 Neopoints a night, you can
discover the wonders and advantages of being cheap. You can consult the book
"Keeping Cheap" by Erin Pointesto, the manager of the Cheap Hotel. The services
seem a bit strange after you take away the money...
Don't expect to get a menu here! To save money, the waiters have memorized
all the foods the kitchen has to serve. The selection of food ranges from nifty
fast food dinners to strangely coloured asparagus and ready-to-eat vegetables,
as seen in Bob's Bargain Foods. The décor includes plastic utensils, cardboard
plates, and paper napkins and walls covered with heavy duty lead paint.
In order to save some funds, the Fitness Service only has one selection, the
Gym. Complete with Meepit powered treadmills, Juppie weights, and straw mats,
the Gym is the highlight of the Cheap Hotel. Most people don't actually use
the gym, but stand and admire what the hotel has done with such little money.
The Meepit powered treadmill is a revolutionary idea and marks the beginning
of Meepit slavery. The Juppie weights, using fruit instead of iron, is a new
idea, portraying snack and exercise. The straw mats aren't really that amazing,
but still add on to the whole cheap Gym idea.
Like the Fitness Services, the Relaxation Services have been tweaked because
of the cheapness. Instead of having the traditional way of things, the Cheap
Hotel uses the most economic and money saving methods possible:
The Jacuzzi - As explained in the Fitness Services above, Meepit Slavery has
really helped the hotel. Instead of having a complete sauna with a proper bubble
maker, the staff makes Meepits blow into the water to create the "Jacuzzi" feel.
As for the hot water, the expense is too great, so the water is cold.
Maid Service and Laundry Facilities - the Maid Service actually works in the
Cheap Hotel. They clean the rooms and reuse all the stuff they clean. Dirty
toothbrush? Who cares! It's still usable. Also, instead of using washing machines
for the Laundry Facilities, you can drop your stuff off at the pond where it
will be washed the old fashioned way.
Despite the cheapness and the uncomfortable beds, the Cheap Hotel has a bit
off a greedy, but still friendly atmosphere. If you're in a rush and don't have
too much in your wallet, the Cheap Hotel's many locations would be glad to take
you in (as long as you pay).
"A nice pleasant place. Very cheap, but a good place when you're on-the-go."
- Guest at the Cheap Hotel, Tyrannian Location
"I still want to know why my food wasn't cooked..." - Reporter for the Neopian
Mountain Lodge - Rating: Three out of Five Stars
Location: Terror Mountain
The Mountain Lodge is one of the most scenic hotels in all of Neopia. Located
in Terror Mountain, the hotel has a stunning view of the mountain range and
Happy Valley underneath it. For 30 Neopoints a night, you can enjoy the spectacular
Mountain Lodge view and its services directed to middle-wealth Neopians.
The restaurant is located in a giant glass building, which lets you watch the
snow fall to the ground and see the pine tree bristle in the wind. The food
is okay and has a small selection of Terror Mountain food. The Mountain Lodge
is famous for its Snow Cone Desserts, for which Neopians all over the vicinity
and ski slopes come in to have a taste. The ceiling of the building is a giant
panorama painting of the ski slopes with the hotel at its bottom.
The biggest and most popular Fitness Services in the Mountain Lodge are the
ski slopes. Right from the hotel, you can register to go skiing and even rent
your own equipment for a fun day at the slopes. The indoor heated swimming pool
is the home of the annual Terror Mountain Swimming Competition and also offers
Swimming Lessons for kids at an additional cost of 10 Neopoints per lesson.
The gym is not the best place to go because most of the focus is on the skiing
and swimming. The Gym does have some useful equipment that can be used for minor
fitness exercises, though.
The Mountain Lodge has an extra relaxation service not mingled with the customary
ones you usually find in hotels. That is the Snow Lounge. When you come back
from a long day of Skiing and the restaurant is closed, you can enjoy a hot
cup of Borovan or tea in the lounge, while looking out the window to watch the
skiers fly down the mountain. As well as that, you do in fact find the customary
Grooming - The hotel offers an okay grooming service where you can get a barber
to do his thing, or an ecstatic pink Usul to paint your toes and nails. The
service is inexpensive and good if you want to perk up for a night in the town.
En-suite bathroom - Cleaned regularly by the maids, the bathroom includes a
shower/bathtub in one and all the other necessities. Fresh towels are presented
once you run out and the hotel provides a toothbrush and tooth paste that can
be charged to your room after use.
The Hotel isn't too fancy but a great place to stay if you are planning a skiing
vacation. The restaurant and lounge are the best parts of the hotel and a must
go for a light snack, meal, or cup of coffee. The rooms all have a beautiful
view of the mountains and the services are pretty good.
