Plotting Along: Bob the Yurble - Again?!?!?!?!

All heck broke loose this past week in Altador, when it was discovered that Bob the Yurble, a prominent member of the now forgotten Lost Desert Plot, had indeed been hired yet again. His new position as janitor in the Hall of Heroes was an even bigger surprise as they yet again allowed him to terrorize the tourists with his gruff manner and despicable hygiene. Visitors certainly can't help being captivated and disgusted by the color of his toenails!

Visitors were pleased this week when light was finally brought into the Hall of Heroes, forcing Janitor Bob to actually start cleaning up the place. The management of the Hall is hoping that this will help bring in more visitors. The downside, yet again, is that people can actually see Bob and his lack of cleanliness is much more apparent. Luckily, Bob is now too busy mopping up to harass many of the tourists.

In a press release earlier today the management has assured Neopians that if Bob does not live up to the terms of his employment he will be banished to the Battledome... Neopians are hopeful. Sadly there have been incidents reported of people taunting Bob in hopes of provoking him to rudeness. No report yet as to what has been done about this.

In a statement outside the Hall of Heroes, one Neopian said, "I don't see how they could hire him. After all he did to us while we were trying to solve the Lost Desert Plot; I would rather have seen him sent into Anubis Tox to sort scrolls." When asked how he fared in the plot the Neopian, who wishes to remain anonymous, had this to say, "I did pretty good, but no thanks to Bob. I would have been done days earlier if he hadn't hidden those stupid toenails of his."

When asked about this general animosity towards him, Bob seemed unfazed and accepted our request for an interview.

Hi Bob. Thank you so much for agreeing to do this interview. I really appreciate it. As you know, you are one of the most talked about characters in all Neopia right now. Your return has really caused a stir in the plot community. I just have a few questions for you.

Q: How does it make you feel to know that there are people out there who wish you would disappear?

A: Honestly I try not to let it bother me. You know I am just a Yurble, though we have feelings too. I just did what I had to. I can’t help it if no one appreciated my talents.

Q: Do you mean to come across this way? If not, why don’t you take steps to avoid this?

A: Hey, like I said I was just doing my job. I got hired and I have a family to feed. Nothing I could do about what other people thought.

Q: Why do you think people keep hiring you, when there are so many other Neopians clamoring for jobs?

A: I get the job done, that’s the bottom line. I was willing to do jobs that no one else would. It isn’t my fault other Neopians are too good to take a job. Some pets are just too stuck up. Me, I am willing to work. Besides no one else wields a cudgel like I do. The plot supervisors made me prove how good I was. Do you want to see the routine?

Errrrm, no, Bob; that is ok….

Ok, but you don’t know what you are missing. That’s what landed me the job.

Q: So the one thing everyone is really upset about… the toenail incident. Would you care to explain it? We notice they are not painted now and they don’t look so great.

A: That whole thing was so misunderstood. The plot coordinators put me in a really bad position. They asked me to be the chef and then swore I would be doing something useful. Then the whole mix up with the shipments happened and I was stuck. They forbid me from helping the cloo seekers. I knew how horrible the Scroll Repository was, especially that Anubis Tox section. I figured I would be sneaky and try to help everyone out by painting my toenails. Do you know how hard that was?? My toenails are ruined because of it. Everyone totally blew it out of proportion and left me looking like the bad guy. I was just trying to help.

Q: Bob, now that you are employed again, have you been given a recent version of the Neopian employee RIGHTS FOR ETHICAL TREATMENT? How is the court case going for hundreds of charges of unprovoked assault?

A: You know what? I was just doing my job. Those assaults are all alleged assaults anyway. I never assaulted anyone. My job description said I was to thwop those on the head who needed motivation to keep going. All those people chose to do the plot; no one forced them. They all knew it was one of those at your own risk type of things. Anything you want to ask beyond that, you will have to talk to lawyerbot.

Q: Do you do all your own stunts?

A: Every single one of them. My motto is if you want a job done right then do it yourself.

Q: Can you get us one of the temple T-shirts?

A: I was all set to hand out those t-shirts but they closed down the Scroll Repository before I could. That is what I had in all the boxes in the kitchen. The coordinators took them all back and kept them for themselves, but I think the people deserved them.

Q: Is there going to be more Bob merchandise? Do you get royalties? How many neopoints do you make? Is this all a ploy to make neopoints?

A: I do get a small amount from royalties for the Bob merchandise. At the moment I don’t know of any other items that are scheduled for release. You never know though. It just depends on how the plot goes I guess.

Q Are you upgrading cudgels for this new plot, now that you are more famous and all, wood is kind of common…

A: I have been asked that a lot. I really think that cudgels are best when made of wood. There is nothing that beats wood for a nice, smooth thwopping surface. It has just the right balance that takes a real craftsman to achieve. I am talking to some of the weapon makers in Altador to see if we can get a new line of cudgels made from some of the wood from the forests there. I have heard it is really superb.

Q: Thank you so much for talking to us today, Bob. Is there anything that you would like to say to all the Neopians out there that might still hold you responsible for their plot troubles?

A: You know what I really think is that people need to quit blaming me for their troubles. You know that Razul guy was horrible in the Battledome, but no one yells at him for damaging their pets. Those darned Rukis took forever to carve that furniture, but no one walks by flinging rocks at their houses. I just did my job like anyone else would have if they had the guts to do the job. Don’t blame me for you being slow and not being able to figure stuff out. Quit mailing me Lupe chewed plushies of myself and broken cudgels. I don’t scare easily and I will remember you this next plot, so watch yourselves.

And there you have it folks; if you are one of the Neopians planning on joining the campaign to fire Bob, beware… Next week on Plotting Along, How can Jubjubs mine without arms?