Neopets: The Next Dimension
It's the year 2049. Imagine it.
You now have kids, your KIDS have kids, maybe some of your KIDS' KIDS have
kids or even - no, I'll stop there, this could get ridiculous.
Whatever your age and situation, you are still highly addic - dedicated - to
Neopets. The site may be very different from when you first typed those little
characters "n e o p e t s . c o m" into your browser's address bar, but you
still happily play with your pets, save up for paintbrushes and morphing potions,
and feed your pets diligently every day or two, ensuring they never go hungry.
Your 48 year old Kacheek is still slaying them (figuratively) in the Battledome.
The secret laboratory ray is a little glitchy these days and patched together
with probably a little too much duct tape, but occasionally it still fires up
and gives you something special.
Inflation is a little nuts with plain omelettes now costing around 10,000np
a bite, but, hey, the same thing is happening in the real world so you grin
and bear it.
And just when you thought neo-life could not get much better, TNT announces
it is planning a HUUUGE surprise for Neopets' 50th anniversary.
Drum roll please.
It's Neopets in VR (or virtual reality for those of us not quite up to date
with the latest acronyms). That's right, an interactive experience unlike any
other. Finally those dreams of being chased by mutant Chia clowns can become
a virtual reality!
So, here you are, in your virtual reality suite with the brand spanking new
Neopets software ready to rock. You flip the switch and voila! You are standing
next to the Rainbow Pool in Neopia Central. Whoa, cool!
Where do you begin? A visit to the Neopian National Bank is probably a good
place to start because you KNOW you're going to want to buy a souvenir or a
slushie. Then next you would probably want to head over to your Neohome so that
you can meet your pets (and their petpets and their petpetpets and heaven forbid
there may even be petpetpetpets by then!). You may get a rude shock when you
try to step onto your dung rug or sleep in your straw bed. But, oh, the pleasure
of sitting in one of those Plushie armchairs! Not so sure about using that spooky
toilet though. Hmmmm.
Right, we've done the meet and greet and we're all acquainted? Good. Grab your
Neopets and start exploring.
Next stop on the VR tour is completely up to you. The wonderful thing about
Neopets is that there is something for everyone and virtual reality would not
change that. If anything, it may just open your eyes up to aspects of Neopets
not yet discovered.
Your first port of call may be the Battledome or the shops or maybe you just
want to explore.
Here are some things that have been suggested around the boards' water coolers:
- Run up to the pant devil and REALLY taunt him with a "na-na-na-na-na-na,
you can't catch me" then turn the VR off so that he really CAN'T catch you.
- Head over to Kelp to find out if the food really IS worth the hundreds of
thousands of Neopoints you spent trying to get that avatar.
- Catch a virtual faerie cloud racer up to Faerieland and try to find the
hidden tower (ouch, too late, found it *rubs nose*).
- Neoquest ... need I say more?
- Hand paint your user lookup.
- Try on your Uni's armour and go toe-to-toe with Punchbag Bob in the Battledome.
- Bow down to Sloth and declare your undying devotion, knowing that if he
ever does manage to take over you can always just switch off Neopets - maybe,
possibly - okay, probably not.
- Chase the Grundo leader when he steals your carefully collected pile of
- Enrol yourself in Battledome training - ninjas or pirates?
- Release the Kass and then report the convenors of "Whack-a-Kass" to the
- Force your pet to swallow a transmogrification potion just so you can watch
- Play beach volleyball with the Myncies.
- Go in search of Jelly World to find out once and for all if it really exists
- Follow the Gebs to the disco.
- Hire a private investigator to track down the Fountain Faerie and demand
Of course, there are some downsides:
- The real TNT staff would have to go into hiding. It just wouldn't do for
poor old Adam to be hobbling down the street with his walking stick and have
some crazed Neopets fan thinking he was holo-Adam and "whack" him!
- Three words: Half Price Day (uhh, no thanks, I think I'll stay away from
the shops that day).
- On reset night each month you would have to have done your weight training
in the days leading up to ensure you were strong enough to grab that elusive
- Some avatars (such as Turmaculus and Snowager) would probably lose their
popularity. Is an avatar really worth risking the life and limb of you or
your precious pet? But then, I guess that means they are rarer, so perhaps
it is an upside!
- You would actually be able to SMELL the dung items - ewwww, gross.
- The Temple of 1000 Tombs. The mind just boggles trying to think about that
- The random event of finding food on the floor would be not quite so appealing.
I mean, do you REALLY want to eat that biscuit that has been sitting there
in the dirt for who knows how long?
- You would willingly fork over 5000np to get that darned mutant Kadoatie
to stop its caterwauling.
I do suggest you walk around with a helmet on, however. Lots of things seem
to fall from the sky in random events and it would be rotten luck if you got
a concussion on your first VR experience.
The possibilities in a virtual world are endless. Everything you have dreamed
of can now be a (virtual) reality. What would you like to taste? Where would
you like to go? Who would you like to meet?
Above all remember that, whether it is today or fifty years from now, whatever
else you do and see and try, Neopets is meant to be fun!
If you are not enjoying yourself, try something different. Games getting boring?
Enter the random contest. Battledome not challenging enough? Try NQII on insane!
Running out of room to express yourself on the boards? Submit an article to
the Neopian Times. Ice cream headache from munching snow with Dieter the Polarchuck?
Throw snowballs at him and other Neopets (just don't hit the faeries) instead.
There is always something going on somewhere in this land; you just need to
take a walk (Uni, faerie cloud racer, pirate ship) and find it!