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The Secret Life of Sophie the Swamp Witch

by lindortruffle


Here, oh reader, let me tell you a true story about a day in the life of the Swamp Witch Sophie...

     "Oh, zombies!" the Ixi cursed. The Meowclops lying on the creaking wooden floor perked up his ears. "Sorry about the language, Poboy, but I'm out of Ghost Marshmallows!" Poboy gazed down at the ground guiltily and swiped his tongue over his lips while Sophie continued ranting. "I can't complete this spell without them! I'll just have to go into the Marketplace and buy some. Oh, Meepits!"

     Sophie slammed the cupboard door irritably. She hated going to the Marketplace! At every corner was some crazy pet asking for her autograph... it grew old after a while!

      "No wonder Sloth stays up at the Space Station! I bet there's no mob of autograph seekers up there!" Sophie thought with a shake of her head. Her green hair locks bounced up and down as she moved her head. Sophie reached for her witch's hat and headed for her tower stairs.

     "Be back soon, Poboy! Don't destroy the house while I'm gone!"

     Poboy the Meowclops blinked his one giant eye and shuffled his paws, wondering how in Neopia Sophie had known he had been going to do that.

     Outside the tower, Sophie shivered and tugged her scarf tighter around her neck. It was early October in Neopia, and the air in the Haunted Woods was filled with a sense of festivity as the holiday the Woods was known for drew near.

     After Sophie had taken her usual route through a section of the Woods and past the Deserted Fairground, the noise of the Spooky Marketplace washed over her ears. Sophie passed under the archway and into town.

     The Marketplace was as crowded as ever. With Halloween only a few weeks away, the Marketplace was crammed with pets and owners alike. Owners trying to hold on to young pets in the candy shop, teenage pets viewing the costumes, and dwellers of the Haunted Woods cackling together by the Game Graveyard. Sophie turned left towards the Spooky Food stand when a pair of old hands grasped her by the shoulders.

     Now, as you guess, any other pet would probably have screamed at the top of their lungs, fearing that they would become dinner for a hungry Werelupe, but Sophie just smiled and calmly said, "Hello, Edna."

     The hands let go of her shoulders and an ancient voice whispered in Sophie' ear.

     "'Ello, dearie. My, I haven't seen you around here in a while. Told me you didn't like being seen in public, you did, what with all your crazy fans and all. So, why are you here? Surely the great Sophie didn't just fancy a walk through the neighborhood, now did you?" Edna laughed harshly at her own little joke.

     "No, Edna," Sophie replied. "I came to buy some Ghost Marshmallows. I need them for a spell and I'm fresh out-"

     "Ha!" Edna crowed, cutting Sophie off. "As am I! Tell, me, what spell would you be trying to accomplish?"

     "Uh, well, you see, it's a Growth Spell, so I can-"

     "I need the little suckers for my supermodel potion. I'm nearly done with it! And let me tell you something..." Edna pulled Sophie in so close to her mouth that Sophie could barely withstand Edna's brain cone breath. Now I ask you - who eats Brain Cones? "It's a conspiracy, it is! This shortage of Marshmallows! The Food Stand has a hold on 'em unless you ordered, they're sellin' out so fast! These Neopia Central tourists are candy vultures! And speaking of the horror-"

     Edna pointed a shriveled finger at a blue Uni heading in their direction. She had a pen and a pencil pad. You could see the desire for an autograph written across her face.

     "Uh oh," Sophie muttered. She turned to Edna. "It's been nice talking with you, but now I really have to go!" And Sophie took off down the lane towards the Spooky Food Stand. She could hear Edna shouting at her from behind.

     "Very good, dearie! Come by again, I enjoy our chats! You tell me if you find any of those Marshmallows! This conspiracy has to end sometime..."

     Sophie turned a corner and crashed into two young Lupes. When they saw her, their eyes widened.

     "Oh my gosh," one giggled, "it's Sophie!"

     "Can we have your autograph?" the other asked.

     "Uh...." Sophie stammered. She knew that if she gave these two autographs, then every other pet would want one too. But she hated saying no. But if she said yes...

     "Sophie!" Sophie was spared having to answer the young Lupes when a Halloween Mynci called her from inside the food tent.

     Sophie quickly ducked inside. "Maybe next time," she told the Lupes.

     Sophie turned to see her caller. It was Grims Child, a Mynci friend of Sophie's since they had both moved into the Woods.

     "Thanks, Grims! If I had given those two autographs, the entire marketplace would have wanted one! The name 'Swamp Witch' would take on the meaning 'Swamped by Fans'! I owe you one!"

     Grims just grinned mischievously at her. "Got that right! I heard three Usuls talking about you over by the Brain Tree. They said that would get their 'Sophie the Swap Witch' T-shirts signed by you! So, why are you here? I thought you hated the Marketplace!"

     Sophie sighed. "I do, but I'm out of Ghost Marshmallows and-"

     "Oh! Well, here! I got the last ones, but I don't really need 'em. I was just gonna give 'em ta Jack, but you can have 'em!" Jack, or Jack-o-Lantern, was Grims' petpet Droolik, who was constantly sneaking into Sophie's house and messing with her stew ingredients. Sophie smiled gratefully at Grims and took the Ghost Marshmallows from his basket.

     "Great! Now I can get out of here before anybody sees me! Bye, Grims!" Sophie headed for the tent flap as Grims waved goodbye.

     The second Sophie stepped outside, a pet screamed, "There she is!" and thirty pets surged towards her, all with notepads and pencils in their hands. Sophie spotted the three Usuls Grims had mentioned and the two Lupes from earlier. Her eyes widened to the size of Yooyu balls as she turned to flee.

     All through the Market place, the pets chased her. They were mad with autograph fever. They stayed hot on our Swamp Witch's tail all through the Food stands, the costume shop, even the Deserted Fairground! Sophie only just managed to shake them by ducking behind a tree as the mad horde stampeded past. Sophie let out a breath of relief and began to weave through the trees to her tower.

     "Poboy, I'm home!" Poboy perked up his ears and his giant eye flew open in dismay. The fans he had paid off should have kept Sophie at the Marketplace for at least another hour! When Sophie saw the mess he had made... he was so dead!

     Sophie paused when she did not hear the usual meow of greeting from Poboy. She sighed. "What has that boy done now?"

     Sophie hurried up the creaking wooden stairs to the top floor. "Poboy, move." The Meowclops stood, blocking the door. He was hoping to buy time, but he knew it was hopeless.

     "Poboy, move. NOW." Sophie moved her hand to turn the knob and open the door, Poboy let out a piteous mew. Sophie ignored him and pushed the door open.

     Sophie dropped the bag of Marshmallows and they bounced all over the floor. Poboy bolted for the nearest chair, hoping to hide under it as Sophie exploded.

     "POOOOOOOOOBOOOOOYYYY!!!!!" she shrieked.

     The room was in turmoil. Ingredients were spilled everywhere! Glass was shattered all across the room! A table was turned over, pillows had been ripped open and feathers strewn everywhere. There was a hole in the roof, the curtains were in shreds, and even worse - her stew pot had been turned over, and the mixture was gathered in a puddle, by now completely useless. Poboy tried to make himself look smaller under the chair.


     And that, my dear readers, is a true story of what often happens in a day in the life of the Swamp Witch Sophie. This reminds me, I need to ground Poboy and go get some more ingredients for that potion! Hopefully the fans are gone by now...

The End

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