Battle Quills... ready! Circulation: 117,885,008 Issue: 236 | 21st day of Eating, Y8
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The Meepit War: Part Two

by twenty161


The living room of Jenn's neohome had been transformed into a court. Tables and chairs had been dragged in, furniture reorganized, and places assigned. Jenn sat at the end of the table, with Kinii at her right hand, Maritoma at her left. A yellow envelope sat in front of her, and a wooden gavel was in her right hand. "Alright. We must now decide what to do about these Meepits. Any suggestions or ideas will be appreciated."

      Myyki spoke up. "We should first find out what our enemy wants. Since they're too strong for us to actually beat, at least without reinforcements, we need to have a plan of action."

      "I agree. Any more ideas, like on how to find out what they want?" Jenn put her elbows on the table, resting her head on her hands. "The only ways I can think of are to arrange a meeting or capture one of them and interrogate it. But how do we do that? We don't know if they can understand us, and we definitely can't understand them."

     Kinii gulped, looking at the table. "Uh, well, we could, I mean............." He trailed off.

      "Ok, well, I think we need to have some way of defending ourselves as well." Myyki spoke.

      "Yeah, that's right." Kinii looked up, relieved. "Jenn, can I be in charge of defense operations? At least the fighting part?"

      "Yes, Kinii. Have Maritoma help you find a good plan for our defense, okay?" Maritoma and Kinii nodded.

      "Ok, Xurokai and Myyki will help you."

      "But that's not enough! We won't be able to hold them back."

      "I'm getting to that, Kinii. Now, Kaedakaeda, if you are feeling well enough to help us, I would like you to find out anything you can about Meepits."

      Kaedakaeda nodded, the sparkle back in his eyes, right next to a burning fire. "I'll get right to it, Mom."

      "Not yet, Kaeda. Wait 'til the end of the meeting." She smiled at him. "Aaeeli, Brightmoon, and Alohaalo, I want you to make sure everyone has weapons and food, and to keep a watch on the Meepits from the windows. Now, Kinii, I sent a Neomail to your Aunt Laura."

      She picked up the envelope in front of her, opening it as her Neopets watched her intently. "Let's see... Dear Jenn, I'm sending over some friends as requested, and I hope you're going to be okay! I would come myself but..." She read on silently, mumbling to herself. "Something about asparagus... already tried the PPL... said they won't remove Meepits from private property..." She looked up. "Everyone, we're having some friends over to 'play.'"

      Kinii squealed. "Jessie? Jessie's coming over?"

      "Yes, Kinii. Not to mention Frokato, Fireclouds, and your brother Silverwaters, too."

      "Yeah, where was he, anyways?" Alohaalo asked.

      "He was sleeping over at your Aunt Laura's. Alright, everyone. I want battle stations! Kinii, you and Maritoma get ready to escort Jessie and the others to the front door. They won't be able to get here themselves." Jenn brought down the gavel with a bang on the table, and the Neopets scattered to their various duties. 


       "Alright, you know the drill, guys. We have to go out and escort Jessie and the others to the house - preferably without losing anyone else." Kinii grimaced, remembering how Prince was taken while saving him. "Everyone has been equipped with snowballs, a rainbow gun, and some other random weapon. Maritoma, you keep a watch out the window, and let us know when they're here, 'kay?"

       "How can I with those Meepits in the way?"

       "I don't know, just try."

       "Aye aye, Cap'n!" Maritoma hurried to the window in the front hall, and maneuvered so that she could see just a bit. She hovered by the window, wings flapping for a minute or two. Then she spotted non-pink movement.

       "They're here!!"


       A moment later Xurokai, Myyki, Maritoma, and Kinii were out the door, clearing a path through the Meepit sentinels, of whom there were a lot.

