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Twenty One Tips on How to Be Boochi Safe!


by illusen_emrald

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For those Neopians who live in fear of that dreaded pink Bruce and his ray gun, I have conducted this article in an attempt to protect your beloved pets.

In case you have been living under a rock or are new to Neopia, Boochi is a bashful baby Bruce who roams Neopia. He carries with him a seemingly juvenile plastic ray gun but do not be fooled by its appearance! A single zap will turn your pet into a baby!

You may think, "How can this be bad, if anything, it's cute!?"

Yes. So very, very cute...

Can you imagine just how 'cute' it is after you spend millions of Neopoints on a rare, exotic paint brush to paint your pet with only to find it zapped into a miniature drooling machine the next day!? Incidentally, this happens to hundreds each day. So let's face it, it's sick and twisted!

Now you may be thinking, "Well what can I do about it?! I don't want that to happen to me!"

Think again! This article contains twenty one helpful tips (or perhaps not so helpful) on how to protect your pets from the evil Boochi. You may want to know why I chose twenty one tips and not twenty or twenty two. It is because traditionally at twenty one you are an adult and no longer a baby.

1. Only adopt/create pets that do not have a baby colour. After all, he can't zap your pet baby if it simply is not possible! Here is a list of pets that do not currently have a baby version: Krawk, Lutari... and that's all.

2. Select one pet that cannot be zapped baby and keep it as your active pet at all times. Random events usually seem to affect your active pet the most.

3. Only leave your Neohome at night. Why would a vulnerable ickle baby Bruce venture out at night?

4. Purchase your Neohome in the deepest, darkest, spookiest, nook in the Haunted Woods you can find. I don't suppose he would want to go to such a threatening place.

5. Make your pet's clothing out of hundreds of tiny pieces of mirror; this way Boochi's baby ray will ricochet off in another direction. Just think how cool your pet would look if they ever decided to go to a disco under the lights or... Uh-hem, sorry, on with the article.

6. You could train your pet to increase its speed level as much as possible. This way he is more likely to miss if he ever takes aim at your pet... right?

7. Use reverse-psychology and pretend that you WANT to be zapped (heaven forbid!). This *may* influence Boochi to simply lose interest and pursue mischief elsewhere.

8. *Laughs insanely* Why don't you paint all the pets in Neopia baby! Then there will be nothing left to zap! *Shudder* Okay, maybe not...

9. Write Boochi a letter requesting he never zap your pets in exchange for a lifetime of chocolate milk! Mmmm, chocolate milk...

10. Wear a baby Neopet mask on your pets at all time. What is the sense in zapping a pet baby if it is already babied? (Is there such a word as babied?) Note: This is highly extreme and humiliating for your pet! Only use this suggestion in desperate situations!

11. Try to find Mother Boochi (if such a being exists!) and describe to her the mischief Boochi has been causing around Neopia and hope that she puts him on a leash... or something.

12. Steal his ray gun and remove the batteries or switch it in reverse. Brilliant idea, I know!

13. Strap Boochi to a rocket and send him to Kreludor. Everyone knows the 'Moonies' adore baby pets... or so I've heard.

14. Blackmail him by threatening to tell the whole of Neopia about how he still wets the bed. Oops! Did I say that aloud? *shifts awkwardly*

15. Using a Giant Sticky Hand, steal his ray gun and fill it up with bubble formula. Why, you may ask? That's easy, because everyone loves bubbles!

16. Discover a new town in Neopia and enforce a height restriction on all who wish to enter. Boochi, being a baby Bruce, will be too short to pass through. Apologies to all the other baby pets out there on this one! Although this does have other benefits too. Evil Fuzzles from Outer Space will not be able to enter either!

17. Ask a faerie to put a charm on your pets that protects them from ever being zapped into a baby.

18. Give your pet a frightening name like 'BabyMasher' and hope this is enough keep Boochi at bay.

19. Paint at least one of your pets faerie so they will be able to fly away with all of your other pets to safety.

20. Set up a trail of sugary treats leading from Boochi's house straight into the cave of the Snowager. Okay, perhaps this is a little harsh!

21. If all else fails, purchase a lifetime supply of paint brushes, so you will be ready to repaint your pet if Boochi does decide to pay your pets a visit. However, this is horribly expensive and it's extremely annoying that you should have to resort to this, so let's just hope it never comes to that.

Good luck to all you Neopians and I wish your pets well. Take this article as you see fit; I take absolutely no responsibility if all of my suggestions are a complete waste of time and you get zapped nonetheless. However, I take full credit for each day you successfully heed this advice. If you have a problem with this article, I don't want to know about it! On the other hand, compliments are always welcome!

Oh, and Boochi? Stay away from my pets, I like them just the way they are! ...please?

P.S. I would like to nominate Boochi for the Gallery of Evil or is there an age restriction? And no, I'm not joking, I'm deadly serious!

 
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