The Great BLUE Draik Egg Conspiracy... er, "Theory"!
Yes, we all know of the dark times when those cute and cuddly Kads needed feeding
with the most expensive items. Poor, unsuspecting feeders would save up millions,
and then spend it all on a Draik Egg. A BLUE Draik egg, to be precise, and then
hand it over to those ebil Kadoaties. *shudder* What I want to know, is why is
it BLUE? Why not YELLOW, or GREEN? This is why I believe there to be a Great Draik
Why? You may ask. Why are you so paranoid about Kads?
Blue Draik Egg (BDE): Yeah! WHY?
Me: Be quiet. I'm NOT paranoid.
BDE: Sure seems like it...
Me: Be quiet, or I'll bury you in the Lost Desert!
BDE: Okay, okay, I'll be quiet. Sheesh.
Me: Anyway, back to my conspiracy theory. Kads always used to ask for Blue
Draik Eggs. Why BLUE? Well, here are my reasons:
#1 -- Blue is such an unsuspecting colour.
Why would have ever thought of BLUE as an evil colour? No, the first colour
that comes to mind when Neopians think of evil is RED or GREEN. Am I right?
Me: *AHEM* Yes, I am right. Neomail me if I'm wrong.
BDE: I will.
Me: WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?! BE QUIET!!
BDE: She has issues...
Me: Right. Anyway, back to the article. The Kads could be formulating a plan,
which involves an army of BLUE DRAIKS!! MUAHAH- - I mean, OH NO!! I mean to
say, has anyone seen the Kads actually EAT the Egg? Huh? HUH?!! No.
Me: Right! Solitary Confinement for you!
BDE: NOOOOOO!! I'M SORRY!!
Me: Sure. *drags*
#2 -- Eggs hatch, and when they do...
The first thing they see is the thing they worship. Think about it-
BDE: Then I hope to never see you when I hatch.
Me: Hey! How'd you get out of solitary confinement?!
BDE: I have my ways...
Me: *humph* Nevermind. But anyway, think about it, if the Draik hatches, it
will almost certainly see a Kad first, unless of course, they see the cage first,
in which you've got a problem; a Draik worshiping the ceiling.
#3 -- Draiks are the only things that start off as an item that grows up.
Kads in the Kadoatery don't have access to the outside world. Therefore, they
would need everything needed for an evil plan from the feeders. And they have
to make it look like they would actually eat the items. So, if they wanted an
army of Neopets, they'd have to get an edible item, such as an egg. This egg
would have to contain a Neopet. Draik eggs. Simple as that. They'd also want
Draiks, because it'd look a wee bit suspicious if they asked for a Krawk, wouldn't
it? Besides, why would a KAD want to eat a petpet? People would start to talk,
and the Kads' plan would be foiled.
#4 -- Draiks are so darn CUTE!
The Draiks are just sweet little Dragons. Right? RIGHT?! Am I right?
BDE: No. And this article is ridiculous.
BDE: But, uh, I was only joking!!
#5 -- Mutant Draiks are some of the most coveted painted pets in all of
What would you do if a pink Kad walked up to you with a Mutant Draik, and told
you that you could have itself and the Draik, in exchange for your complete
and utter trust and devotion? You'd probably say yes, wouldn't you?
Me: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND THE WORD "NO"?!
Me: Fine, you stink.
BDE: *sniff* No I don't!
Me: Yes, you do. You smell like a rotten egg.
BDE: That's only 'cause you haven't hatched me yet! You bought me TWO YEARS
Me: It's not MY fault that YOU lost the map to the nest! Anyway, moving on...
so, once the Kads had entered your Neohome, they would poison your mind into
helping them. I have no idea how they would turn Draiks into mutants, but...
BDE: Next reason please.
Me: Yes, good idea.
#6 -- This reason does not exist.
BDE: It does now!
Me: If you're not careful, I'll smash you before you hatch!
BDE: The only reason you bought me is because you wanted to write this idiotic
article, and had to wait TWO YEARS for the inspiration to come.
#7 -- Phase 2...
Phase 2 of the Kad's evil plan is this:
Everyone's noticed that they've stopped asking for Blue Draik Eggs. That means
that Phase 1 has been completed.
BDE: Here comes the reason WHY the Draiks are mutant...
Me: How did you KNOW? *Ahem* Now that they've got the army of Draiks in the
back, they need to turn them into mutants. How they do this: The Kads that aren't
in the Kadoatery ask the pets (brainwashing them first) to get them the petpet
lab ray. That way, they'll have BOTH lab maps. They will use the pet lab ray
to transform the eggs from their imprisoned cousins, after making their owners
take them to the Draik Nest to hatch the eggs. Then, when their owners are fast
asleep, the Kads will travel to the Secret Lab Ray, and zap the newly hatched
Draiks into mutants!! (After brainwashing the mad scientist, of course! ^.^
) Then, to avoid suspicion, they transform themselves into a different petpet,
using the petpet lab ray. The evil Kads now have the army of Draiks, and and
the perfect disguise!!
BDE: May I ask how you know all this?
Me: No, you may not.
#8 -- COMPLETION!! AT LAST!!!
Thankfully, this part of the master plan of those evil Kadoaties has not yet
come to pass, and all we can do know is wait, and hope for the best.
A little pink Kad: Mew! Would you like me and a Mutant Draik?
Me: Awwww!! YES!!! *dies*
A little pink Kad: It will only cost ... *low, evil voice* Your complete trust
and utter devotion.
Me: OF COURSE!!! *Huggles*
A little pink Kad: Oof!
BDE: Well, there goes that Neopian.
BDE's note: Fortunately, one of Alexsmum's pets foiled
the evil Kad's plan, and saved Neopia with the help of a certain army of Draiks...
Actually, that never happened. It was Fyora. ALL Fyora, all though Alexsmum
will never be the same...
Neomails, insults, dung etc, etc, are most welcome!