There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 135,120,768 Issue: 263 | 27th day of Collecting, Y8
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Friend or Foe?


by qeenoneo

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HAUNTED WOODS - Have you ever wondered whether the Halloween pets you see trekking about the Haunted Woods are genuine or just phony shams to get the attention they crave? I myself get quite confused at times, peering at a Halloween Uni, shuddering at the ferocity of it, only to discover that it was merely a shy green Chia dressing up for the fun of 'Trick-or-Treat'.

I am assured that all citizens and pets love wondering from door-to-door, beaming at the inhabitants, 'Trick or Treat!?' Am I right or am I right? From a mere 3 years of age to a staggering 56, all ages enjoy the adventure of what Halloween has to offer that one time a year. But it is not always safe, as beasts in the wake of the shadows do not liked to be disturbed during their slumber. So how can you be assured 99% safety? (100% safety is never guaranteed in the Haunted Woods.)

No one can really tell the difference between these bizarre Halloween mortals or the ones that are dressing up for the sake of the occasion, until you gaze close enough, that is...

I took a deeper look into this matter, so I can help all of you who are fearful of the daunting Halloween species, including myself!

A few things to remember before you step into the eerie land of the Haunted Woods:

1) NEVER look twice

If you decide to take a second look at one of the creatures that walk by your side, you might want to think about purchasing a new wallet, or a face for that matter.

2) Keep your friends nearby

Never let your fellow companions out of your sight. The last thing you want on the dawn of Halloween is the commotion of being hauled into the depths of the Haunted Woods by some lunatic who is planning to serve you for their midnight snack.

And finally...

3) Bring a torch

Might be the best thing you ever do! Just a warning; the creatures lurking behind the corner of Thade's castle are not things you want to be acquainted with.

Now that you have a basic idea of what to and not to do during your stay at the Haunted Woods, it is time to explain to you how to tell the difference between an authentic Halloween Pet or a costume made for the pleasure of making the hairs on the back of people's necks stand up and quiver.

First things first, look into their eyes!

We all know that costumes do not possess the ability to make their eyes twinkle and be in motion according to their surroundings. If their eyes do not seem to be making any sort of movement, you could almost be sure that it is a fraud! But then again, some Halloween minions have mastered the art of discipline so their eyes may not make any sort of movement, even if a jug of Restorative Green Tea was hurled at their head!

If looking into their eyes does not work, test their general knowledge.

On my recent travels to the Haunted Woods whilst doing some research for my article, I grasped the fact that all 'true' Halloween pets know the history about their heritage. If they do not know the answers to these questions that I am about to give you, there is no way they can be truly Halloween, even if they tried.

Q1) The Esophagor; what actually is he?

Q2) Why is Edna as stubborn as she is?

(You avatar collectors sure know what I mean when I say 'stubborn'...)

Q3) Did 'Count Von Roo' originally come from the Haunted Woods? If so, why is he now at Roo Island?

Q4) What are all the ingredients in a Slime Sundae?

Q5) Why is it always dark in the Haunted Woods?

Answering these questions will let you know that they carry the blood of a true Halloween Pet, or they have just done their research. But in actual fact, no species or color knows what is contained within a Slime Sundae, besides a genuine Halloween pet (and trust me, you don't want to know).

A true Halloween pet is vile, vicious and egotistical to the utmost. If you ever come across a pet that is kind, gentle and polite, then you know you aren't dealing with the true breed. A Halloween pet will NEVER be polite, NEVER be courteous, NEVER be compassionate, and NEVER, I mean, NEVER be well-mannered; it is just not in their nature. The only nice thing a Halloween pet has done is give us an avatar, isn't that right, Werelupe? (If you come across another nice deed be sure to let me know!)

If none of the above methods work in finding the genuine breed and the phony costume, then maybe it is time to take an even closer look, literally! Costumes don't move, right? So it will have no facial expression or no suggestive body language which might lead you to answering that lingering inquiry, 'Are you genuine?' It's all in the movement of the body, and if you have a keen eye for body language, then you ought to know the difference between the real thing and the fakes! But if you are not completely sure, then be confident in approaching a Halloween pet, or in some cases, a replica Halloween pet, and look into their eyes; ask them the 5 questions that all Halloween pets should have the answer to and watch their behavior. You can't be in the wrong if you follow these simple instructions that I have left for you.

By now you should have an exceedingly good idea of which pets are genuine and which aren't. So next time you visit the Haunted Woods, there is no excuse for being alarmed while walking side-by-side with the uncanny Halloween breed.

If a Halloween pet 'replica' happens to be giving you trouble, just yank off their mask and be on your way, as simple as that; they won't give you any trouble at all. But don't get mistaken by a genuine pet, as that will give you a dilemma!

 
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