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Dear Roxy: Back In Black


by roxycaligirl101

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Hello darlings! I’ve been away swept up in the wonderment of Fashion Week. You’ll never believe that this little Striped Shoyru was a model for the Lewis Vetan line. He had such beautiful clothes and I got to keep them, too. Listen up, everyone, black is the new white. Black is the new color for this winter season. Slothy, dear, that trench coat even though it may be black will never be in style so I suggest you buy a new jacket for this winter season. So, if you’re not back in black, then, you’re whack!

Dear Roxy:

I know you don’t like Troxy very much. Why not give her to a friend? Then, she can be some one else’s problem!

-Helper 101

Dear Helper 101:

I simply don’t load my problems off on other people but Slothy might advise you otherwise. I believe that Neopets should face their problems head on instead of avoiding them.

I don’t dislike Troxy, well, okay, she’s not my favorite petpet sometimes. She is good deep down, really deep down, I mean very deep down. Troxy and I might not get along all the time, but she’s part of the family. No one gets booted from the Cali Family, no matter how evil they may seem.

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

Why are Jubjubs always the ones getting made fun of in Neopia?

-Taunting Hater

Dear Taunting Hater:

You must realize that not just JubJubs are ones being teased. Everyone gets teased—humans, journalists, n00bs, Angelpi, trees, evil scientists with no taste in clothing, shopkeepers, and even bottles of sand. Most of the time teasing is in a joking manner and in all good fun. Even you, Taunting Hater, have teased at least one person in your life. Teasing can be all right when it is not hurtful. As soon as it crosses that boundary from fun from cruel, it’s wrong. No matter if you’re teasing a Jubjub or a cup of Borovan, never do it be hurtful. If you ever take teasing too far and hurt someone’s feelings, be the bigger Neopet. Stand up and apologize for your mistakes. If you don’t, a particular phrase comes to mind, “what goes around comes around.”

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

Where’s the Ketchup?

-Second Biggest Ketchup Fan

Dear Second Biggest Ketchup Fan:

Next to the mustard, of course.

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. I often have nightmares that Dr. Frank Sloth ruled Neopia. What can I do to get more shuteye?

-Sleepless in Sakhmet

Dear Sleepless in Sakhmet:

Well, first you must realize the absurdity of your nightmare. Sloth taking over Neopia? Not in this lifetime! Realizing how crazy and unrealistic your nightmare is should help cure them but just in case, that doesn’t work, there could be other causes to your nightmares. Are you eating junk food before bed? If so, that’s a big no-no. My brother, Kudio, used to eat Earth Faerie Brownies before bed. Then, he would get terrible nightmares about some fantasy land called Jelly World. How crazy is that? A world made of jelly? Oh, please! In his dream, he would be attacked by the jelly people for attempting to steal part of their city which was incidentally also made of jelly. Being a wizard, Kudio, quickly drew his wand and fired. He would also do this in reality, too. The Electric Bruce made our entire house and fireworks explode from his room out the window at 4 AM. The neighbors weren’t too happy about it, as you can imagine. He quickly gave up the brownies before bed and the nightmares stopped. Thank goodness, too, I was losing beauty sleep. It’s not easy sleeping through fireworks and other magical explosions in the next room. Let me tell you

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

I have a red Shoyru. He is quite happy and always well fed, but he doesn’t like fish. In the beginning he just said that it was awful, but now he refuses to eat it! I love fish and wish my Neopet love them, too. What should I do?

-Someone Who Loves Fish

Dear Someone Who Loves Fish:

Your Shoyru doesn’t have to like everything you like. If were all the same, life would be quite dull now wouldn’t it be? Maybe your Shoyru doesn’t like fish, but he could like Gummy or candy Fish, and well, that’s a start!

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

I have had bad encounters with chat speak and l33t. Is there a dictionary for it?

-W00t?

Dear W00t?:

Don’t we all wish there was a dictionary for chat speak, it would make life so much easier but there isn’t one, sorry. There is one for Neopinglish though. It was written by fellow author, Stoneman3x and can be found in the archives of the Neopian Times. I’d look it up, it could be helpful.

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

What’s behind the Tiki Tack Man's mask? I find it very disturbing that he won't take it off, so what do you know or think?

-Miss I Wanna Know

Miss I Wanna Know:

Honey, are you sure you wanna know? He wears the mask for a reason and if he doesn’t want to take it off, he doesn’t have to. The Tiki Tack Man could have horrible acne which he is ashamed of, so, stop harassing the poor man who has self confidence issues.

-Roxy

Dear Roxy:

I was chewing on some Bubble Gum but fell asleep! Now it's stuck in my fur! How can I get it out without having a bald spot?

-Sticky Situation

Dear Sticky Situation:

I’m not the expert on bubble gum removal but I’ve heard many methods. You can try one of them until something works. I’ve heard: peanut butter, ice, borovan and mayonnaise help remove gum from the fur. You might as well try them, none of them can do really anymore damage to your fur. If none of those work, well, bald spot it is, but you could always wear a hat to cover it up. Good luck!

-Roxy

To submit your question/problem to be answered by Roxy, simply send a Neomail to roxycaligirl101. All messages must be appropriate with proper spelling and grammar. Please put the subject as "Dear Roxy." Inappropriate, tasteless, and repeatedly sent messages will be deleted, so please don’t waste your and my time. Please don't send problems that have already been solved by Roxy. Due to an overwhelming amount of messages, Roxy cannot answer all the messages. All messages are subjected to editing and can be published. So, don't submit something if you don't want to see it in the Neopian Times.

Thank you to all the readers, fans, NTWFers, fellow writers, and Neopets that take the time to Neomail me with every article. Without you guys, Roxy would have been defeated by Sloth. Thanks for the fight, against, Sloth. Thanks so much and may the Borovan be with you! Sorry, about the long break, Slothy, never won and will not!

 
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