Interview with an Edible Pet
Hello readers! I'm about to uncover the truth about Edible Pets! Do they ever
get eaten, do they even eat, and if they do, what do they eat? It actually smells
rather good. Yummy! *mouth waters* *gets slapped by a biscuit Ruki* Ow. Ok, I
think I should get to the interview now, right?
Mani (me)- Readers, I'd like you to meet Zizou, my biscuit Ruki! Hi Zizou!
Zizou- Hi Mani...
Mani- I see that you're a biscuit pet?
Zizou- Yes. You were there when I went to the lab ray...
Mani- For those reading this interview, how about you tell us about yourself?
Zizou- This is an interview? Ok! I'd be glad to do so. My name's Zizou706.
Zizou is fine, though. I was adopted by Mani as a green Ruki. Mani decided I
was her new lab pet, and then I stayed with the Halloween look for a while,
while Buzzthoven was going to the lab ray. After she was made into a Halloween
Mynci, it was my turn again, and then I turned biscuit.
Mani- Thank you! That was very... um... descriptive! Did anyone ever stare
at you and he or she looked like they are about to eat you?
Zizou- Thanks! And Yes. *looks at Mani* Someone is looking at me like that
right this minute.
Mani- Sorry. Ok, do you like being a biscuit pet?
Zizou- Yeah! It's great! Although, sometimes random people come up to you and
ask if they can try to taste you or something... but I guess that's the way
the cookie crumbles! *Zizou laughs* *silence*
Mani- Ok... besides that very bad pun, if you ever are hungry, do you ever
try to eat yourself?
Zizou- I don't understand the question. Did I ever eat myself or did I ever
Mani- Ok, did you ever eat yourself?
Zizou- No. Why would I? It's not like I taste good or anything.
Mani- How do you know you don't taste good? You must have eaten yourself then!
Zizou- I- I heard it from a friend... who is also like me.
Mani- Ok, then how did you get that mark on your arm?
Zizou- Mani, it's a chocolate chip, not a mark.
Mani- Not there Zizou, there... *points at teeth marks*
Zizou- Remember the 'Random People ' thing? That's how I got that.
Mani- Ok, sure you did. So, do you eat biscuits?
Zizou- Yes. The Breadmaster's are the best. They're always fresh made whenever
I go there. They're the best I have ever tasted!
Mani- But... but- what about the ones I make you? I searched through twenty
different recipe books! TWENTY!
Zizou- Uhh... the Breadmaster's don't even umm... compare! Your biscuits are
Mani- Thank you. So, what color are you again?
Mani- So you did eat yourself!
Zizou- Can we move on, please?!
Mani- Oh, all right. Did anyone ever bite you, not knowing you were a living
Zizou- Yeah. Their name starts with an 'M' and they are in this very room,
and then once again, the occasional random people while you go for a walk.
Mani- *looks around* Hey! I never ate you!
Zizou- Do you know what you do in your sleep? Once you tackled Buzzthoven,
stole her scythe and called it your 'puppy'. By the by, what is a puppy anyway?
Mani- *mumbles* Puppies look like Gelerts, but with shorter ears.
Zizou- Do they live in Neopia?
Zizou- Why not?
Mani- Because they don't want to. Ok, how are your siblings reacting to your
Zizou- Pretty well, actually. I'm surprised Jetsam didn't try to eat me yet,
Buzzthoven is amazed by it, and Cream is jealous.
Mani- Ok, I'll talk to Cream about that, Zizou. Now, back to the question about
if anyone ever ate you, and you said I did in my sleep. Ok, I have something
to tell you!
Zizou- Ok. What's that?
Mani- I wasn't sleeping! *laughs* I really am a good actor, aren't I? Ok, now
about what you do in your sleep...
Zizou- Please! Anything but that! Aren't other Neopets and owners going to
Mani- Erm... maybe... actually, yes. Well, I also heard Jetsam complain to
Cream about you. He said, and I quote: "Zizou is so annoying in his sleep! First
of all, he snores, loudly. Second of all, he yells in his sleep. Oh no, not
talking. Yelling. Oh, and thirdly, he sleepwalks and fell on me once when I
was trying to get a midnight snack." End quote. It was rather entertaining,
Zizou- *fakes a laugh* Very funny, Mani. Moving along!
Mani- Ok Fine. Now, since you were adopted, what was your past like?
Zizou- I don't know. Hard to remember. Ever since I changed into a biscuit
pet, I lost all memory of my past. Gee, thanks!
Mani- Well, sorry! It's not like I turned you into a biscuit. If I could, I
would have done that sooner. Anyway, since you are a 'Biscuit' Ruki, do you
ever find a Gelert or Lupe whose mouth waters every time he reads what color
Zizou- What do you mean? Is this referring to me as a Chia Treat?
Mani- Well, no. In my world, pets like you are rewarded with a treat called
a biscuit, but looks nothing like you, so I'll take that question back.
Zizou- What's your world like?
Mani- Just like Neopia except it's different.
Zizou- But, Mani, that makes absolutely no sense!
Mani- Yes I know. I'm not taking up the next few minutes I have explaining
my world. Ok?
Zizou- *rolls eyes* What ever.
Mani- Do you know any other edible pets?
Zizou- Not that I know of...
Mani- But you said your friend you was also edible told you that edible pets
Zizou- Oh, yeah. That's umm... Frank! Yeah, Frank! I thought you already included
Mani- Ok... *scribbles something down on paper* Now, I want to tell you another
thing that's VERY important.
Zizou- You bought us a new house?
Mani- No. You know how I have been working on drawing?
Zizou- Yes... and?
Mani- I draw you all the time!
Zizou- You do what?
Mani- Nothing. Ok, only a few more questions.
Zizou- Ok, but I have to get going soon...
Mani- If you stay, I'll buy you a year's supply of the Breadmaster's biscuits.
Mani- Ok, if you weren't an edible pet, what color would you like to be?
Zizou- That's really hard. I'd have to say Shadow or Starry. Why? Are you thinking
about paint me soon?
Mani- No. Unless you have the Neopoints and the brush, which I highly doubt
Zizou- You're so mean.
Mani- I am not! You're the one who smacked me in the first paragraph!
Zizou- Yeah... I did.
Mani- So what does that make you?
Zizou- Mean, I know.
Mani- Since I'm just about to wrap this up, this there anything else you'd
like to add?
Zizou- Nope! Nothing I can think of!
Mani- Well, thanks for coming down here today!
Zizou- Well, actually, you tricked me into coming here...
Mani- I did not! That was uh... meepits... who learned my handwriting.
Zizou- Sure it was.
Mani- Ok, bye, Zizou! Nice talking to you!
Zizou- But I'm not done yet!
Mani- You've said enough! *pushes Zizou out the door*
I hope that helped you understand edible pets better. Then again, you probably
didn't and just enjoyed Zizou and I arguing, huh? I did learn one thing today.
Never do interviews with pets that look and smell like delicious baked goods.
It just ends up stale. Get it? Stale? Get it? Baked goods? *Zizou peers in door*
"And you called my pun bad? What do you call that?"
"Zizou, do you know what I call that? A ten second head start before I chase
you around the house!"
Well, it's been nice talking to you! Actually I never talked to you at all,
but you get my point. Good bye for now!
Author's note: I hope you enjoyed my first entry in the Neopian Times! Sorry
for the bad puns, I just had to add a few in there. Once again, I hope you enjoyed
it! Oh, and TNT, thanks SO much for putting my article in here.