The Clumsiest Apology Letter Ever Written
In a bright little glade in Meridell country, Illusen watched
a young Pteri toddle off to complete her quest. When the Neopet disappeared down
the path, the earth faerie turned and retreated to her cozy cabin, hoping to grab
a quiet moment of relaxation before the next quester arrived. As she sat nursing
a hot cup of borovan, Illusen sifted through the morning post.
There were a few fan mails she'd set aside for
later, a cordial invitation from Queen Fyora to attend the annual Grand Faerie
Gala, a rather distressed message from King Skarl asking for advice on various
affairs in his kingdom, and... a strange purple envelope with green script.
Intrigued, Illusen set down her mug and held
the envelope closer to read the small text.
To Illusen the Earth Faerie
Illusen's Glade, Meridell
The letter fell from her hand as Illusen suddenly
recognized the flowing, spidery penmanship and gasped.
'Why on Neopia would Jhudora being sending me
a letter?' she wondered, studying the envelope warily. After all, the only time
the two rival faeries ever acknowledged each other at all was when they were
Illusen sat there sipping her borovan and debating
whether she should open it. She should just ignore it-that was what Jhudora
deserved, in any case. But then again... what could be so important that Jhudora
had to write it in a letter? Illusen had known the dark faerie for years, and
Jhudora was not the type to express herself on dry paper; what was on Jhudora's
mind always made itself known through her actions and words-and rather destructively
too, Illusen mused, scowling at the thought.
Eventually, curiosity won, and Illusen slowly
drew the envelope towards herself. Her last thought before breaking the seal
was, 'This had better be good.'
The earth faerie sputtered mentally at this very
un-Jhudora-like greeting. 'Dear Illusen'? Why not 'Pathetically Inferior
One' or 'Tree Hugging Fool' or... or... something equally condescending and insulting?
If you're reading this, then I suppose you've
actually opened my letter. Well, of course you have, because how could you possibly
be reading if you hadn't opened-but I'm being silly. Of course you'd open it... but
you see, I was a tad (just a tad, mind you) worried that you might not want
to open it-and consequently not be able to read it... er, that is, that you might
not want to read it, and consequently not open it. Because of... well, you know... our
disagreements... What I mean to say, really, is that I'm glad you've opened this... and
are reading it too.
In spite of herself, Illusen could not help the
amused grin tugging at the corners of her lips at Jhudora's flagrant... eloquence.
So, you're wondering why I'm writing to you,
right? You must be, if you've opened this, and clearly, you are, since you wouldn't
be reading if-wait... let's not go there again.
But in any case, you're wondering. Because
I never write to you-or anyone else for that matter. So why am I doing
Why, indeed? What in the world was making Jhudora
Well, the truth is... the real reason for this
At this point the words stopped, followed by
several lines that had been thoroughly crossed out in the green ink. Illusen
entertained briefly an image of Jhudora biting her nails fretfully as she scribbled
out one false start after another, struggling to word her thoughts appropriately.
It was almost enough to warrant a giggle. Almost. Her eyes skipped over to next
I'm writing to you to talk about our feud.
(Illusen's eyes narrowed.) Wait-wait-don't throw this letter away yet!
Give me a chance!
Well, you do recall the incident that started
all this, don't you?
Illusen frowned at the subtle implication that
she had forgotten. The feud between the Dark Faerie and Earth Faerie was well
known throughout Neopia, but nobody knew the real cause of it all; there were
even some insolent souls who dared suggest that Illusen and Jhudora themselves
didn't remember. The Earth Faerie snorted. Of course she remembered. How could
she ever forget the offense that had instigated a feud that demanded so much
of her time and energy?
Illusen prided herself on her sensibility, her
ability to be the "bigger person" and take responsibility for her actions, even
if the other party wasn't mature enough to own up. Any feud this serious could
only have been started by a terrible, unforgivable wrongdoing, which in this
case had been... she wracked her brains... her mind was drawing a blank. Illusen looked
back to the letter. A terrible, unforgivable wrongdoing, such as...
