Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 81,826,882 Issue: 155 | 27th day of Hiding, Y6
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Mumbo Jumbo Cooking Pot Recipes


by stoneman3x

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Also by meggiemufin

COOKING POT - It's funny how things pop into your head when you least expect it. Recently I sent a Neomail to my sister, Meggiemufin, and I typed in the words "Paint Devil" instead of "Pant Devil". My brain immediately said, "Whoa! I wonder what a Paint Devil would be like if there actually was one." I know the craniums of most people would say, "Typo. Backspace." But you should know by now that my scrambled mind does not function in the same sane ordinary way that everyone else's does.

Anyway, this simple typographical error got me to thinking about the Cooking Pot on Mystery Island. Don't ask me how my brain made the leap from "Paint Devil" to "Cooking Pot", just accept that it did. And this is what happened next:

Cooking Pot ingredients: Jacko the Phantom Painter and the Pant Devil
Result: Paint Devil
What You Get: A random event that gives you a cool new paint brush that nobody else has. Unfortunately, you can't put this paint brush in your safety deposit box, shop, trading post or auction because it can't be moved out of your item box until the Shadow Usul steals it.

So naturally, I started thinking about other weird combinations of things could be tossed into the Mystery Island Cooking Pot. Since insanity runs in my family, my sister Meggiemufin started thinking of some stuff too. Here is what our combined bizarre brains cranked out:

Cooking Pot ingredients: Mumbo Pango, Jumbo Pea Sandwich and Krawk Pot Recipes Result: Mumbo Jumbo Cooking Pot Recipes
What You Get: The title of this article, in case you weren't paying attention.

Cooking Pot ingredients: NeoQuest II and the Neolodge
Result: NeoGuest II
What You Get: Double occupancy at the AstroVilla-- two pets for the price of one. The only drawback is that they both come out hungry, grumpy and tired.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Goo Blaster and Count von Roo
Result: Roo Blaster
What You Get: A handy weapon to bring along with you when you lose a pet level at Deadly Dice.

Cooking Pot ingredients: A Ruki and a Magical Hair Usuki
Result: Uruki
What You Get: A poofy-purple-haired Usul with six legs.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Improved Lightning Beam and Grackle Bug
Result: Improved Lightning Bug
What You Get: A petpet that lights up in the dark without having to use a Glowing Petpet Paint Brush on him first.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Ha Ha Grub and Edna
Result: Ha Ha Grubwitch
What You Get: A sandwich that laughs while it sends you on spooky quests.

Cooking Pot ingredients: MechaBerry Bomb and Illusens Comb
Result: MechaBerry Comb
What You Get: A hair care product that explodes the moment it touches your head.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Tigersquash and Squished Tomato
Result: Tigersquish
What You Get: A very flat Gruslen.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Bottled Water Faerie and a Soap Bottle
Result: Bottled Soap Faerie
What You Get: A faerie that blesses your Neopet with the ability to mop the floor with his Battledome opponents.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Sewage Surfer and Spell-Or-Starve
Result: Sewage-Or-Starve
What You Get: Can you say "Dung Jelly"?

Cooking Pot ingredients: Grilled Cheese Sandwich and Real Cheese Cheesecake
Result: Grilled Cheesecake
What You Get: A great dessert that slides down your throat... and down your shirt... and onto the floor...

Cooking Pot ingredients: Lost Desert and Ice Cream Factory
Result: Lost Dessert
What You Get: A tasty game that you can't get out of even if you manage to find it in the first place. A sort of gooey version of Hannah and the Pirate Caves.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Sponge Grundo and a Sponge Grundo Sponge
Result: Sponge Sponge Grundo Sponge Grundo Grundo Sponge
What You Get: A cool item that you can't type into the Shop Wizard.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Blue Wheelbarrow and the Wheel of Excitement
Result: The Wheelbarrow of Excitement
What You Get: Whoo hoo! Gardening is such fun! Oooo! Is that a Money Tree Weed growing there?

Cooking Pot ingredients: Tiki Tack Tombola and Sutek's Tomb
Result: Sutek's Tombola
What You Get: You get a free bottle of sand, but the sand in it always runs out before you can grab it.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Kasuki Lu and Lu Codestone
Result: Kasuki Lu Codestone
What You Get: A battledome challenger that everyone keeps finding on the floor.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Dr. Sloth and Lil Frankie
Result: Lil Dr. Frankie Sloth
What You Get: A cwute widdle spooky petpet that enslaves any Neopet that it is equipped to.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Peach Chia and an Infested Peach
Result: Infested Peach Chia
What You Get: A Chia that has its very own petpet... growing out of its head.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Borovan and Jhudora
Result: Jhudorovan
What You Get: A hot drink that hates Earth Faeries.

Cooking Pot ingredients: A Gelert and Super Strong Hair Gel
Result: Super Strong Hair Gelert
What You Get: A Defender of Neopia that battles evil Grooming Parlour restockers.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Ice Devil and Nice Iced Pizza
Result: Nice Devil
What You Get: He steals your stuff, but then he feels so guilty about it that he apologizes and gives you your stuff back.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Two Dubloon Coin and Striped Balloons
Result: Balloon Dubloon
What You Get: You'll never find THIS dubloon on the floor...

