Never Get Mad
On any normal morning, Xenon the Kyrii woke up to the alarm
clock in his head; his body knew when it should be revved up for the day without
any mechanical aid. Today, however, was April first. As long as he was living
under the same roof as Azure, Arzaohe, Sierra, and Nasmi, he would never go a
single April Fool's Day without some vexatious prank to pull his fur. Little did
he know that the others had stepped aside and let Arzaohe take the reigns of his
Xenon had been sleeping peacefully when he subconsciously
felt a draft coming in through his bedside window. His fur was rudely stirred
when a warm, furry mass dropped onto him and began barking loudly.
"Jack, let me sleep," he groaned as the little
Anubis continued to make a pest of himself. He pulled his pillow over his head,
but Jack was determined not to let his owner get his wish. He yanked the pillow
away and roared in the Kyrii's ear.
"AGH! Okay, I'm up, I'm up! Sheesh!"
Much to his dismay, he found that he wasn't going
to be getting up so easily. Countless miniature cups had been placed all around
his bedroom floor, each filled with water. If he wanted to get out through the
door, he'd have to drink his way to it. Deciding that he wasn't thirsty enough
for that, he grumbled irritably as he climbed through his window ... only
to step into a huge glob of tactically-placed toothpaste. He growled and wiped
his feet on the grass before heading back inside for breakfast. He found everyone
else already at the table, so he sat down and helped himself to a slice of a
honey and wheat baguette and a bacon omelette.
"Is something the matter, Xe?" Arzaohe asked
innocently. "You look upset."
Xenon only glared at her over his plate. She
laughed. "Rough morning?"
"You would know," he spat.
"Aww, where's your holiday spirit? Why don't
you ever get back at us? I'm sure you could cook up a great prank."
Maybe I will, he thought to himself.
A few weeks later, Xenon awoke bright and early
to a chorus of tropical birds and crashing waves. Today was going to be lovely;
he had invited Arzaohe to join him on a jaunt about the island. He quickly got
dressed and joined everyone at the table for breakfast.
"Ready to go?" he asked as Arzaohe brought her
dirty plate to the kitchen several minutes later.
"You know it," she replied with a grin. The Kyrii
bid the others farewell and were on their way.
It was a gorgeous day. The sun shone brightly
in an azure-blue sky, but it wasn't hot. A gentle breeze whispered through the
giant palm leaves above their heads, and the foliage cast greenish shadows upon
the sand. The duo decided to start the day with a trip to the beach. The ocean
murmured a welcome to them as they reached the seaside, a salty-sweet ocean
spray caressing their faces. They splashed about in the advancing and retreating
tide and searched for petpets in the tidepools. When they grew bored of that,
they decided to stop by the haiku generator.
"Hey there, Rorru!" Xenon greeted the Kougra.
"What'cha got for us today?"
Rorru eyed his visitors carefully and said:
"Danger lurks, beware
You will surely come to harm
Should you be careless"
"Er, thanks," Xenon said, backing off slowly.
"We appreciate the... wisdom."
"What was up with that?" Arzaohe asked once they
were out of earshot. "His haikus are usually so nice. That was a nasty surprise."
"I hear ya there," Xenon agreed. "Maybe he just
ate a bad juppie this morning or something."
They shrugged it off and made their way to the
training school; some meditation would be very nice.
"That'll be a Mau and a Bri for you and a Main
for the lady," the Techo Master said as they signed up for their respective
"Shoot!" Xenon slapped his palm to his forehead.
"I completely forgot about codestones! Stupid, stupid me."
"Xenon, look!" Arzaohe said suddenly, pointing
towards the ceiling. Punchbag Bob was floating several feet above them and glowing
slightly. Before they could say anything more on the matter he suddenly came
tumbling down to the floor below.
"Okay, let's get out of here," Xenon said, examining
Bob carefully. "We'll come back later with our codestones." He and Arzaohe said
a quick goodbye to the Master and made tracks.
"That sure was creepy," the female Kyrii commented
as they made their way down the road, towards the cooking pot. "Maybe we'll
get something good from Jhuidah."
"Hello, strangers," the island faerie greeted
them as they approached. "Do you have what the Pango Pango wants today?"
"Only one way to find out," Xenon replied as
he and Arzaohe dug through their pockets. They each produced a few items and
decided on the three they would throw into the pot. The Kyrii each took the
great spoon and swirled the mixture three times. Suddenly, the pot began to
shake. Its contents hissed angrily and glowed bright red. Jhuidah gasped and
ducked out of sight. As the pot began to boil over, something resembling a hand
emerged from the concoction. Then, just as suddenly as it had started, the pot's
wrath was quelled and all became eerily silent. Jhuidah reemerged from behind
the pot with their items at hand. Trembling slightly, she gave them back. The
Kyrii stole a glance at one another and wordlessly agreed to get the heck away
"Okay," gasped Arzaohe once they were a considerable
distance away from the cooking pot, "I can safely say that I am very freaked
out right now."
"I second that," Xenon replied. "Ooh, but look
where we are..."
"Sweet Fyora, give me a break!"
The two of them had wandered right into Geraptiku,
and the less-than-inviting atmosphere of the place wasn't helping them to calm
down at all.
"Okay, maybe if we just-- what was that!" Arzaohe
gasped. Xenon whipped around just in time to see what was scaring his companion;
a phosphorescent figure had appeared from behind a tree several yards away.
It growled and bared its fangs at them.
"It's the Ghost Lupe! Run!"
Arzaohe didn't need telling twice. She was out
of there as quick as a flash. She ran and ran and ran, not even bothering to
see if the spectre was really chasing her. She finally ran out of breath and
collapsed next to the island arena. Several minutes later, she had finally calmed
down enough to bring her breathing and pulse back down to a fairly normal pace.
Xenon, however, was nowhere to be found.
"Xe? Xenon, where are you? Xe-- AGH!"
Xenon popped out from behind a post, laughing
"Oh, that wasn't funny!" she snapped.
"Oh... yes... it was!" he gasped. "Everything...
you fell... classic!"
"What are you talking... hey!" Realization smacked
her across the face. "It was you! Everything that happened was all your fault!"
"You bet it was," Xenon said, wiping away tears
of mirth, "But you brought it on yourself." He put on his best falsetto. "'Why
don't you ever get back at us? I'm sure you could cook up a great prank.'"
Arzaohe had to laugh. "Okay, you win. Can we
call it even now?"
Xenon grinned. "Absolutely."
The Kyrii shook hands, then said the female,
"So, elaborate. How did you arrange all this?"
"I got everyone in on the joke," the male replied.
"They all seemed keen on the idea of a group prank. Rorru made up that creepy
haiku just for us, the Techo Master put Punchbag Bob on a fishing line and did
something to make him glow like that, and Jhuidah created that gnarly effect
at the cooking pot."
"Who did you get to put on the Ghost Lupe costume?"
"...I never arranged anything to do with the
The Kyrii gulped and looked at each other. A
feral howl ripped through the still island air.
The Ghost Lupe snickered to himself as he watched
Xenon and his companion run for all it was worth. "That's what you get for kicking
my rear in the Battledome, punk."