"Aah! My Little Sorceress Usuki doll!" I screamed. I leaped
past my red Yurble, who had a mischievous grin playing across his face as he pulled
the rope in his other paw, his brown eyes twinkling gleefully. The rope had been
strategically placed in a knotted loop around my fragile Glass Negg/Rose collection,
which I kept in my now open cupboard. The rope dragged all of the glass items
off the shelf, and I barely had time to put my Usuki back on the bookshelf before
I managed to catch nearly all of them, but a few of my prized possessions smashed
on contact with the solid wooden floor.
"Tina!" my Yurble, Jay, cried. "You weren't
supposed to catch them!"
"We need law and punishment around here," a
snotty voice said from behind me. "I am royalty, and I should be treated like
so!" It was Queenie, my teenage royal Zafara.
"Oh please," Jay said. "You're just painted
royal, not a queen!"
"Well, I am painted with an expensive color,
and therefore I should be considered a princess!" Queenie walked up to my ten-year-old
Yurble. "Deal with it, peasant!" she said scornfully.
"Oh please," Jay repeated. "Yesterday you were
a queen, most of the days after today and later today you'll be a queen; make
up your mind! And I'm not a peasant; we have the same owner and wealth!"
"But I have more than both of you," a sad voice
said from behind them. I recognized the speaker, without looking, to be Greyis,
my accurately named grey Wocky. "Life will be such a drag for me, not having
to work when I'm rich… never getting out… never experiencing hard work in life…"
"Can you ever find something positive?" Jay
asked, as he pulled a hastily-made-from-a-stick-lever that, despite my lack
of attention to it, had actually not been there yesterday, or ten minutes ago.
A moment after he had pulled the lever, a mud pie in one of my apparently "borrowed"
pie pans hit Queenie in the face.
Her face dripping with mud, the angry Zafara
stormed off, into the hallway, from which the sound of a minor explosion and
a cascade of green smoke coming down from the staircase.
"Dyren!" I shouted. "I told you not to conduct
experiments in your room!"
A blue Shoyru in a lab coat emerged from the
smoke. "I told you, my name is Doctor Insanity! And I need to conduct experiments
if I'm going to take over Neopia!" He cackled madly.
Jay rolled his eyes.
If you don't know me, I'll inform you that this
is a normal day for me.
I sat on the front porch and sighed. My life
was horrible. It wasn't a bore at all. It was pure chaos. I would have much
preferred a bore. Or at least hint of normality. And sanity. I would really
have enjoyed sanity.
"Whatchya doin'?" The yellow Ixi sat down next
to me. It was Lids, my neighbor's pet.
"Nothing," I replied glumly.
"Pets again, huh?"
"Well then… why don't ya do somethin' 'bout
"I don't remember you being so harsh last time
we had this conversation."
"That's what you say every time. Like what?"
"You don't want this conversation to be monotonous?
Fine. Purple Blumaroo. Yellow Elephante. Words of uber longness. Ya happy now?"
"Whatever. Like what?"
"Um… disown them."
"That would be mean. You wouldn't want that
to happen to you, would you?"
"Uh… no. It was the first suggestion I thought
of. Hm… create more normal pets?"
"That would mean I had to disown the annoying
"Well, what don't you like about your pets?"
"This is a random question. Let's see. Oh, I
don't know. Dyren is insane, Jay creates havoc, Queenie is prissy, and Greyis
is… weird. She's sensible, but no matter what happens to her, there's always
something she views as a downside. I mean, really, who doesn't want to be rich,
even if it means you'll never do any physical work and stuff?"
"Okay, I've got one more idea: send them away."
"To where?" I asked. "And that would be like
disowning them. And I don't know if they'd be okay with that."
"But they'll never be in the Pound! They'll
have an owner, and they'll be fine, and someone else's problem! Besides-"
"That's enough!" I interrupted. "I can see for
myself whether or not they want to be sent away at all. They're going to the
Neolodge for a week!" I went inside to find the usual bedlam going around.
"Stop!" I screamed, pulling Dyren away from
Queenie as he tried to steal her tea cups.
