Preparing Neopia for the Meepits Circulation: 123,710,650 Issue: 248 | 14th day of Swimming, Y8
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Top Ten Ways to Make any Party... Interesting


by kyrmia

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How many times have you invited all your neofriends to a party, only to just sit and stare at the wallpaper sipping punch? Believe me; it’s happened all too often. However, if you follow this simple guide, it will be quite easy to give the guest the time of their lives and a party they will never forget!

We will start off with ten and slowly make our way up to the very best way, so bear with me and keep your socks on (until Way #8, that is).

10. Cleaning Party

First, and the first on the list for all the other ways to make your party totally awesome (except for #9), is to advertise a “totally awesome party” that no one can afford to miss. Absolutely no one. Come up with a catchy slogan. Make a marvelous image advertising your party. Promise that millions of Xweetoks, the coolest pet in Neopia, will be there. Better yet, promise cookies and milk. Do everything you can to make your party look like the best thing ever to hit Neopia – after the discovery of the Xweetok, that is.

After you’ve got a guest list of about 4.5 million, send every one of them a neomail promising a door prize. Once they get there, hand each of them a broom, mop, feather duster, or any such thing and a job to do in the house.

In about two seconds, you will have a sparkling neohome, fed, happy, and groomed pets, and a party thrown that Neopia will never forget.

Three guests’ opinions:

1: “I’m going to put an article in the Neopian Times on this. Yes, I can see it now: The World’s... um... err...”

2: “I think this party earned the ‘Abnormal’ award. It really figures, too; the party that was going to win was based on Meepits...”

3: “That party was over too fast. I never even got started!”

9. The Bruce Army

This is the only exception to the advertisement gig described above. This time, you want to make your party sound even better, but provide private invitations to the most important people in all of Neopia. It might be costly, but you’ll profit greatly in the end. Make a list of all attending.

As we all know, the Bruce Army will someday conquer the world. They will also give Mystery Island and Terror Mountain to the Xweetoks. They never did like the Mountain, but it was easy to camouflage in the snow there. That is, until they found a much better base; *blocked*. That’s right, the Bruce Army’s base is in *blocked*. After you get to the ever elusive *blocked*, go to the Bruce Army Base and give them the list of attendees. They will pick out a few names and hand you a few million NP. Believe me; this is for the greater good.

Lock all the important guests in your neohome along with lots of food, water, making sure you are on the outside, and then give them the go-ahead.

The go-ahead for what, you might ask? Why, to conquer the world. Weren’t you paying attention to the text?

After about five minutes, all the paperwork will be signed for the Bruce owning all except for Mystery Island and Terror Mountain. They will arrive at your neohome, give you the other half of your pay, another few million NP. You unlock your neohome, let the Bruce collect the people they picked off your guest list, and then you’ll lock it up again.

Within a few days, you will have assisted the nationwide Bruce dream and earned millions of NP.

3 guest opinions were not available, as the attendees were all either gagged or taken away. Some had both happen.

8. Operation Socks

This is an easy one, but diabolical in its own little way.

First, fill a pot with sour milk, rancid potatoes, overcooked broccoli, and molding vegetables, fruits, and bread. Boil it (make sure you have a clothespin over your nose). Soak your socks in this solution while you mix the ingredients for a cake. Make the cake seem the most delectable thing in the world.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Convince the guests that the worse it smells the better it tastes!

Feed the cake to the guests and watch them.

3 guest opinions were not available. They were all gagging on the cake... except for one oddball...

1: “That was the best cake I’ve ever had! Can you give me the recipe!?!?!?!?”

What’s more, I could see a big hunk of sock hanging out of his mouth, which was quickly sucked in and a peaceful look came over his face like he was savoring the taste.

7. Fear the Meepits!

After your advertising investment, order an army of Meepits. Tell them to hang out by the window. When the guests comment on what beautiful and plentiful rosebushes you have by that window, beam with pride and tell them that they’re the best event of everyone’s lives.

Once you have all the guests seated at the table and tucked in to a delicious meal, sneak over to the window (make sure it’s not in the same room) and let the Meepits in one by one. Direct them to the dining room.

Listen to the screams of your guests as cute, lovable Meepits filter into the room through all entrances, giving them hugs, kisses, and unbearably and irresistibly cute faces and plushie Meepits.

