Meepits Are Not the Enemy!
That's right, I said it. Everybody always says, "Oh no, it's a Meepit, run," or
"Meepits are freaky," or often, "Meepits work for Sloth/TNT." Everybody hates
Meepits because they think Meepits are evil. Well, I've had enough of it! It's
about time somebody stood up for the little guys. Meepits are cute and pink and
cuddly, not evil, and I will tell you why.
First, I must say it is not all your fault for hating Meepits. There are plenty
of reasons to hate Meepits. First there is Meepit versus Feepit. Meepits are
the main enemy in that game. Why shouldn't you hate them, right? Wrong! The
whole idea of the game is prejudice against Meepits. You may think that the
Meepits are attacking the Feepits. Wrong again! The Feepits are attacking the
Meepits, and the Meepits are defending themselves. Feepits are savages. Have
you ever noticed the Feepits are in the Meepits' home territory? They are invading!
That is why a bunch of Meepits celebrate when the Meepit wins, because their
territory is safe again! And they cry when they lose because they know the Feepits
will probably eat them for dinner. Yes, Feepits are petpet eaters. Feepits cry
when they lose because they know their fierce Feepit overlords will kill them
for losing. So don't play Meepit versus Feepit at all, so no one gets hurt.
Then there is Meepit Juice Break. This game shows Meepits in a relatively
good light. And yet people are still skeptical. "Why should we feed the Meepits?"
they ask. "They are evil and don't deserve to be fed." Meepits are not evil!
And yes, they do need to be fed by you. Have you ever seen their stubby arms?
They can't get the juice to their mouth. TNT was smart to pay people to feed
them. As you can see if you play the game, they drop dead if they don't get
fed. If people didn't play the game, the number of Meepits would dwindle. That's
bad for the economy. Soon, Meepits would be extinct. Then people would think,
"Gee, I wish that I hadn't thought that Meepits were evil and fed them. I sure
do miss their little cute pink faces. (Starts crying.)" Ah, poor person. This
is why you should play Meepit Juice Break to help the Meepits. Also, the tree
is not some sort of secret Meepit base. This is the work of Meepit haters. The
tree is to get up to the pipes. If it weren't for the tree, there would only
be one pipe and productivity would slow and many more Meepits would die. Also,
in case of an emergency, there is backup juice in the tree. The tree really
helps the Meepits get fed. So help out the Meepits by playing Meepit Juice Break
every day. (Zen mode helps more. More Meepits for less the price!)
Then there are the rumors that Meepits are for world domination and that they
work for TNT and Sloth. These are just rumors! Meepits seem to be people's scapegoats
when they can't think of a good conspiracy. (Technically, I'm also using them
to start a conspiracy, but this is important. Meepits really are being treated
unfairly.) It seems that these rumors have spread quickly, and now everyone
thinks that Meepits are evil. But they aren't and they don't work for Sloth/TNT.
First, Sloth would never hire Meepits. For crying out loud, Meepits are happy
and cute and pink! And Sloth is pure evil. Why would anyone of such evil status
want to hire happy pink minions? It doesn't make any sense! Sloth doesn't have
petpets on his army. (He hasn't gotten to the Feepits yet.) Sloth only controls
mutant Grundos and, quite possibly, evil fuzzles. (Although they might just
work for themselves.)
Then we get to TNT. Meepits do not work for them. TNT hates Meepits. Why else
would they release hordes of Feepits on them, and then blame the Meepits for
the destruction? They make everything hard for Meepits. They play a pretty key
role in Meepit hate. They are the ones who help spread the rumors about Meepits.
Fortunately, TNT has at least some remorse for Meepits. That is why they opened
Meepit Juice Break, to help the Meepit population go stronger from the pummeling
they had received. Plus, this way, they have more Meepits to pummel. (I was
only kidding about the remorse part.) So obviously Meepits do not work for TNT.
There are other things contributing to Meepit hate. Their description, the
"Offline: Hiding from the Meepits" status you can put on your user lookup, the
Meepit chair, and the truly awful Meepapault. I can't imagine who would be heartless
enough to fling a Meepit in the air as a Battledome weapon. The Feepits, maybe,
but they are heartless anyway. Anyway, the "Offline: Hiding from the Meepits"
is a joke; it does not mean they are evil. And I personally don't find the eyes
freaky at all. As for the chair, Meepits don't have that many teeth. They only
have the front one. There is also the fact that Meepits are scary petpets. This
is wrong. Feepits should be scary petpets and Meepits should be normal petpets.
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the OTHER NEOPIAN TIMES ARTICLES! Ok, ok,
calm yourself. But really, you can't go a week without reading some article
or comic about Meepits being evil. The other articles about Meepits being evil
really don't help.
Things don't look good for Meepits. They are pretty rare petpets because of
everyone hating them. (Yet somehow not as rare as pet rocks. I'll never understand
that. I don't think Feepits would find rocks as succulent as Meepits.) But there
is hope. Hopefully this article will bring Meepit lovers together, against the
Meepit haters and Feepits. And maybe some Meepit haters will stop hating Meepits
because of his article. (I doubt the article will have any effect on Feepits.
None of them can read anyway.) So just remember, Meepits are not bad, just misunderstood.
So next time you see a Meepit say, "Aww, how cute," or "Good luck with the
Feepits," or "Would you like some juice?" instead of "Meepits are evil!"
P.S. If you own a Feepit, sell it and buy a Meepit. If not, sell something
else and buy a Meepit.