Cooking Pot ingredients: Snacking Bread and a Battle Duck
Result: Quacking Bread
What You Get: The main reason Neopets actually refuse some foods.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Tree Weed and Feed Florg
Result: Weed Florg
What You Get: Why do all my garden gnomes keep disappearing?

Cooking Pot ingredients: The Lab Ray and Korbat's Lab
Result: Korbat's Lab Ray
What You Get: A really cheap alternative to the regular Lab Ray with one teeny tiny drawback... it turns pets into little yellow balls.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Usuki and Better Than You
Result: Better Than Usuki
What You Get: Just about anything on Neopets.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Downsize! and Supersize!
Result: Supersized Downsize!
What You Get: A regular size. What did you expect?

Cooking Pot ingredients: Noil and a Fake Nail
Result: Fake Noil
What You Get: Comes with a certificate of inauthenticity!

Cooking Pot ingredients: Whack-A-Staff Member and a Wocky
Result: Wacky
What You Get: A standard Neopedia article.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Wooden Bed and Haunted Woods
Result: Haunted Wood Bed
What You Get: There aren't monsters UNDER your bed-- they are IN your bed.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Noxious Nectar and Hubrid Nox Plushie
Result: Hubrid Noxious Plushie
What You Get: What happens when you feed a Flaming Hot Burrito to a toy.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Swarm and a Heart Shaped Charm
Result: Heart Shaped Swarm
What You Get: Send an infestation to someone you love!

Cooking Pot ingredients: Rude Daffodil and Regulation Chainmail
Result: Rude Chain Mail
What You Get: You get a Neomail warning, folks. Don't try it.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Tuskaninny and Whinny
Result: Tuskawhinny
What You Get: A huge, bloated petpet that eats the Turmaculus.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Healthy Grass Hot Dog and Whack-A-Kass
Result: Whack-A-Grass
What You Get: A Tyrannian lawnmower.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Green Bead Bracelet and Stale Bread
Result: Green Bread Bracelet
What You Get: It's a fashion statement! It's a yummy snack! It's a stomachache waiting to happen.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Salt Mote and Secret Laboratory Map
Result: Spice Map
What You Get: Unlock the secret door to the Grundo's Cafe condiment cabinet!

Cooking Pot ingredients: Soup Faerie and Scary Soup
Result: Scary Soup Faerie
What You Get: Just try taking your famished Neopets to the Soup Kitchen with 2,001 Neopoints and you'll see what happens.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Pink Buzzer Flying Disc and a Pink Disco Ball
Result: Pink Flying Disco Ball
What You Get: *shrugs* Looks like a normal party at my house to me.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Rampaging Grundonoil Plushie and an Escaped Pixel
Result: Rampaging Grundonoil Plushie
What You Get: You're kidding right? You couldn't possibly get anything out of the Cooking Pot weirder than this thing already is.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Woo Woo Grub and a White Weewoo
Result: Woo Woo Weewoo
What You Get: Nothing. I just like saying it.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Banana Achyfi and a Red Bandana
Result: Bandana Achyfi
What You Get: It not only tastes terrible, but you choke on it too.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Neopian Times Issue 3 and Neopkins
Result: Neopian Times Tissue 3
What You Get: Meuka's dream come true-- a snot news rag.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Krelufun Industries and an Elephante
Result: Kreluphante
What You Get: A Neopet that never feels the effects of zero gravity.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Neggitus Injection and Candy Cane Negg
Result: Candy Cane Neggitus
What You Get: Serves you right for feeding your pet an Advent Calendar food in August.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Mallowicious Bar and a Mallard
Result: Mallardicious Bar
What You Get: A tasty treat that goes great with Bluna Burgers and Snorkle Pudding.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Ice Shard and Happy Birthday Negg
Result: Happy Birthday Shard
What You Get: A birthday greeting for people you secretly detest.

Cooking Pot ingredients: A Bow Tie and an Oboe
Result: Oboe Tie
What You Get: It looks great, but the real trick is getting it around your neck.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Maths Blocks and Neopian Writers Neoboard
Result: Writers Blocks
What You Get: I wonder why this popped into our heads...

Cooking Pot ingredients: Garooda and Commander Garoo
Result: Commander Garooda
What You Get: A military leader that would take over Neopia in his spaceship, but his feet don't reach the pedals.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Sticky Stack and a Sausage Stocking
Result: Sticky Stocking
What You Get: This is why Neopia needs washing machines.

Cooking Pot ingredients: Meggiemufin and Stoneman3x
Result: Mega Stone Muffin
What You Get: A totally pointless article.

And this brings us to the end of this totally pointless article. This also brings us to this annoying but important little disclaimer thingy:

Annoying But Important Little Disclaimer Thingy: Any resemblance to actual Neopian items, either living or dead, is purely occidental. Errr... I mean cointentional... errr... coincidental.

 
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