Breaking into Alien Aisha Vending Ltd.
All for a Brother…
Detective Khargana's Mission: Successful Retrieval of Vital AA Document
"You're kidding, right?"
"No way, bud. I ain't jokin' one bit, and I'll
shut your mouth for ya if ya say I am one more time."
"But no one, I mean, no one has ever successfully
broken into Alien Aisha Vending Ltd. I mean, the whole idea is preposterous!"
A green Wocky glanced up from her Neocola and
across to her companion sitting opposite the small club table from her. Her
glinting eyes were in shadow beneath a large black kauboy hat with a twisted
silver band. Her muscles rippled warningly underneath her black faux kau-hide
jacket. "I said ta watch yer mouth. An' I didn' ask ya if somethin' was possible.
I asked ya for the blueprints and any info ya got on the site," she growled.
The blue JubJub warily eyed the dangerous looking
Wocky. The Wocky detracted her sharp claws and started tapping them against
the Neocola can impatiently. "When I said ta watch yer mouth, I didn't mean
ta shut it, though I may tell ya to later. I meant tell me what I asked ya to,
or I ain't paying ya a crummy single NP."
The JubJub tried a chuckle, but choked halfway.
"Errm. Yes, ma'am. I, well, took the liberty of copying it all down…" He pushed
a manila envelope across the short table.
The Wocky slowly retracted her claws and reached
for the large brown envelope. She flicked open the flap, took out the stack
of papers, and gingerly flipped through the sheets. Obviously engrossed, she
tipped back her hat to show an intelligent face, though not beautiful by any
means, with two shrewd, slanted brown eyes. She turned back to page one, the
first page of the miniaturized blueprints, and examined them carefully with
the adroit knowledge no one short of a true bounty hunter (or an architect for
that matter) was thought to possess.
"Umm, ma'am? My pay?"
"Oh, yes, of course." For a second she seemed
to have lost the accent and forgotten herself, but she abruptly came back to
the present, yanked her hat brim back down, and spoke with a low gangster drawl.
"Here's ya money, an' don't ya dare come cryin' back ta me for more!" She flicked
a rubber-banded pile of NP bank notes at him.
The JubJub counted them, wary that the Wocky
might be trying to cheat him but not sure what to do if it turned out she had.
To his surprise, all 3,000 Neopoints were there, all nicely bundled in hundreds.
Thirty crisp one hundred NP bank notes, he nearly fainted with relief.
The Wocky smirked knowingly while watching the
JubJub's face. Not because the notes were fake, far from it, and neither were
they stolen. It was because he was such a silly little small timer. Any real,
regular informant would've charged at least 10,000 for such a dangerous job.
As things happened, the contractor himself, Forsythe Alexander Jubjub, was in
a pile of debt entirely his own fault. All the better for her…
Shoving back her chair roughly, the Wocky stood
up and stretched. She tipped her hat saucily at the bartender, a rather large
and roguishly handsome Red Kougra, and slipped through the club and out the
The bartender shook his head as he wiped the
table and watched her exit. "Now whatever is Queenie up to?" he whispered to
The club owner, a knock-'em-dead handsome Brown
Wocky in an all black suit, had also observed the meeting and the Wocky's quick
departure. "Oh, Khargana," he sighed. "That ol' Detective will get herself killed
one of these days."
Wocky Detective Khargana mulled over the facts
as she slipped out of the tough black leathers and stored them in an old pirate
chest in a corner of her office. Preoccupied, she slipped on her signature floor-length
suede vest and opened the small door of the mini-fridge that Kay, her owner,
had invented for her personal use (mainly because the silly human had simply
wanted to take apart their new refrigerator and didn't want to bother putting
the whole thing back together). Intending to grab a Neocola, she hesitated at
the last second and whipped around.
"DeSoni, I figured it'd be you."
"Aww, how'd you hear me? Never mind, I'll get
you one of these days."
DeSoni, her new brother, had been trying to sneak
up behind her. Of course, he hadn't yet succeeded in catching her off guard,
but he didn't intend to give up so easily. He was an incredibly tiny yellow
Aisha, or so most everyone believed. Khargana and Kay knew him to be, by birth
and blood, an Alien Aisha traitor as well as a mechanical, mathematical, and
As any Neopian who's ever visited the Space Station
knows, Alien Aishas have six ears: two small, feline ears, and four long, stalk-like
ears. In contrast are Neopian Aishas, who have four ears: two small and two
stalks. For a reason no one quite knows, DeSoni had tragically been born with
the four ears typically associated with Neopians, though extensive tests and
whatnot had proved beyond a doubt that he really was Alien.
