Twenty One Tips on How to Be Boochi Safe!
For those Neopians who live in fear of that dreaded pink Bruce and his ray gun,
I have conducted this article in an attempt to protect your beloved pets.
In case you have been living under a rock or are new to Neopia, Boochi is a
bashful baby Bruce who roams Neopia. He carries with him a seemingly juvenile
plastic ray gun but do not be fooled by its appearance! A single zap will turn
your pet into a baby!
You may think, "How can this be bad, if anything, it's cute!?"
Yes. So very, very cute...
Can you imagine just how 'cute' it is after you spend millions of Neopoints
on a rare, exotic paint brush to paint your pet with only to find it zapped
into a miniature drooling machine the next day!? Incidentally, this happens
to hundreds each day. So let's face it, it's sick and twisted!
Now you may be thinking, "Well what can I do about it?! I don't want that to
happen to me!"
Think again! This article contains twenty one helpful tips (or perhaps not
so helpful) on how to protect your pets from the evil Boochi. You may want to
know why I chose twenty one tips and not twenty or twenty two. It is because
traditionally at twenty one you are an adult and no longer a baby.
1. Only adopt/create pets that do not have a baby colour. After all, he can't
zap your pet baby if it simply is not possible! Here is a list of pets that
do not currently have a baby version: Krawk, Lutari... and that's all.
2. Select one pet that cannot be zapped baby and keep it as your active pet
at all times. Random events usually seem to affect your active pet the most.
3. Only leave your Neohome at night. Why would a vulnerable ickle baby Bruce
venture out at night?
4. Purchase your Neohome in the deepest, darkest, spookiest, nook in the Haunted
Woods you can find. I don't suppose he would want to go to such a threatening
5. Make your pet's clothing out of hundreds of tiny pieces of mirror; this
way Boochi's baby ray will ricochet off in another direction. Just think how
cool your pet would look if they ever decided to go to a disco under the lights
or... Uh-hem, sorry, on with the article.
6. You could train your pet to increase its speed level as much as possible.
This way he is more likely to miss if he ever takes aim at your pet... right?
7. Use reverse-psychology and pretend that you WANT to be zapped (heaven forbid!).
This *may* influence Boochi to simply lose interest and pursue mischief elsewhere.
8. *Laughs insanely* Why don't you paint all the pets in Neopia baby! Then
there will be nothing left to zap! *Shudder* Okay, maybe not...
9. Write Boochi a letter requesting he never zap your pets in exchange for
a lifetime of chocolate milk! Mmmm, chocolate milk...
10. Wear a baby Neopet mask on your pets at all time. What is the sense in
zapping a pet baby if it is already babied? (Is there such a word as babied?)
Note: This is highly extreme and humiliating for your pet! Only use this suggestion
in desperate situations!
11. Try to find Mother Boochi (if such a being exists!) and describe to her
the mischief Boochi has been causing around Neopia and hope that she puts him
on a leash... or something.
12. Steal his ray gun and remove the batteries or switch it in reverse. Brilliant
idea, I know!
13. Strap Boochi to a rocket and send him to Kreludor. Everyone knows the 'Moonies'
adore baby pets... or so I've heard.
14. Blackmail him by threatening to tell the whole of Neopia about how he still
wets the bed. Oops! Did I say that aloud? *shifts awkwardly*
15. Using a Giant Sticky Hand, steal his ray gun and fill it up with bubble
formula. Why, you may ask? That's easy, because everyone loves bubbles!
16. Discover a new town in Neopia and enforce a height restriction on all who
wish to enter. Boochi, being a baby Bruce, will be too short to pass through.
Apologies to all the other baby pets out there on this one! Although this does
have other benefits too. Evil Fuzzles from Outer Space will not be able to enter
17. Ask a faerie to put a charm on your pets that protects them from ever being
zapped into a baby.
18. Give your pet a frightening name like 'BabyMasher' and hope this is enough
keep Boochi at bay.
19. Paint at least one of your pets faerie so they will be able to fly away
with all of your other pets to safety.
20. Set up a trail of sugary treats leading from Boochi's house straight into
the cave of the Snowager. Okay, perhaps this is a little harsh!
21. If all else fails, purchase a lifetime supply of paint brushes, so you
will be ready to repaint your pet if Boochi does decide to pay your pets a visit.
However, this is horribly expensive and it's extremely annoying that you should
have to resort to this, so let's just hope it never comes to that.
Good luck to all you Neopians and I wish your pets well. Take this article
as you see fit; I take absolutely no responsibility if all of my suggestions
are a complete waste of time and you get zapped nonetheless. However, I take
full credit for each day you successfully heed this advice. If you have a problem
with this article, I don't want to know about it! On the other hand, compliments
are always welcome!
Oh, and Boochi? Stay away from my pets, I like them just the way they are!
P.S. I would like to nominate Boochi for the Gallery of Evil or is there an
age restriction? And no, I'm not joking, I'm deadly serious!