The Elusive Flotsam: Searching for a Place in Neopia
Ah yes, the Flotsam; adored by some, disliked by others. Currently, at the time
of typing, the Flotsam is ranked 23rd among the most popular pets. According to
the Neopets Team, roughly 1.68% of Neopets are Flotsam. Flotsam are enjoyable
creatures who love to have company. I, otherwise known as Flot in these interviews,
am a great fan of this spectacular creature, as well as many other Neopians. But
as far as I’m concerned, I have seen very few famous Flotsam in Neopian history.
Because of this, I went to interview three of the most well-known Flotsam here
My journey began in the prehistoric Tyrannia. After braving my way through
the Tyrannian Jungle, I found my way into the small, yet comforting Tyrammet
Village. The peaceful village humbly helped me find the person I was looking
for, Plesio, the captain of the Tyrannian Sea Division. I politely asked him
to sit and chat with me for a few minutes.
Flot: Good day, Plesio.
Plesio: I suppose it is.
Flot: Right, right. On to the interview. Do you think the Tyrannian Sea Division
helped at all in the attack to defeat the Monoceraptor?
Plesio: OF COURSE IT DID! Who do you think swam up to the Monoceraptor and
fired Water Muffins at him? The Tyrannian Sea Division!
Flot: I haven’t read about in the history books.
Plesio: Well honestly, it happened. You believe me. *ding!* Oh dear, my Water
Muffins are ready. Care to stay and have some? They’re very moist.
Flot: Err, no thanks. I’m good. Thanks for your time.
After my trip to Tyrannia, it was off to brave the seas. I was off to that
mysterious island about sixty kilometers off the coast of Krawk Island. If only
I could remember the name of that mystery island… As I arrived on shore to the
island I was greeted by a few exotic Neopets.
“Welcome to Mystery Island!” said a Blumaroo in a pink grass skirt. I guess
the founders of the island were lacking in the creativity department. That’s
too bad; I would have called it the Island of Mystery. But in any case, I carried
on through the tropical island, catching a glimpse of the beautiful Techo Mountain,
learning a few moves at the Training School, and looking at some interesting
fruits. But as I finished devouring the last of the little morsels, I heard
the panicking of a worried chef, looking for his ingredients for his next dish.
I walked up to his counter and saw a sign:
Meal: Cheesy Kippers and Lime Tortillas
Deadline: 1 hr(s) and 54 min(s) left
Ingredients Needed: Metal Ice Cream Sundae, Qando Bread, Chilled Eyeball Custard,
I walked up to the infamous Underwater Chef of the Mystery Island Kitchen
and asked him for a couple of minutes for an interview.
Flot: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Chef.
Underwater Chef: Well it’s always a pleasure to be interviewed, but please
hurry up, Mumbo Pango is still shouting and I don't think I can stand it anymore!!!
Flot: Don’t worry this will be brief. So, we know you can cook, but how do
you come up with such clever rewards for people who have found you the right
Underwater Chef: Well it’s quite simple actually. I first—
Mumbo Pango: CHEF! WHERE IS MY CHEESY KIPPERS AND LIME TORTILLAS?!
Underwater Chef: I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING. YOU’RE JUST GOING TO HAVE
TO WAIT FIVE MINUTES LONGER THAN EXPECTED. DEAL WITH IT.
Flot: Err, right so you are very busy making meals that are demanded by the
most prestigious Neopets, and some of the people of Mystery Island, such as
Mumbo Pango. Doesn’t that put you under tons of pressure and stress?
Underwater Chef: Well I learned to deal with all the pressure I’m put on, but
I still get very exhausted. So that’s why I ask the friendly people of Neopia
to help me whenever they pay a visit to my Kitchen. But some people just don’t
have any patience so I have to give people a time limit, as you can see by my
sign over there. But the stress isn’t at all a factor to me.
Flot: I see. Well thank you for your time, Chef.