And therein lies the mess Khargana was getting
herself into for nothing other than sentimentality, a landmark moment. But,
for now anyway, she tried to explain her intentions to herself as simple and
With a hop, DeSoni managed to climb onto Khargana's
large desk and perch himself on the edge. He looked curiously over the scattered
mementoes of past accomplishments and current investigations underway. He still
found it extraordinary that she rarely worked on less than three cases at a
"Whoa, Khargana! You've got two personality summaries,
a criminal record, several NT clips, and countless miscellaneous notes and debris!
Still working on the Caytie background info, huh?" Then he noticed the envelope
Khargana had brought back from the club. "That's new! What is it?" He reached
for it with a typical brotherly nosiness.
With incredibly quick reflexes, Khargana jumped
across the room and snatched it. "You can look through that garbage all you
like," she motioned at her desk. "But this baby is incredibly hush-hush and
off-limits." She rolled up the envelope and reached over for her memo-briefcase,
a typical black business suitcase, except for the fact that it was really a
disguised minicomputer she'd made on the Space Station. (Long story. I'll get
around to telling it one of these days.)
DeSoni was about to protest when he noticed the
odd way the detective was eyeing him up and down, as if making up her mind on
something important. He fidgeted a little. Khargana still intimidated him despite
his having lived in the same Neohome as her for well over two months. Her direct
eyes switched back to his face.
"Uhh…" DeSoni's eyes drifted towards the ground
and he hopped down from the desk. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a
tiny sketching of a gizmo Khargana had been working with. "You know how you
said your pocket scanner was on the blitz? Well, I was a little bored and…"
Khargana suddenly laughed: a warm, pleasant chuckle.
"And you redrew the prints from my originals and made the necessary adjustments
for me?" She shook her head as if accepting the inevitable.
"Well, a guy does all he can for his cool new
sis… and I was bored…" He blushed a little, annoyed with himself for the surge
of emotion that'd motivated him to update the gizmo's schematics for her. DeSoni
really wanted his big sister to approve of him, though he'd yet to understand
why. He'd never had a sister, and it was odd wanting to impress someone just
because they were cool and family. He'd never felt this way, even with his natural
Khargana chuckled some more and motioned him
out of her office. "Thanks, DeSoni. You really saved me time. I'm gonna be pretty
busy with a big job for a while." Her eyes drifted to the rolled envelope she
still held in her paw. "Anyway, thanks and good job."
DeSoni nodded, feeling a little proud of himself,
and left the room.
"Yes," Khargana whispered to herself as she stared
at the envelope before opening it again. "I'm gonna be really busy for a while."
Her eyes darted towards the now closed door to her office. "But he's worth it.
He deserves it."
She pulled out the blueprints and flipped her
memo-briefcase back out of standby mode. "Now to construct a few 3D models and
plan the most direct, yet strategic, path to his lordship's headquarters."
Behind the locked door of Khargana's office,
she toiled for hours constructing her plans. The Wocky never once glanced toward
the door or abandoned her work for a break. Her only pauses were actually long
studies of the mini-blueprints.
The security was pretty basic, but unfortunately
thorough. There was, however, one path not under any surveillance at any time.
A horrid security breach, but she wasn't a building inspector. She was an investigator,
and for DeSoni she would work as a retriever.
She programmed several 3D models into her memo-briefcase.
She would have to go rather low on her standard equipment level to get this
job done, but that was okay. But she needed the briefcase's schematics. Breaking
and entering was only a minor talent, she didn't work it often enough to be
great. And what she was doing was fully illegal. Completely and one-hundred
But this was for DeSoni.
She had to go through the vents of Alien Aisha
Vending Ltd., up 12 floors, into the manager's office. Nearly half the way was
straight up, and the other half was nearly too small for her to squeeze through.
Wocky Detective Khargana, in her brown suede
vest with memo-briefcase in paw, slipped silently out of the air vent she'd
been crouching in and into self-appointed 'Lord' Frederick Collaborator's office.