"Wonderful view. The Ski Slopes are amazing and the lounge is such a great
place to go to relax and even enjoy a good book!" - "A Trip around the World"
by Marie Martin
"I refused to leave until my wife got angry. Either way, I'm coming back next
winter." - Reporter for the Neopian Times Reviews
Ye Olde Ship Inn: Rating - Three out of Five Stars
Location: Krawk Island Coast
Ye Old Ship Inn is the ideal hotel for vacationers and travelers in Krawk
Island. Like the Mountain Lodge, this hotel is directed to middle-class Neopians,
and for the price of 40 Neopoints a night, you can experience Krawk Island through
this hotel. The services, in order to make you seem like part of the island,
have a pirate theme:
The restaurant in Ye Olde Ship Inn is decorated just like an old pirate pub,
with wood tables, a bar, a Shoyru on the piano, and waiters dressed like pirates.
The giant portholes at each table allow the diner to gaze at the harbour and
the ships leaving port. The food is a selection of fairly good products that
come right from the Island. They also import drinks from the Golden Dubloon.
The restaurant is famous for the small acts that go on during your meals which
range from pirate battles to stories and legends.
The Fitness Services really do bring you into the Island. At the front desk,
you can sign up for fitness adventures outside the hotel. Once booked, you can
enjoy Rowing Races, Buried Treasure Digging, Dubloon Hunting, and also the hotel's
gym. The gym is one of the biggest services Ye Old Ship Inn provides, as it
holds a great number of fitness and exercise machines, as well as weights and
a track to run or jog on. Swimming is also available, as the hotel holds swimming
races on the shore where it resides.
As well as the common services, the hotel offers a number of extra things that
it hopes will help you enjoy your time on the island. This includes a certified
pass to gain entrance to the Golden Dubloon no matter what obstacle, a couple
of discounts at most of the stores, and, for a little extra, a trip in a ship
to see Krawk Island, Mystery Island, and other small places. The regular services
Neopian Times Delivery - A new issue is delivered to your door every day, if
you bother to pay for it.
Sauna - The sauna is decorated with pirate merchandise pasted all over the
walls. Although it is very squishy inside, you can relax and enjoy the heat
of hot coals steaming up the room.
Laundry Facilities - Thankfully, all you need to do in Ye Olde Ship Inn is
to drop your laundry in the basement with your name on the bag, and come back
to your room to find fresh, clean clothes bagged up and brought back.
The hotel has some really amazing feats, the best part being the pirate theme
that encircles not only the services but the rooms too. The adventures offered
to you by the hotel give you new insight into the island you are on. The fitness
activities are even better. In "Treasure Digging", if you find treasure, you
keep it! This hotel is probably the best place to go to enjoy a Krawk Island
"The whole pirate theme made me stay so I could investigate every part of the
hotel. The fitness activities are ingenious and the rooms look just like and
Inn, but more comfortable." - Traveler for "National Neopia"
"The Hotel without a doubt deserves its good rating!" - Amateur Reporter for
the Neopian Times Review
"I went on the "Trip in a Ship" to see the surrounding islands. I don't think
I ever had so much fun in my life." - Guest at Ye Olde Ship Inn
Hotel Opera - Rating: Four out of Five Stars
Location: Neopia Central, Music District
The Hotel Opera is for the prominent Neopian who doesn't want to spend too
much on a very fancy hotel but still enjoy a nice opera, deluxe suites, and
service that lets them enjoy a nice vacation. At the price of 50 Neopoints a
night, you can join the world of music as you discover opera and plays. The
service includes a number of things that fit to Neopians willing to spend a
bit more for a fancy hotel:
The Hotel Opera actually has two restaurants, one that will be mentioned in
the "Relaxation Services" section, and one that will be mentioned now. The hotel's
main restaurant is located near the Opera Hall, and is called "The Rose Pavilion".
The restaurant is not too extravagant, but actually very simple and fun. The
walls are covered with different posters of plays and operas that have taken
place in the hotel. The tables are all located near indoor windows that look
out into the Opera Hall below. Each table has a white tablecloth and a single
rose in a vase. As for the food, the chef makes near gourmet meals with ingredients
bought from the "Health Food" Store and the "Gourmet Club". The meals are somewhat
expensive but still good, making "The Rose Pavilion" the best dining in the
The Opera Hotel does not have such a large fitness program but it does have
a few places you can go to get some energy out. The tennis courts are located
outside the main building and hold tournaments every once and a while. The squash
courts in the basement are is the perfect place to meet up with a few friends
and play a game of squash. Finally, there is a jogging route around the hotel
premises and the park. The Hotel Opera does not intertwine itself with rough
physical activity as it is meant to be a classical and musical place.
