Preparing Neopia for the Meepits Circulation: 119,806,944 Issue: 242 | 2nd day of Relaxing, Y8
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Fyora Does the Editorial!


by ladyariel32

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This Week: Faerie Queen Fyora graces us with her presence as a treat for Fyora Day. As we all know, Her Highness is one of the busiest (if not, the busiest) people in Neopia and her agreeing to write an editorial is a very, very big thing, indeed.

Hello, Neopia! This is Fyora, your Faerie Queen speaking. Since it’s Fyora Day (I mean, really, just a day? Puh-lease. Why couldn’t you have made it a week, a month, a year, forever? After all I’ve done for you... heh, just joking. No, really!), I decided to, ah, express my gratitude by finally getting around to answering questions I got in my fanmail (well, the most interesting ones, anyway) in my very own editorial. Without further ado...

Hi. My brother says Faeries don’t exist. Is that true? – BugtheSkeith’s younger brother

Tell your brother to meet me at the dark alley beside 14234 Magical Road, Neopia Central later at 3:45 PM NST sharp. If he doesn’t come, I’m going to visit your Neohome and deal with him personally. *cracks knuckles*

Seriously, Faeries exist. I mean, just because he failed to bring me a Robo Aisha for my quest (which he decided not to do after two months of making me wait, by the way)... really, that was so ten years ago!

Hello, Fyora! I’m Blue and I’m a Blue Acara. Recently, my owner bought me a Purple Paint brush and I was wondering, do you think purple would look good on my fur? I know it’s the best colour in Neopia but I still have my doubts. Here’s my picture and what I’ll look like after the paint job (if I ever decide to get painted that is). – Blue the Acara

     

Before and After

Ah, much as I hate to admit it, purple doesn’t look good on you. See, all the purple makes you look so washed up. I would suggest getting painted Orange, instead. It emphasizes the colour of your eyes.

Blue and orange go together!

I can’t find the Hidden Tower! Help! I really want to buy a Rainbow Fountain Faerie Doll. I’ve been saving up for quite a while now and I have enough. But then, I went to Faerieland and I couldn’t find your tower. Where is it? – Wants to Buy a Rainbow Fountain Faerie Doll

You can find the Hidden Tower by clicking here.

Haha! Made you click! *chortle chortle* Seriously, did you expect me to give away my tower’s secret location just like that? I mean, it’s called the Hidden Tower, for Neopia’s sake! H-I-D-D-E-N! Okay, I’ll stop now.

I understand how you feel about Rainbow Fountain Faerie Dolls, though (so shiny!). So, why don’t you look for my tower again? And, harder this time. It’s not that hard to find, you know. Unless you’re looking for it at the Virtupets Space Station. *blink blink* But, if you still can’t find it, I suggest you try and find one at the Trading Post or at the Auctions, instead.

You are so mean! Why do you keep the Hidden Tower hidden? – Looking for the Hidden Tower

*sniff* I’m a busy Faerie. I mean, hello! Besides taking care of Neopia, I also govern the Hidden Tower, give quests, write novels, design Faerie Caves, and make public appearances every single day. I keep the tower hidden because I don’t want to be bombarded by too many pets (and their frenzied owners) all the time. I’m not being mean. I’m just trying to keep up with my schedule.

Since you rule over Neopia, you’ve probably visited every part of it, right? So, my burning question is, does Jelly World exist? If it does, have you been there? Is it any good? – I am a believer

No, Jelly World doesn’t exist. Therefore, I haven’t been there. But if it existed (which, I repeat, it doesn’t), I would have played Jelly Blobs of Doom (which of course, doesn’t exist either because Jelly World doesn’t exist – want me to go over that again?).

Hi. It’s me again. My brother says you’re really Sloth in disguise? Is that true? – BugtheSkeith’s brother

Sloth is a good Neopian. He’s just a misunderstood guy. Sure, he has a weird-shaped head but let’s not hold that against him, pets and owners! And, even though he tries to take over Neopia every five seconds, I still believe that deep inside that almost rotten heart of his, he’s a good guy!

Psyche! Sloth, a good Neopian? Ha! That’s a joke, a joke, I tell you! And, me? Sloth in disguise? That is so farfetched, it’s almost... funny. But it isn’t. In fact, it’s the ultimate insult. Get ready, BugtheSkeith, because if you don’t clean up your act this very second, you’re going to get what’s coming to you! I’m not the Faerie Queen for nothing, you know...