Sir Collaborator was the current manager of Alien Aisha Vending Ltd. He was
also, as Khargana's unusual form of 'research' had found, an underling of the
Alien Aisha military and the 'respectful' front of the company itself. Or so
According to a different source, incidentally
a maid that cleaned the upper two floors of the 12 story building, his lordship
liked to sleep-in and didn't come up to his office until about 9:00 am NST,
which fits this early morning investigator just fine. It was currently about
3:00 am NST, so she shouldn't have anything to worry about-though she wasn't
so rash as to let her guard down.
Carefully she stepped over where her security
3D model had told her the laser defensive scanners were, meticulously making
sure her tail didn't drag through the invisible lasers either. In actuality
though, the security of the office was pretty lax. All laser sensors and traps
directly inside and outside the door and only two trip sensors inside the actual
office, and absolutely no security in the vents. Hah! And she'd been expecting
She chuckled to herself and flipped open her
memo-briefcase on an empty spot on his perfectly organized desk. Everything
was set in piles and stapled with little memos written on top of what to do
with each stack. She chuckled a little to herself and examined the third 3D
model, this one of his interior office. She scratched her neck ruffle thoughtfully
and looked around. There were four huge file cabinets behind the desk, with
a further three built into the executive desk itself. It could be anywhere.
She hopped over the desk, as that was faster
than walking around, and examined the titles of each file along the wall behind
the desk. There were three files to each of the four file cabinets, so there
were 12 separate files on that wall alone. The first cabinet was devoted to
personnel, with the first file being for current employees, the second for blacklisted
employees, and the third was unnamed, but Khargana gathered after flipping through
it that it was for undercover employees or spies.
To her utter surprise, DeSoni was not in the
blacklisted file, for what reason she couldn't think, as he was obviously a
traitor to the Alien Aishas and the Vending Company was clearly a front. Though
still confused, she examined the other two cabinets. The second was devoted
to boring research and contained numerous blueprints, documents of current projects,
and even a couple prototypes. The third cabinet was entirely full of recipes,
which she supposed shouldn't surprise her so much considering the supposed front
for the company. And the fourth was devoted to past, successful projects.
She rubbed her pawprints off the cabinets with
a small cotton cloth from her vest and turned to the desk. It had to be in one
of those three remaining files. Unfortunately, they were locked.
Oh well, nothing she couldn't handle. She glanced
over at the NST clock on the wall: 3:45 am. She'd taken much longer then she'd
expected already. With a touch of flourish, she pulled a set of skeleton keys,
also known as lock picks, out from another of her voluminous vest pockets. She
had a gizmo she'd invented for a break-in of a room in the high-tech Space Station
that could open any lock in less then three seconds, but where's the fun in
In about ten seconds, give or take, Khargana
had the first file in the desk open. And apparently she'd chosen the right file,
as there was a large brown folder right on top with the wording "Special Report
of Ex-Agent Derek Sonix--Confidential" written on top. She flipped open to the
first page and found a rather handsome photo of her new brother along with what
must be the source code: "Alien Aisha Secret Files: Section 523D, Subsection
B3, Listing: Derek Sonix".
"This is it," the detective whispered to herself
in awe, despite the fact that she had been sure the whole time that it was in
the office somewhere. She flipped the folder closed. Only one thing bugged her.
From experience, she knew company executives, politicians, billionaires, and
the like only kept active files in their desks. True, the file was secret, but
it was in the very top file, the most easily accessible one. No one in their
right mind left an important and top-secret document in the top file of their
desk unless it was currently being worked on. "Not good," grumbled the Wocky,
worrying a little for her brother's sake.
Suddenly the door to the office banged open,
and three Alien Aisha guards in blue uniforms dashed in. Khargana quickly yanked
out her laser stunner/knife and used it to short-circuit the light switch so
the guards wouldn't flick on the lights and see her clearly.
Thankfully, they were more brave than wise. "Gotcha,
thief! Don't move a muscle!" shouted the one in command.
"Ya gotta be kidding me," said Khargana succinctly,
flipping onto the desk. "No offense, buddies, but how can ya expect anyone ta
follow that lame advice?" She bent down and in two quick motions placed the
folder on top of the hidden keyboard and flicked the briefcase closed. Out of
the corner of her eye she noticed none of them had any stunners or other weapons.
How could they even call themselves guards? Relying on their system to monitor
the building, terribly unprofessional.
"You'll never get away with this!" shouted the
brave leader. "You're stealing, trespassing, and guilty as charged."