The Opera Hotel first and foremost offers the wonderful ability to listen to
Neopia's most acclaimed actors and singers. The Opera Hall, the main attraction
and relaxation service in the Hotel, is the home of world famous opera singers
Amy Acara and Don Draik. It also includes the magic of the Altador Symphony
Orchestra. As well as beautiful décor, the Opera House also allows you to sit
at tables around the seats and enjoy a dinner while watching the show.
As always, here are the traditional services as well:
Maid Service - The maid service, dressed up in opera costumes, go door to door
daily to clean the rooms, make the beds and provide you with fresh towels. With
better service than the past few hotels, the maids are very passionate about
Grooming - A spa near the Lobby gives you the opportunity to book a massage,
facial, salon haircut or manicure and pedicure. It is not the best spa in the
world, but it is the best place to go if you want to relax and perk up.
The Opera Hotel gives you the best opera heard in many years. The entire place
is filled with a classic feeling and music. The rooms are reasonably comfortable
and the hotel is spectacularly planned out. If you are in a mood for opera and
a musical vacation, the Opera Hotel is the place for you.
"Every night a new production, opera, or symphony. The music was lovely. Though
the rooms are not like to ones I have seen in the Presidential Palace, they
are fitting for a good night." - Cocoa Kacheek, guest at the Opera Hotel
"Formidable restaurant, nice location, great music. What more is there to say?"
- Manny Mynci, guest at the Opera Hotel
The Royal Neopian - Rating: Four out of Five Stars
Location: Meridell, Palace Area
The Royal Neopian, located right next to Meridell
Palace, is the place to be if you want to be a king for a day, or even a vacation.
A high price of 80 Neopoints a night will bring you into a world of royalty.
The entire hotel is fit to the theme, with the lobby being a throne room, the
bedrooms being Royal Bedrooms and the maid being royal servants. If you can
afford it, this hotel is the best place to go for the King Skarl Experience.
The restaurant, called "The Grumpy Old King", is one of the most exquisite
hotels we have heard of in this article so far. The room is decorated like a
fancy dining room with a Meridell theme. The walls share the same red, white,
and blue style as the Meridell castle. The waiters are dressed up as Draik Guards
and trained with spears. The hotel even has the same chandeliers. As for the
food, there are two menus: the Three Course Menu and the Everyday Menu. From
both you can order kingly food from the palace's own batch of royal chefs.
The Royal Neopian offers many traditional Meridell sports that once in a while
become a Meridell wide tournament. The hotel is where the annual Meriball championships
are held. The same courts are available to all guests who enter the "Royal Fitness
Program". One of the most popular games is the Swim Across the Moat Challenge.
Not only used for day-to-day swimming, the moat is home to a monthly challenge
that awards the victor a free three course meal at "The Grumpy Old King". The
last Meridell activity that the Royal Neopian offers is Ultimate Bullseye. After
booking a game, the hotel pays for your admittance and you have all the time
you want to shoot ten arrows at a moving target.
One of the Royal Neopian's most acclaimed and famous service is their tour
of Meridell. In this tour, a professional tour guide, a historian, and a farmer
guide you through all of Meridell. You start from the palace, make your way
to Meri Acres Farm to Illusen's Glade, and back to the hotel. The Royal Neopian
also offers the ability to go for one day to its sister residence, the Opera
Hotel (both the Opera and Royal Hotels are trademark of Shoyrux Enterprises),
and the hear the glorious sounds of the Altador and Meridell Symphony Orchestra.
Some of the other services include:
Maid Service - Each worker in the maid service is dressed up as a royal servant,
ready on their heels to fluff your pillow, make your bed, clean the washroom
and tell you all about the hotel. Truly one of the most creative maid services
Neopian Times Delivery - Once a week, free issues of "The Kingly Post" and
"The Neopian Times" arrives at your door.
The Royal Neopian building looks like the Meridell palace. The maids, though
a bit edgy, tend to most of your needs. The service itself makes you feel like
you are King Skarl. Though it could use some improvements, it's a top notch
"The entire time I felt as though I was a king. Great place, great service,
and amazing atmosphere." - Amber Acara, Guest at the Royal Neopian
"The Royal Neopian is now the only place in the world other than the Meridell
Palace that still holds the architecture of Ancient Meridell" - "A History Of
Meridell and its Culture" by Drake Dragon
We hope that you have enjoyed the first part to our Hotel Guide and use it
to find the best suitable hotel or vacation spot for you and your family. For
more information on National Neopia or to subscribe, please contact your nearest
National Neopia Office. We are also accepting subscriptions to Issue Two, a
guide to Neopia Central and the Northern Worlds, and Part Two of our Hotel Guide.
Thank you for taking your time to read this issue and we hope you enjoy any
upcoming vacations in Neopia.
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Please neomail kawaktongbee.