Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 150,952,996 Issue: 232 | 24th day of Running, Y8
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What Not to Do With a Paper Pet

by satoshiketchum1890


You go home, give your darling little Neopet a rare paper pet of his/her own and next thing you know, it's torn up or somehow "magically" got blown away so your Neopet won't be grounded for a month. Well, that's what you get for having destructive little critters who just happen to live in your home. Kinda scary to think about, isn't it? You could go out tomorrow and probably buy the most expensive lamp there is and come home to find it broken, eaten (darn Skeiths!!!) or most likely, torn apart and I don't mean torn as in broken. I mean torn as in DESTROYED!!!!

Hearing this little piece of information, you quietly think to yourself, So now what I'm I going to do with this Weeble? Well, it's obvious. Give it to your best mannered Neopet and if you only have one, then you'd better get a real good refund on it. Because those things sure aren't cheap!

When I was first new to Neopets, I opened up my newbie pack and surprisingly found a tiny, pink, paper Weeble and to tell you the truth-I had no idea what it was. Sure, it paper but, how could be a petpet? I thought it was some type of badly drawn toy for your petpet but I was surprised to learn that it was a petpet. When I dropped down my drop list, I gave it to my second neopet named Shane348350.

I thought that he'd take good care of it, but I was wrong. Sure, he took good care of it but he drew on him, he dropped water on him (I have no idea how many times!) and he kept on annoying me with paper airplanes! A week later, I got so angry that I finally laid down some laws and I hope that you, the owner of the unruly Neopet, do the same thing too!

1. Don't throw them away on accident.

Sure, hard not to do. I mean, look at it, it's paper. So how can you not throw the darn thing away thinking that it's homework or some creative piece of artwork that your Neopet did for art class? Well, the first step is to probably put his/her name on it. Shane named his Orei because well, he just likes the name but anyway, that way it will let you and your Neopet know that it's not junk.

2. Don't get it wet.

I think that this might be one of the most important rules on here, along with knowing how well you think you know your Neopet's well being (read on for that rule). Now, I don't know about you, but I sure don't want Shane to have a wet piece of paper for a pet. I love Orei, and if you love your Neopet's petpet, then you'll listen up and try your very best to keep him/her away from the little Neopet across the street, if you know what I mean.

3. Make sure your Neopet is safe enough first!

You made it from scratch, you brought it home and did your very best just to make sure that it gets the learning it needs. You think that you know your pet, but do you really know your pet that well enough to let it keep a pet of its own? A pet that is made of a very, very, very thin and breakable structure called paper? Neopets are all different and if you don't teach your Neopet to behave and be careful, then you've wasted all of your neopoints on something that didn't last very long at all.

4. Pick a nice one!

Grrrrrrrrr! OK, I know that papier mache petpets probably can't say anything or do anything for that manner, I just want to let you know that petpets are different and like your Neopet, they can probably snap at you if they could. But what's the chance of that ever happening? *shifty eyes*

5. Don't doodle!

Okay, okay, I know that I talked about drawing on your little paper buddy there up on the first rule of rules, but sometimes your Neopet's petpet will like it when you doodle. But, they can be different so they may not. If your Neopet's bored and can't think of anything to do, just move on and skip to something else besides drawing on petpet paper! Remember, only do this if you have to, like in rule one.

6. Feed 'em.

Don't just feed 'em, water them too! Remember, they can still eat and breathe just like you and me. So make sure you tell your Neopet to feed and water the little guy or its paper might, blue.

7. Careful!

When watering your petpet, just be sure to be careful when it's drinking. If it or you spills something on its body, don't wipe it off or it'll rip. Ouch!

8. They can feel pain.

I'm not trying to sound gothic here, but let's face it. They may feel pain, as in "Owww Jimmy! You knocked me in the nose with the tennis ball!" They can also feel pain as in pain coming from the heart. Also known as guilt. So remember when blaming your petpet for something it didn't do.

9. Ohhhhh, lala!

Make sure you sing or at least talk to your petpet. I'm sure that they'll enjoy the music as much as you will. Talking doesn't make them feel lonely either. I hate to admit it, but if you couldn't move your arms or your legs, you'd at least want to be talked too! Right!

10. Love 'em.

Awwwww. The most important of all! This isn't really a rule, just something that you'll probably do, though. Paper petpets are just as great as any other pet. They may not talk back to you or swim. They also may not act as quite dumb as a Spardel, but they will love you if you love them first.

I hope I showed you how neat and careful you should be when handling your petpet. Follow these rules and I'm sure you won't forget them! See ya!

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