Typerofdoom's Guide to Hiring a Shopkeeper
You may think that your shopkeeper is an insignificant part of creating a successful
shop, but if you do, you are quite wrong. In fact, hiring a trustworthy and talented
shopkeeper could be the key to your shop’s success! There are many reasons, but
so I don’t bore you to death, I am going to tell you the top three. Reason one,
a shopkeeper that matches your shop “theme,” such as your background or your sidebar,
immediately boosts your shop’s style and well, for lack of a better word, prettiness
level. Reason two, a shopkeeper is responsible for both the items being sold and
the neopoints earned. Can you imagine what would happen if your shopkeeper suddenly
decided to rip you off? Need I say more? Reason three, a shopkeeper is a great
way to jazz up your shop if you happen not to know how to copy and paste.
Still not convinced? Well, too bad for you, you must be either not be very
interested or just not own a shop. If you are one (or both) of the above, I
suggest you leave now...
Now, there are a few basic steps to finding yourself a reliable and hard-working
slav- er, shopkeeper, and they are listed below, put into five easy steps for
your convenience. Have fun and good luck finding your perfect employee!
Step one: Decide what kind of shopkeeper would be best for your shop
Before you go running off to hire a shopkeeper, there are a few things you
need to decide, nothing brain-bustingly hard like those darn Lenny Conundrums,
just some simple things like, do I want or have a shop “theme” in which I want
to incorporate my shopkeeper? This is a major issue when choosing your employee,
because, sad as it may seem, plushie Kau shopkeepers do not seem to fit particularly
well with a space themed shop. Another important question would be; which kind
of keepers are the most trustworthy with which items? For example, a Jetsam
would not be a suitable petpet shopkeeper, as they have a really nasty habit
of eating all the poor, defenseless petpets you happen to stock! See what I
mean? Choosing a good shop manager isn’t as easy as you may have thought, huh?
Anyways, now, you should carefully look over all the aspects of your shop and
narrow your list of acceptable keepers down to around oh, say three to five
different species of neopets/petpets/faeries. Once you’ve done this, you should
be ready for step two.
Step two: Get the word out
This is the tricky part, the actual finding of the interesting employees,
I personally recommend placing an ad in the Neopian Times or maybe a little
poster on the notice board to get your message out on the streets. Make sure
your ad is: a) nice to look at b) filled with the right information (contacts,
job requirements... etc.) c) not too long (too many words is not a good thing)
nor too short, either (you need enough words to make your message clear), and
last of all, NO CHATSPEAK!!! I cannot stress this enough; chatspeak gives the
impression of someone who is not very serious at all about their ad because
they’re too lazy to write properly! Abbreviations are acceptable, if you don’t
use them too often. Okay, done all that? Great, time to move on to step three.
Step three: Job interviews
As any successful shop owner will tell you, an interview is a great way to
get an idea of the personality of your possible employee. I suggest using straightforward
questions such as, “WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?” But I’ve learned from
often painful experience that the applicants, especially the Grarrls, Jetsams,
and Skeiths, do not appreciate this and have a rather violent way of showing
it. So you’d be much better off to go with something like, “Hello, nice to see
you, please step into my office...” and then you would ask boring stuff like,
“Do you have any references/previous employers?” and “How much do you expect
to be paid?” Also, a good question to ask is “What do you plan on saying to
greet shoppers?” That’s a very good question, as it tells you how the shopkeeper
would treat your valued customers and that is vital to your shop’s success.
The interviewing may be long and tedious, but it is well worth it. You learn
A LOT about the applicant’s character, their salary expectations (if they ask
for more neopoints than the food store pays its employees, kick them out right
away, do you hear me? Right away!) Their goals in life (the boring part where
they tell you like, “I one day hope to drive a truck through the Haunted Woods”
and other dumb stuff like that...) Now this takes a while, depending on how
many applicants there are and how long you play on neopets each day, but if
you do about two each day, you should be done by the end of the week, possibly
sooner. All done? If you are, good for you and if not, well, you might as well
come along and read the next few bits anyway...
Step four: Weed out the unworthy/unsuitable applicants
This is also another tricky bit, as it’s easy to be torn between two great
applicants. When this happens, try flipping a coin; coins know everything. Now,
in this step, you should be thinking about your various applicants and revisiting
step one, to try and narrow the list down some more.
If you’ve still got two or more neopets/petpets/faeries that qualify after
reviewing step one, you should start asking yourself questions like, “Which
one asks for the least amount of money?” and “How many holidays/benefits does
each one expect?” This really puts things into perspective and it should leave
you with one winning applicant! If not, remember, there’s always the coin...
Now you should be ready for the very last step.
Step five: Hire your shopkeeper!
So, you’ve chosen your type of shopkeeper, you’ve typed out your advertisement,
survived the dangerous job interviews and weeded out the unworthy candidates;
now it’s time to take the final step, and hire your brand new shopkeeper! For
this step, there is only one thing that matters... Neopoints! You want to save
as much neopoints on your shopkeeper as possible! DO NOT be afraid to bargain
hard for salary price; remember, this is a war, you are the good guy, trying
to save your neopoints for other more useful purposes like taking over the wor-
I mean renovating the Soup Kitchen. The new shopkeeper is the evil one, trying
to rob you of your hard earned neopoints- DO NOT LET THEM!!! I think that’s
about all you need to know. Now go on, shoo! Go get yourself a fabulous new
shopkeeper of your very own! Have fun!
Author’s note: Well, there it is, hopefully my second article to get published
in the Neopian Times; I hope you liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Some
of this advice is applicable on neopets, but most, the advertising/interviewing
part, sadly can’t be done, but I guess you could always pretend... Anyways I
just wanted to clear that up, and if you have any questions or comments about
this article or my previous one, feel free to neomail me and I’ll do my best
to answer them. Have a nice day!
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