The time when I thought you stole my evil
fluffy Cybunny slippers and dipped them in the Rainbow Fountain and painted
them pink. Ms. Fluffybuns and Ms. Fuzzybuns were never the same again. If you
recall, Ms. Fluffybuns was the right slipper, and Ms. Fuzzybuns the left-or
was Ms. Fluffybuns the left and Ms. Fuzzybuns the right?
Illusen felt her cheeks redden. Ah... Fuzzybuns
and Fluffybuns. Yes, yes, the slippers incident was what started it all... but
it was far more complicated than that. Of course it was! Well, to begin with,
they were a rather nice pair of slippers, of a most luxuriant purple
color with each slipper shaped to the likeness of an evil Cybunny with little
fangs and red eyes, and no doubt kept young Jhudora's feet warm on cold Faerieland
nights. Naturally, Jhudora would be upset that they'd been ruined. Of course,
that didn't excuse her for throwing the blame on Illusen, who had, only a few
days earlier, casually commented Jhudora would look nice in pink. Illusen huffed.
Of course she'd been rightfully angry with Jhudora for the false accusation.
Things had escalated from there, when Jhudora retaliated by kidnapping her Faerie
Queen Doll and determined to ransom it for replacement slippers, or at least
until Illusen confessed.
The memories of all Jhudora's little slights
and crimes against her were all coming back now. It made the earth faerie's
blood boil just thinking about it. She glared down furiously at the letter.
If Jhudora had written just to pick open old wounds...
That was the beginning of our disagreements,
you know. I'd almost forgotten-not because it was too trivial of a thing to
remember-goodness, no. It was just such a long time ago. So why am I bringing
it up now?
The other day, Baelia came up to me-and that
in itself in strange, you know.
Illusen arched an eyebrow. That certainly was
unusual. Ever since she had fallen, Baelia the grey faerie avoided contact with
almost everyone. Jhudora's tone was more confident now, and her writing sloppier,
as if she was in a hurry to say something important.
What was even stranger was that
she started babbling about slippers and fountains and you. It took me several
moments before I realized what she was going on about, and even longer before
I realized that she was trying to apologize for something.
The thing is... she confessed. Confessed to "borrowing"
my slippers without my knowledge and confessed to being too afraid to tell me
what she'd done when she accidentally dropped them in the Rainbow Fountain.
Shocking, isn't it?
Illusen stared. Baelia? Baelia had been the thief,
while she, Illusen, had received all of Jhudora's spite and anger? And yet... it
made sense. Before Baelia had lost her wings, and with it, all her powers and
beauty, she had been quite vain, and selfish. Stealing someone's possession
and refusing to take responsibility afterwards sounded very much like something
she would have done.
You know what this means, don't you?
And Illusen did. All those years of hatred, animosity,
acts of vengeance... it had all been for nothing, she realized with a terrible
sinking feeling in her stomach.
I admit I was a little hasty when I... well... you
know... jumping to conclusions... stealing your Faerie Queen Doll... Er... you know the
kind of thing I'm trying to say, don't you?
Well, the one thing I wrote this entire letter
to say is... is... (Gah, this shouldn't be so hard!)... I'm sorry.
And don't you dare tell a soul I said that.
I must keep up my ruthless, evil image, you understand.
She had to smile, she really did. Could she find
it in herself to forgive Jhudora, after all this time?
I realize this letter may not have changed
what you think of me. You may be hating me as much as ever, gloating that I
was wrong all along, or vowing that you still will never tolerate me.
You don't have to reply to this, but as you
know, Fyora's Grand Faerie Gala is next weekend. I know you're invited, and
as surprising as it is, I was too. If there's the slightest chance that you'd
want to make up... I'll be there.
Now I'm going to send this before I lose my
nerve and scrap it all.
Almost fond regards, from the bottom of my
black, stony, nonexistent heart,
P.S. If you dare breathe a word of the contents
of this letter to anyone else... not that I'm threatening you, of course. But this
is all between the two of us, all right?
Illusen's hand trembled as she reached for a
sheet of paper and worded her reply:
I'll be at the Gala. We have
a lot of lost time to make up for...
P.S. All right, I'll keep that letter secret... as
long as you never let anyone know something this petty came between us.