      Kinii had brought his trusty Kau Mouth Blade, and this time when he swung his head, the Meepits ran in fear. The other pets were doing well too. Maritoma, blue Shoyru wings flapping, was hovering over the crowd unleashing bolts of colored light and dropping snowballs on unsuspecting victims. Myyki, with her bow strung and ready, was sticking snowballs on the points of her arrows. Xurokai's claws ripped and slashed, and Meepits who had been tossed by his teeth had the privilege of meeting Mr. Concrete.

     They made their way toward the mailbox, where a yellow Kyrii and Silverwaters were crouched on top, as Surath the Eyrie and Jessie the Lupe were fiercely pummeling their opponents. As soon as the defenders got close enough, they surrounded them, and headed for the door.

      Fighting their way through the crowd, they saw that it looked an awful lot like the crowd in front of the ticket office when Jazzmosis had come to town. As their paws touched the porch steps, they cleared a space in front of the door. Jessie grabbed the door handle in his big white paws and pushed the door open. The Neopets tumbled inside. Maritoma and Surath shut the door with their blue paws just as Kinii stuffed the last remaining Meepit outside.

      "Dude, not cool," panted the yellow Kyrii.

      "Seriously! Are you okay, Phyxnar?" Kinii punched his friend on the arm.

      "Yeah, I'm cool. How 'bout you guys?"

      "I think we're okay. Hey Kinii, look at this!" He picked up a bag that had fallen from around Surath's neck and showed its contents to Kinii.

      "Hey, my maractite dagger!" He pulled a ornate maractite dagger from the bag.

      "Correction, our maractite dagger. Remember, it's both of ours. Oh, and here are those scrolls I borrowed from you, plus a few other items..." He grinned.

      "Oh good, you're here!" They turned around to find Jenn in the doorway, a large steak knife in her hand. She held it up. "What do you say we end this war!"

      "Alright, everyone ready?" Everyone was equipped with weapons, and grim faces. Kinii looked over his troops, nodding with satisfaction. "Let's go!" He pointed toward the door, and Maritoma, Surath, and Kaedakaeda took flight, carrying Silverwaters between them.

      Silverwaters was carrying a sack of snowballs, and his green Peophin ears twitched excitedly. Kinii marched to the door, pausing to give final instructions to his army.

      "Alright, stick to the plan! I want my Kougras and Brightmoon, and you, Jessie, to go in front. Remember, don't attack until I give the word." Jessie gave him the thumbs up, and pulled out his swords, flexing his powerful muscles.

      "Phyxnar, you and Jenn will act as backup and supply us with extra snowballs and such. But while we're on the march, I want you in the middle." Jenn and Phyxnar nodded.

      "Maritoma, I want your airforce to weave back and forth, high enough to keep out of trouble, but low enough to be a threat. Alright, troops, do you copy!?"

     "YES SIR!"

      Kinii opened the door, and started in surprise. There wasn't a Meepit in sight. He peered around the corner. Still no Meepits. He beckoned for his family to follow, as he crept along beside the wall. The group snuck along the side of the house, and turned the corner, heading toward the garden where Prince was captured. Kinii stopped, drew in a big breath, and plunged around the corner, bawling his war cry.

      The rest followed, weapons in hand. But there was nothing to fight. Again, the Meepits had disappeared. It was hardly a surprise. As they peered through the sea of kelp and plants, they saw a yellow figure gagged and tied to a chair made of asparagus.

      "Prince!" Kinii bounded forward, cutting the ropes with his sword. Prince was struggling to speak, and his eyes bulged. He tore the piece of dirty cloth from his mouth, exclaiming:

      "Get out of here! It's a trap!"

      Kinii whirled around to see a flood of Meepits surrounding the rescuers. The large Meepit wearing a crown strode toward the throne, and pushed Prince off of his personal chair. He sat glaring at Kinii. The checkered Kau gulped, and stared at the ground.

      "Meep a meep a moo!" the King Meepit screamed in his face. Kinii's white spots turned unusually pink, and he yelled right back.

      "Moop a mee eep!"

      His now pink spots turned a shade darker as he realized his family was watching him, mouths wide open, eyes staring.