"But I need exactly one cup of Faerieland tea
for my teleportation mix!" he screamed. "And Queenie is the only one I know
with either of those, let alone both, already put together! And she won't give
it to me, even after I promised her a throne next to me when I take over Neopi-"
"I'm already a queen!" Queenie interrupted,
pulling the round pink table in front of her, loaded with everything needed
for a one-person tea party, towards her as she repeatedly backed away.
"Jay, get away from Greyis's savings! Greyis,
stop complaining Jay never got your savings so you wouldn't suffer 'the dreaded
fate of being rich and with good security'! Everyone, I need peace -okay, maybe
not peace, maybe only a little, and complete silence!"
Everyone fell silent and stayed still, looking
at me, except for Jay, who was creeping towards Greyis's savings in what could
be described as "a little peaceful" and quiet.
"Jay, stop," I said. "I have an announcement.
You're all going to the Neolodge for a week!"
"Which one?" Queenie asked, crossing her arms.
"It had better not be Luxury or lower in stars, or else I will-"
"Don't worry," I said quickly. "You are all
going to Faerie Castle!"
"There we go," Greyis said in her usual dejected
tone. "I'll have to wait longer to find out what it's like to be alone and away
from my family… I'll never get to see the Economy or Luxury hotel-types, because
when I'm rich no one will let me go to them…"
"Okay!" I screeched. "You'll all go separately
and you'll all choose your own hotels!"
Three of my pets erupted into joyful cheers,
except the Grey Wocky on the left, who began moaning on and on about how she
would make a wrong choice, and find out she would feel lonely, and her one-on-self
conversation continued to a point where I suggested she tally how many wrong
choices she had ever made, which brought the topic to how she'd remind herself
of her thrown-away bad penmanship when she miserably wrote a list.
"Okay," I yelled, "We are going to check into
the Neolodge today! Pack your stuff and tell me where you want to go!"
All of them either excitedly and hastily or
miserably and slowly ra- or rather, traveled at some speed to their rooms to
pack, and eventually came back to tell me where they wanted to stay. Greyis
wanted to find out how cheap the Fleapit Motel was, but when I said fine, Greyis
went on about how it might be too cheap or not cheap enough. Dyren wanted a
place that had insurance and popularity among the wealthy and middle-class,
so he went to Faerie Castle. Of course, Queenie was going to the AstroVilla,
and Jay was going to Ye Olde Ship Inn. Once they were all ready to leave, we
went, they checked in, and I went to sleep at home that night, unable to imagine
the peace and quiet of tomorrow.
I woke up, and at first braced myself for one
of Jay's morning pranks. But after five minutes of inspecting the room from
my bed, I remembered: Jay was gone! I had the house to myself! I nearly cheered
at the top of my lungs, but stopped myself at the last minute. I instead ran
through the house to do anything I wanted.
I ran shouting happily throughout the entire
house… until I realized I was acting like a Baby Grundo who had just gotten
a new plushie it had greatly anticipated receiving. I half-expected to see Queenie
in the kitchen, trying to find some kind of breakfast cake, because cereal,
bagels, doughnuts, and most other breakfast foods we knew about "were for commoners."
But I reminded myself that she was at the AstroVilla.
An hour later, with my belly full of cereal,
I went to the living room to comfort Greyis in whatever new "sad" thing she
had thought up since yesterday, but once again, I had to remind myself she was
at the Fleapit Motel.
By lunch, I was wondering where Dyren was doing
his experiments and potion-making; he hadn't added a single drop of whichever
ingredient caused the explosions. I kept seeing smoke of orange, green, purple,
or blue shades for an instant, and after I blinked, it was gone.
This went on for the rest of the week my pets
would be gone. But the feeling of loss for my usual chaotic life wasn't the
only feeling I constantly felt. I felt boredom. I had nothing to do. I realized
that my life was filled with the chaos that gave me something to do. I needed
it to have a life of… something other than boredom and crazy expectancies involving
the time before my pets went away.
And then the day came - the day my pets came
back and the chaos resumed. I watched and began formulating a plan to get Jay
to stop knocking Queenie's things in a box of the already stolen and possibly
broken objects, brainstorming for ideas on how to stop Queenie from attempting
to literally destroy both Dyren and Jay, thinking of a way to stop Dyren from
making a capture of all of Queenie's tea set so he could use them for measuring
cups, and working up some comforting words for Greyis. It was my chaotic life,
and I loved it.