It was dinner time and, as usual, there were the petty arguments
going on from none other than my fabulous four pets. There was the usual pair
- Cris and Padfoot, the rainbow Aisha and Tyrannian Bori - and of course, Robo
and Clara, the skunk Lupe and (if your head is not already exploding by trying
to remember all of these names, colors, and species) the split Cybunny. I sat
with my head in my soup bowl, listening intently to their arguments, not noticing
the hot soup that swirled around my head.
"Feepits are better and I can prove it!" Cris
shot at her brother, who was shaking his head vigorously.
"Meepits win and it always has been that way!"
Padfoot countered, shaking his Meepits Win T-shirt in Cris's multi-colored face.
Meanwhile, along the table, Robo and Clara were arguing over one of their favorite
"Asparagus is disgusting!" the Lupe declared
to his sister, slamming his stalk of the stuff on the table and causing several
green particles to scatter around the white linen tablecloth.
"It's good for you!" Clara insisted, attempting
to force-feed Robo his asparagus. Disgusted, the Lupe chucked the vegetable
across the table. I felt a heavy thump on the top of my head and knew where
the asparagus had landed.
"Ow..." I gurgled into my soup as my pets stared
at me, dumbstruck.
"Uh... Mum? Are you okay?" Cris, who was closest
to me, tapped my shoulder with her rainbow paw.
"Fine..." I mumbled, pulling my face out of
the stew, which I quickly realized was burning hot. I shot over to the sink
and splashed water on my face while my extremely polite pets laughed. Well,
at least Robo, Padfoot, and Cris did. Clara hurried over to me, looking worried.
She helped me back into my seat.
"Mother, are you okay?" she asked in her most
sophisticated voice. I seriously wonder how she turned out that way sometimes.
But I certainly wasn't complaining as Clara seemed to be the only mature pet
in the family.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," I sighed, although I
clearly wasn't fooling anyone. My pets all stared at me, giving me that, "Oh-Don't-Bother-Trying-To-Say-That-Because-Even-You-Know-We-Don't-Believe-You"
look. I had to give them credit.
"Is something up, Mum?" Cris asked casually.
"No, no, we're fine."
"Are we broke? Did we suddenly become dirt-poor?
NO!" wailed Padfoot, jumping up from his seat and curling himself into his shell,
crying hysterically. Where do they get these ideas?
"No, we're not broke, you can come out, Padfoot."
The Bori poked his head out of his shell. "Now, if you want to know what's wrong,
listen patiently, although there is nothing wrong at all. But if you want to
know why I've been -"
"Get on with it!" Robo cried, pounding a fresh
stalk of asparagus on the table impatiently.
"Okay, okay!" I snapped, leaning back on the
stew-covered table. "Well..." Where to begin? "I got an invitation to visit
our old friends... You know, Clara, Keliza, Prongs, and their owner, Muff...
It's been years since we've seen them, and she finally invited us to -"
I knew by the sound of the explosion that none
of them were fond at all of Muff's pets. True, I wasn't fond of Muff myself,
but perhaps she had changed over the years. And she had sent me an invitation
to a reunion. I couldn't exactly tell her that our pets (and possibly ourselves)
were mortal nemeses.
"No way! I'm not going her house! That Clara
took my name! But she pronounces hers Clair-a, not Clar-a like me!" the Cybunny
cried indignantly, finally dropping her fancy manner and grinding her teeth
in anger. "Plus, she thinks she's better than me!"
"And that Bori's always going on about how he's
the leader of our circle!" Padfoot exclaimed, upsetting the sugar bowl in frustration.
"That Prongs is something else!"
"I wanna go!" Robo whined, licking his lips
happily. "That Chia Keliza looks so good! Last time I only had a little taste
"And Clara thinks her Feepit Snow is better
than my Snowy!" Cris huffed, glaring down at the messed up peas on her plate.
"Quiet! QUIET!" I roared, my long brown hair
still dripping soup on to the messy kitchen floor. I have to hire somebody to
clean that someday. "Now..." I continued calmly as my pets glared daggers at
me. "We will only stay for a little while, just to be polite. You do not have
to interact with the other pets, just a friendly hello will do. Now off to bed!
Slowly, Clara, Cris, Padfoot, and Robo trooped
out of the kitchen and up the stairs, grumbling angrily to each other, their
original arguments forgotten completely. I sighed, dreading the next day as
much as my pets, though I hid it from my face. As I cleaned the kitchen table
of remnants of the almost-food-fight, I thought about how miserable the next
day was going to be...
"Are we there yet?" The typical voice of Robo
jolted me and I whipped my head around, glaring at him.
"Please, Robo, these maps are hard enough to
read without you blathering away," I told him acidly. "It's no fun navigating!"
I flipped the map around several times before
I realized Muff's house was right in front of me. "Oh. Well that was easy,"
I said briskly, forcing my reluctant pets into the house.