Underwater Chef: The pleasure was all mi—
Mumbo Pango: CHEF, IT’S BEEN 6 MINUTES. I WANT MY CHEESY KIPPERS AND LIME TORTILLAS!
Underwater Chef: *sigh* Why doesn’t he just order pizza? If only he would buy
me more ingredients. I’m so tired of this...
Flot: I wish I could help but I’m flat out broke on Neopoints.
Underwater Chef: Oh really?
Oh dear! You have 154,637 Neopoints! Only really poor people (under 3,000 NP)
can get handouts at the Soup Kitchen.
Flot: Err. Well that’s for emergencies and such.
Underwater Chef: I’m so sure. GET ME MY INGREDIENTS OR I WILL—
I hightailed my way out of that kitchen and to the beach to relax in the sun.
But little did I know that crazed chef was still after me. I had nowhere else
to go except to the ocean. I swam out into the water and lost that insane chef
only about 5 meters off shore. I realized then that I could easily find my next
point of interest here, in the majestic deep of Neopia. I swam back to the other
side of the island, grabbed some scuba gear, and dived down into the depths
of sea. Seeing the astounding coral reef inhabited by aquatic Petpets, I looked
for my next subject. Soon enough, the Petpets were unaware of what was about
to happen to them next. A net soon overcame the poor Baby Blu and Peadackle
that were playing on the reef. I just encountered the Flotsam I was looking
for; the Flotsam Hunter. It would be a problem for me to interview him underwater,
so I followed him to the surface where he dropped off his catch at the Mystery
Island Rock Pool. He agreed to a few questions.
Flot: It’s a pleasure to have an interv—
Flotsam Hunter: Yeah, yeah, cut the small talk and get to yer questions already.
I have a lot more work to do today.
Flot: Righto then. On average, how many Neopoints do you make daily?
Flotsam Hunter: It depends on what I catch. If I catch a school of Baby Blu,
I get around 10,000 for each one. If I only get some cheap Nurannas, then I
only get around 5,000 for each one. And the Nurannas are sent to the Neopia
Central Petpet Shop.
Flot: I see. So you pretty much depend on your daily catches to bring home
the bacon each day, as one would say.
Flotsam Hunter: I guess you could say that. But I usually, during the summer,
Baby Blu schools migrate to the warmer waters of Mystery Island. So I’m ready
to bring in whole Snorkles! Not just strips of bacon.
Flot: YOU’RE GOING TO EAT THOSE POOR SNORKLES?! I MEAN, BRINGING IN AQUATIC
PETPETS FOR NEOPOINTS IS OKAY, BUT SNORKLES?! ANYTHING BUT THE SNORKLES!!!
Flotsam Hunter: ...Wow, you’re an idiot.
Flot: Well, at least I don’t eat Snorkles!
Flotsam Hunter: I just used your metaphor, but I manipulated it so that instead
of bringing home bacon, I’m bringing in Snorkles because of the fact that I’m
going to make a ton of Neopoints this summer because of the Baby Blu schools.
Flot: Oh… Maybe I’m not the brightest crayon on the bulb after all.
Flotsam Hunter: I guess not. Well I need to finish up my hunting.
Flot: Well, thanks for the interview! Don’t eat any Snorkles!
I walked to the harbor where my boat was waiting, taking good care that I
wasn’t noticed by the Underwater Chef. I got in my boat and traveled back to
Neopia Central, where I rested in my Neohome for the night.
My journey for famous Flotsam of Neopia was worth it. I just hope that one
day, when Neopia’s worlds are in war, the courageous hero that saves the day,
comes from deep under the sea. A creature so marvelous, so breathtaking, it
stops violence between any two conflicting worlds as soon as eyes lay upon it.
What could this creature be perhaps? It is the almighty, astounding, elusive
Flotsam; still searching for its place in Neopia.
No Snorkles were eaten in the making of this article.