      "Kinii, you can tell what they say?" Jessie gasped.

      "And you can talk to them?" Phyxnar giggled.

      "Uh, yeah." Kinii turned around to face them.

      "What did he say, Kinii?" Aaeeli put a paw over her mouth to keep from laughing.

      "He said that I was a poor excuse for a Kau, which made me mad, so I said that he was a poor excuse for a petpet."

      "We really need to work on your vocabulary, Kinii." Jenn smiled. "And your manners."

      "Kinii, look out!" Jessie yelled. Kinii turned, ducking, just as the King Meepit swung a rock hard asparagus scepter at his head.

      "MEEP!! Moop ma mee!"

      "He says that we need to get to the point," Kinii said over his shoulder to his family.

      "Ask him what he wants," Jenn said, still holding her knife.

      "Mapa Meep Mee a Moo?"

      "Meep mee AMEEPAMOO!"

      "He says he wants his asparagus!"

      "ASPARAGUS? That's what Laura said! She said that Meepits are very partial to asparagus, and are likely to get ticked off when it is stolen!" Jenn gasped.

      "Meepa ma mee ameepamoo!" Kinii said.

     "AMEEPAMOO!" The King Meepit waved his paw at the crowd of meepits behind him, and they started up a chant. "Ameepamoo! Ameepamoo! Ameepamoo!....." Suddenly, Jenn started wildly sniffing the air.

      "What's wrong with you?" Brightmoon asked.

      "That smells familiar..." She walked toward Kinii, still sniffing. She stopped before an astonished Meepit king and circled his chair.

      "That's it! But where..." Jenn halted, and puckered her brow, thinking. "Aha! No wonder!" She glared at Kinii.

      "Huh? What'd I do, Mom? What's wrong?" Kinii looked baffled.

      "You'll see. Prince!" He trotted over, and she whispered something in his ear. He nodded, and disappeared around the corner. Then she turned to Kinii.

      "Kinii, ask the King Meepit if we give him his asparagus he'll leave."

      "But we don't have it!" said a confused Kinii.

      "Just ask him."

     Kinii turned to the Meepit. "Uh, Meepa meep moo Ameepamoo me moop?"

      "Meep. Ameepamoo!"

      "He says yes."

      "Got it, Mom!!" Prince came dashing back, a paper bag in his mouth. "Yuck!" He spat the bag out at the King Meepit's feet, and it lay there, oozing green slime.

      "Meeee! Ameepamoo?" The little King Meepit carefully picked up the bag, and peered in. "Ameepamoo!" He held up the bag, waving it around. The Meepits crowded around him cheered, throwing up their pink paws and dancing around in joy. One small one shyly walked up to Kinii and hugged him.

      "Ermf... Prince, where did you find that?" Kinii pushed the Meepit away from him, and it clung to his hoof.

      "Right where Mom said it would be... behind the refrigerator." He grinned. Kinii gulped, blushing yet again.

      "Kinii, I know you don't like asparagus, but - "

      "Meep! Ameepamoo ma mee a moop!" The King Meepit waved his paw, and the Meepits around him picked up his chair, so that he stood at eye level with Kinii.

      "Meepa moo." He bowed slightly to Kinii, and raised his scepter. The crowd surged away, carrying the king with it. Kinii held up the small Meepit, who was still attached to his hoof, and gave it a swift kick with one of his hind legs, sending it flying. It landed in the king's lap, where it got a severe spanking. Prince chuckled, and Kinii stared after it with extreme rage.

      "If you don't mind me asking, Kinii, what did he say?" Jessie walked up to him.

      "He said 'Thank you and you are a nice Kau.' And...'We'll come back to visit sometime.'" Everyone groaned.

      "Well, Kinii," said Jenn. "Have we learned a good lesson today?"

      "Uh, sure. Asparagus doesn't taste good - and we have to all ways stand up to those who challenge our rights - even if they happen to be Meepits."


The End

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