Khargana chuckled meanly and lithely leaped toward
the vent, memo-briefcase and contents safely in paw. She couldn't resist a parting
shot. "Ya gotta catch me to charge me, dimbulb! And may I suggest you up your
security? Or at least start carrying weapons!" She laughed, slamming the vent
closed from the inside and disappearing from view. All the guards could hear
of her was a faint chuckle and the quick tapping against the metal as she dashed
"Sir? Do we follow?"
"Leave it. You'll never catch a professional
Wocky thief in the vents, especially as whoever that was, was correct about
The commanding Alien Aisha guard flicked his
four earstalks in annoyance and walked over to Lord Collaborator's desk. He
shut the file, though not before noticing which folder was missing. "Now why
would anyone want that?" he wondered aloud to himself as he locked the desk
with a small key, not realizing he was wiping out the detective's paw prints
for her as he examined the keyhole for signs of scratches or damage, of which
there, naturally, was neither.
"Sir? Course of action?" asked the third guard.
The leader sighed. "Call up Lord Collaborator
and tell him some anonymous rogue stole the Derek Sonix file. No matter, his
lordship has copies, but be careful. You know he can have quite a temper."
"Khargana? Is that you?" moaned a sleepy DeSoni,
yawning and coming down the stairs just in time to see the Green Wocky enter
the house. "It's 5 am NST. I know you said you'd help me in the morning with
my shop stocktaking, but seriously…"
Khargana smiled cheerfully, wide-awake and clear-minded.
"I went out to get you a gift, bro!"
DeSoni halted in mid-yawn from shock. Khargana
had never called him bro before, even though he'd called her sis from the beginning.
And, a gift? Why so early in the morning, if you can even call it morning when
the sun wasn't even up?
Khargana cheerfully sat down on the bottom step
of the stairs and waited for DeSoni to make it the rest of the way down. He
plopped down next to her, his two Aisha earstalks sleepily drooping in his face.
He yawned. "Thanks and all, Khar, but can't it
wait a couple hours?"
The Detective Wocky shook her head and flipped
open her briefcase. The brown folder sat inside with DeSoni's birth name on
top. The little yellow guy stared in shock and reached carefully for the folder,
almost as if scared of what it might contain.
"I know it probably won't be filled of happy
thoughts, but I thought you might like to have it."
Silently DeSoni nodded. He stood back up and
turned around to go back up to his room. "I-I'm gonna go read this…" His voice
drifted off, but he didn't take his eyes off the folder.
Khargana smiled a little sadly. "If you want
to talk over anything in there, I'm always here for you, bro."
DeSoni nodded, still engrossed staring at the
folder. Finally he looked up. "Th-thank you. Thank you, Khargana."
Khargana stood up and dusted off her vest where
dust from the air vent still clung. "What's the point of being a detective if
I can't use my skills for my family?"
The one-time Derek Sonix ran up the staircase
to delve into his past. He would remain upstairs all day.
"So, Queenie, how'd it go?" the huge Red Kougra
bartender (from the beginning) asked.
"Not to bad, 10C. Thanks ag'in for the sources.
Forsythe Alexander JubJub was a gem of a help, cowardly yet dumb enough ta fork
over mini-copies of his blueprints. Couldn't a done without ya." She held up
her glass, bearing only Neocola with a splash of cherry syrup, in a toast to
her ol' buddy.
The strikingly handsome brown Wocky club owner,
sitting on Khargana's right at the bar, shook his head. "I can't believe my
own hired help is aiding our Queen of Spades on her quest to get herself killed."
10C and Khargana, a.k.a. the Queen of Spades,
rolled their eyes, then high-fived each other.
The Green Wocky Detective laughed happily. "I
came out jus' fine. File was stolen, security was lax, and don' cha dare repeat
that to those Aisha thieves. I know they're always sniffing around for freebie
tips. They wan' somethin' from the Queen of Spades, they're gonna have ta fork
over the dough! I'd say 3,000 NP ought to cover it..."
The three friends laughed and chatted the rest
of the day away.
Hope you enjoyed it! I figured since I had DeSoni mentioned he'd gotten
his file from his sister, it made sense to have a story where Khargana actually
gets the file! Thanks for reading, and feel free to Neomail and questions/comments
to me! Oh, don't bother asking about the Brown Wocky and the question of 10C,
that information is reserved for a future story in-the-making!