The first thing I felt when I entered the house
was a fuzzy, pink bear tackling me. No, wait, that wasn't a bear, that was Muff,
hugging me with a rather scratchy, pink sweater covering her plain white shirt.
She always knew how to accessorize better than me, that was for sure as I stood
there awkwardly in my jeans and T-shirt.
"Welcome to my home, Jamice!" Muff beamed, flipping
her blond hair behind her ears. "Come to the kitchen, I have a nice, little
arrangement set up." She giggled and grabbed my arm, pulling me along a finely
decorated hall. I quickly beckoned for my pets to follow and they did so, dragging
"Er, it's great to see you again, Muff," I said
placidly, unsure of what to say. What, should I have said, "Wow, we haven't
seen each other in years, how come?" No, not the best thing for this occasion.
The kitchen was just as frilly and clean as
the hallway. A neat, little table sat in the middle of the room and three pets
were grouped around it; Prongs, the green Bori, Clara, Cybunny of the same color
as Prongs, and Keliza, the Chokato Chia. They all smiled politely as we entered
and Muff pushed me into a chair.
"Have some tea as you tell me what's been going
on, Jamice," Muff giggled, pouring me some clear, brown tea and passing me a
"Well..." Before I could even start to talk,
the destruction started.
"So, Clara, how's the housework going?" my Clara
asked the other in a falsely interested voice, her different colored eyes icy
cold, even her fiery orange one which seemed almost impossible.
"Well, it's not all fun and games around here!"
Muff's Clara simpered with a tinkly laugh. And I thought my Cybunny was odd!
"You see, every morning, I have to -"
"Nice Feepit, Clara," Cris interrupted hotly,
her own Feepit Snowy flying on to the table, flashing her Faerie wings impressively.
"Oh, she's just... been training." Clara smiled
as she lifted Snow on to the table. Snow, though regularly colored, was just
as attractive as Snowy as she walked elegantly across the table towards the
"We've been training, too!" Cris snapped. "Show
her, Snowy!" Snowy landed on the table with a small plop and held out her tiny
fists. But Snow was too quick for the little Feepit and had already punched
Snowy clean off the table before the faerie Feepit had even had time to resist.
Gasping, Cris dove under the table and retrieved her Feepit, tears streaming
down both of their faces.
Muff and I both stared horrorstruck at each
other, completely speechless. Apparently, she hadn't seen her pets act like
this before either. "I, erm, Cris, put Snowy away!" I tried fruitlessly to stop
the battle right then and there, but it continued, all pets ignoring me.
"So, Prongs, you're the leader, are you?" Padfoot
made no effort to stop the battle and was, instead, continuing it without any
"Of course I am!" Prongs grinned and in a second,
Padfoot was on top of him, whipping his mace-like tail and scratching with his
three-inch claws. Meanwhile, the three girls were shouting furiously at the
other side, Cris and Clara on one team, Muff's Clara on the other.
Keliza the Chia had been sitting quietly in
her seat until now. Of course, her reason for running wildly around the room
was perfectly acceptable; Robo had finally made his promised move and was chasing
her wildly through the forest of chairs, tipping the table over. Muff and I
jumped up, screaming.
Robo wound his way through the kitchen, gaining
on Keliza, his teeth bared. The frightened Chia hopped on to the counter and
retreated to the far end while Robo, drooling and snarling, swiped at her, his
sharp claws barely missing her face.
Just as I was thinking nothing else could go
wrong, Robo jumped on top of the counter and bit the surprised Chia in the bottom.
Then, he grabbed her by the leaves and attempted to run away, like a Cybunny
that had just picked a rather large carrot and didn't want to share it. I had
had enough and apparently, so had Muff.
"STOP! STOP! STOP!" she roared, pulling Padfoot
off Prongs and separating the two Feepits from fighting. Snowy flew on top of
the refrigerator, glaring smugly down at Snow, who couldn't fly.
"NO!" I dove at Robo just as he was leaving with
the whimpering Chia. I tackled him, knocking Keliza out of his mouth. She scampered
away and hid in Muff's arms, who looked like she might explode.
"GET OUT!" she screamed, grabbing Cris and Clara
by the scruffs of their necks and throwing them into the hall. Padfoot followed,
not wanting to be thrown out either. I still had Robo by the fur on his neck
and I quietly backed out.
"NOW!" Muff screeched, her eyes popping. "I NEVER
WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"
I nodded furiously and dragged Robo out. When
I reached the hall, I grabbed my other pets and stumbled towards the door. When
we were out in the open air and several feet away from Muff's large house, I
turned to my pets.
"Now we know why we haven't talked in years."
"Look, Mum, I'm sorry..." Cris started but I
held out my hand to silence her.
"That was awesome!" My pets looked shocked, but
smiled. "C'mon, guys, let's go get slushies..."