3 guest opinions were not available here, either. They were too busy curling into tiny balls of fear. Then, of course, there’s always that oddball ... his opinion wasn’t available either. He was too busy cuddling thirty-two Meepits.

6. Fyora’s Fortune

This is the biggest, greatest rip-off of them all.

Once your guests arrive, give them all 5,000,000 NP. Once you land in Faerieland, fly to the castle and drop them off in the Hidden Tower, telling them to go absolutely crazy with those NP.

Don’t tell them that those same NP were stolen from Fyora, the same person that runs the Hidden Tower, until the Faerie Secret Police come and pick up all your guests.

3 guest opinions were not available. Not even the oddball made it; he donated his NP to the Money Tree, and that resulted in a long chase for them. It was quite entertaining to watch.

5. The Kadoatery

After you finish your advertising campaign, head over to the Kadoatery. Speak to Balthazar (he’s spending time there for eating petpets; it’s pure torture for him, what with all the delectably adorable Kadoaties there). Convince him to get the Kadoaties to crave Draik eggs, like they did in the beginning.

Once all the Kadoaties really want those eggs, bring all your guests outside the Kadoatery. Give them a long, irresistible speech about poor, starving Kadoaties that only want one item from them. That’s all, one item. Lead them inside and watch their pained expressions as they give away their hard-earned Draik eggs to the petpets.

3 guest opinions were not available. They were all too busy crying their eyes out. As for the oddball... well... he ate the egg himself. He claimed that it was delicious before he passed out and had to be picked up by the Neopian hospital.

They said that he was lucky to have made it. It’s too bad.

4. Two Words

This one is short and sweet and rather self-explanatory. There are just two words to it:

Lab Ray.

Honestly, who doesn’t want to be strapped to a table and zapped by the lab ray?

3 guest opinions were not available; they were not ... themselves. For some odd reason, I was suddenly faced with a room full of Quiggles. The oddball became a Lenny.

Hehehehehe...

3. Balthazar

This time, you want to target all those rich Neopians that have super-expensive petpets, especially those Neopians that have a Kacheek that have a super-expensive, pedigree petpet. Make sure you have invited the petpets to come.

Once they are all seated in your living room, or dining room, or wherever those 4.5 million guests will fit, smuggle in the guest that you secretly invited last.

Balthazar.

He’s going to come in through a side or back door. Make absolute sure that no one sees you open the door for him. The easiest way to do this is to make sure there are no guests in that room.

Tell Balthazar to wait in this side room, then ask the guests to pool their petpets together into a pen for a special show booked just for them. Once they have all done it, lock them into a giant, super-strong, unbreakable glass cubicle that you had custom made for the event. Make sure the cubicle is comfortable so they don’t suspect anything.

Give Balthazar the signal and he will jump in and eat your guests’ expensive, pedigree petpets worth 100K NP.

3 guest opinions were not available. I forgot where the key to the lock for the door on the cubicle went.

2. Magical Disappearing Act

Once all your guests have been in your house for a while, open the secret skylight you had installed that opens up your whole roof. Contact Sloth and shine a giant green light into space for him to follow.

Run out of the house and hide in a bush. Then close your eyes.

After a long period of screams, tractor beams, Grundo calls, and then finally silence, open your eyes.

All of your guests will have “magically” disappeared.

Later, you’ll get a note from Sloth, thanking you for the 4.5 million new slaves he had on his space station.

3 guest opinions were not available. They were all too busy scrubbing the floor of Sloth’s new secret space station. Of course, there’s always the oddball... who was enjoying himself.

1. Step Right Up!

This is the best way to make your Neopian party unforgettable. Not to mention it’s affordable, unlike most of the other ways listed here.

First, get all of your 4.5 million guests to Tyrannia somehow and lead them onto the plateau. Next, give them 100 NP and line them up in front of the Wheel of Monotony.

They will be instantly captivated and they will sit and watch the Wheel for the hour that it takes to stop spinning.

Time left until the last guest has spun the wheel: 37,500,000 days.

3 guest opinions:

1: “Come on! Land on the paint brush!”

2: “NOOOOO!!!!”

3: “How many more people until I get my turn? 3 million?”

The oddball was enjoying himself.

There you have it! 10 ways to make your party simply unforgettable! These party ideas are so contagious that the guests can stay at your party for 37,500,000 days or more! Have fun making your party dreams come true!

P.S. Say hi to Sloth and Balthazar for me, won’t you?

Do not actually try this on your account.

 
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