What’s it like being queen? – A passing pet

Don’t ask. *sigh* Being queen has its perks (front row seats at the Tyrannian Concert Hall, gourmet food all the time, gorgeous clothes, etc.) but whew, the rest gets tiring after a while. I have all sorts of protocol to follow, meetings to attend where we talk about my least favourite subject (politics), and tons of paperwork that keep on multiplying the more I work on them. Believe me, you don’t ever want to be queen.

Okay, I lied. It’s fun being queen. You get to boss other pets and Faeries around and jump up and down on your deluxe luxury bed and snort food through your nose without anyone laughing at you. I could go and on and on. Somebody stop me from embarrassing myself.

Recently, I went to this petpage and I saw this pet painted a wonderful colour. She looked just like you (well, except that she’s an Aisha)! So, I thought, maybe she got painted with a Fyora paint brush! Were you the one who gave her that p/b? If you are, could you send me one, too, ‘cause I’m your number one fan. – Fyora’s Number One Fan

I’m flattered but sadly, no such paint brush exists. Right, TNT? *wink wink nudge nudge* There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look like me but wouldn’t you want to develop your own unique style, instead? *smiles encouragingly* If you really, really, really want to look like me, though, why don’t you improvise? Here’s a simple guide I made:

Materials needed:

Purple paint brush OR Royal paint brush

Faerie paint brush OR wire and cloth

Purple nail varnish or hoof polish

Princess or Queen outfit

Tiara

Fyora’s Hair Care

Purple eyeshadow

Pink blush

Pink lipstick

Wing Sock

Procedure:

  1. Paint yourself Purple, the colour of royalty (and my favourite colour). If your budget can afford it, use a Royal paint brush instead for royal authenticity.
  2. Paint part of your upper back with a Faerie paint brush to get Faerie wings. Of course, if you’re already a winged Neopet (such as Shoyrus and Eyries), you can skip this step. Don’t have enough NP for a Faerie paint brush? Then, make some out of wire and cloth (preferably silk).
  3. If you didn’t use a Royal paint brush in No. 1, get your hands on some elegant Princess or Queen clothes. Don’t forget to wear a tiara!
  4. Apply purple nail varnish OR hoof polish on your nails/hooves. Now, a little makeup can do wonders for your face so brush your eyelids with purple eyeshadow and blend some pink blush onto your cheeks for a healthy glow. Unfortunately, purple lipstick doesn't exist in Neopia yet so you'll have to make do with pink lipstick for your lips.
  5. Read my book, 'Fyora's Hair Care' (if you haven’t already). Check out what brush or comb suits your hair/fur and which products to use on it to make it lush and shiny.
  6. Purchase a Wing Sock which, from now on, will be one of your best friends. Just place it on your wings (one at a time) and it will be polished until it shines!

I want to be a Faerie! I want to do magic and stuff... like you do! Can you turn me into a Faerie? – Faerie Wannabe

*resists the urge to roll her eyes* If you really want to be a Faerie, then paint yourself Faerie for Neopia’s sake! Of course, looks are only part of it so yes, I do see that you have a problem. Let’s see... there are plenty of books out there that can teach you about magic like “Lost Spells of Neopia” or “Water Magic.” Scrolls are also very useful. I suggest you start with “Beginners Curses.” It's lots of fun! Now, my dear, you can become a different sort of Faerie - a class all your own!

Hey there, Fyora! This is BugtheSkeith. My little brother’s being a pain in the neck lately and I don’t know what to do. He keeps on blaming me for all the bad things he himself has done. I keep telling my owner my brother ate the cookies (scratched the sofa, broke the lamp – you get the idea), not me, but she doesn’t believe me! Help! – BugtheSkeith

What?!? Why, if there’s an ounce of truth in what you claim, your little brother’s in for a treat. *wicked smile* So... your brother’s going around calling me names and blaming you, huh? We’ll see about that. And, if you’re the one who’s lying, BugtheSkeith, I have a little something for you, as well...

Well, that’s the end of my editorial. I never thought answering questions could turn out to be fun. Heh. I needed the break. Thank you all for reading my editorial and thank Neopia for Fyora Day!

Excuse me while I go visit BugtheSkeith’s Neohome. Unfinished business beckons...

Author’s Note: This was written all in the name of fun so don’t get your hackles up! ;) Comments/suggestions/questions are always welcome so don’t hesitate to Neomail me.

 
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