Codename: Secret Conversation
Codename: Secret Conversation!
The Neoboards; a place for people to meet and have a chat, ask questions, roleplay,
advertise their items or just generally have fun. But, like all good things
there’s something bad in the middle of it all. Shall I spell it out for you…?
Now don’t get me wrong here, hardly anyone brags about their luck on purpose,
they just want to share their incredible luck! Usually they express this on
their own boards, which is all well and fine. But when they enter onto YOUR
board and start non-stop bragging, then it can get a little tedious, like so:
Friend 1: Hey, so how as your day?
Friend 2: Oh, it was okay…got 10, 000 NP from the Slot Machine...
Braggart: HAH! That’s nothing! I always get one million...EVERY TIME!
Friend 2: Er, yeah…so, you…?
Friend 1: Oh, not bad…got a Brown Negg from the Snowager.
Braggart: LAME! I always get a golden Negg…EVERY TIME!
Friend 2: Go play the Wheel of Monotony, and give us two hours peace, OK?
Braggart: NO! And anyway, I always get Paint Brushes from the Wheel…EVERY TIME!
Yes, well, enough of that…you get my point, don’t you. Even the simplest little
braggart can slowly turn tedious and annoying, instantly ruining the reunion
you probably spent ages preparing (and another thing, putting “PRIVATE CONVERSATION,
NO UNINVITED PEOPLE” as you topic title isn’t going to make them go away.
In fact, it’s like giving a Meepit a cup of juice and telling it to give it
to someone else; they’ll probably be more likely to appear if they’re “forbidden”
Now, if the private conversation is just between you and another friend, then
the answer is simple!
...By the way, Neomail was the answer you were looking for there.
But what if it were to be more than two people? What if, say, it was you, your
best friend and their best friend who-you-didn’t-really-like-but-put-up-with-anyway?
Neomail doesn’t do multiple recipients (yet), so what are you going to do? Unless
you have one of these Instant Messaging programs everyone’s going on about,
you’ll just have to resort to the Neoboards. But you DON’T your chat constantly
interrupted by braggers, guild/shop/trade/auction advertisers or anyone else,
right? So what’s a guy/gal to do?
Use TC’s™ Amazing Neopian Chat Codes, that’s what! These are a selection of
various codes that, to the untrained (or uninformed) eye look just like some
people typing with their noses…when they’re actually having a conversation that’s
virtually impossible to interpret!
First, of course, there is the Morse code. Known to nearly everyone over the
age of sixteen (or, at least anyone that has those little flashlights with the
code on them), Morse code consists of just dots and dashes:
• A .-
• B -...
• C -.-.
• D -..
• E .
• F ..-.
• G --.
• H ....
• I ..
• J .---
• K -.-
• L .-..
• M –
• N -.
• O ---
• P .--.
• Q --.-
• R .-.
• S ...
• T -
• U ..-
• V ...-
• W .--
• X -..-
• Y -.--
• Z --..
• Space /
There are, of course, other bits for question and exclamation marks, but this
is enough to be getting on with, I think you’ll find (NOTE: where I’ve put space,
I mean the spaces between the words. You have to put an actual space between
each letter, so as to avoid them running together and getting mixed-up)…see
if you can decipher this message:
-…. .. …/.. …/…. --- .--/-.-- --- ..-/-.. ---/.. - !
Did you get that? If not, don’t worry, it means it would be an effective code
to keep you out of the conversation, so I’ve put the answer at the bottom.
For those of you that had no trouble at all at de-coding the message, well
done! You have an advantage…for now. For, mark my words, it won’t be long before
everyone knows Morse code if you use it in all of you’re conversations. So what
to take as the next step?
Introducing this time the TC™ Neopian Number Cruncher Code! For this, you’ll
need to arrange one piece of information beforehand, and that is a number between
2 and 26…you can see where this is going, can’t you? Once a number has been
decided between you and your mates, write that number down, find what letter
comes under that number in the alphabet, start at the letter A, and continue
the alphabet on from that number! Once you get to 26 you should have a few numbers
still to go (choosing the number one is just silly, as the alphabet would be
the same), just carry on the alphabet from 1 to the last number. Here’s an example
for all you visual learners out there. I’ll choose my age, 17:
A 17B 18C 19D 20E 21F 22G 23H 24I 25J 26K 1L 2 M 3N 4O 5P 6Q 7R 8S 9T 10U
11V 12W 13X 14Y 15Z 16
See? Depending on what number you choose, the outcome of the alphabet will
always be different! Now see if you can read this secret message using the prepared
code above (NOTE: There’s no need to use /’s as spaces in this code, but you
DO need to put a dash between numbers. Otherwise, just write it as you would
25-22 15-5-11 19-17-4 8-21-17-20 10-24-25-9 10-24-21-4 13-21-2-2 20-5-4-21!
Again, it may take some time to write you messages, but at least what is being
said is just between you and your mates. And besides, you’ll get better and
faster with practise! The answer to this message, for those of you that can’t
solve it (or are just too lazy), is included with the first at the bottom.
But now would be a good time to draw your attention to one annoying point.
The letter “E,” I’m sure you know, is the most commonly-used letter in the English
language. There were nine in that last sentence! Anyway, make your conversation
too long, and someone is bound to realise that the number 21 crops up an awful
lot. From that tiny bit of information all they need to do is work their way
around the rest of the alphabet…and you secret conversation is no longer.
So how to make a 100% foolproof code that no one would ever have a hope of
cracking if they weren’t in the know, I hear you desperately scream?
Well, I guess now would be a good a time as any to reveal my Grande Finale:
The TC™ CodeWord Code! This is a great code to use if you really want no outsides
to read what you are saying...but how can you be so sure they won’t crack it?
Won’t they realise that one letter is being used instead of “E”? Maybe, but
they still will never crack it…merely because you haven’t told them the CodeWord!
This has to be a word with each letter in it appearing only once. Once you have
decided on a word, write it down, a carrying on the alphabet as you did with
the Number Cruncher Code! Here’s how (I’ll use the word “JETSAM” as my CodeWord):
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
J E T S A M B C D F G H I K L N O P Q R U V W X Y Z
Now, you’ll most likely always have the last couple of letters stay the same…but
don’t panic! You haven’t done anything wrong, and no one will ever guess! As
long as you keep the fact that “JETSAM” was your CodeWord, even the greatest
code-cracker will be left in the dark. Try this last message using the code
above (this one you can just type normally):
WAHH, D BUAQQ RCDQ DQ “BLLSAYA” MPLK KA…CJVB MUK!
But before I go, one more thing (Geez, he never stops, does he?). If you still
want to make doubly sure no one other than your selected friends will know what
you’re writing in code, feel free to mix-up all three…even add your own elements!
Keep it secret – keep it coded!
ANSWERS TO CODES:
1) Morse: “This is how you do it!”
2) Number Cruncher: “If you can read this then well done!”
3) CodeWord: “Well, I guess this is “goodbye” from me…have fun!”