Where Has Sloth Gone?
The past Sloth Day made me wonder: “Where has Sloth gone?” Sure, he appears in
many games, Caption contests, board topics, items; you name it, there’s probably
a Slothy version. However, Sloth himself has not shown his slimy face in Neopia
for over 5 YEARS! Which makes me wonder, “What is he doing?”
(For those who are unacquainted with Sloth and his last appearance in Neopia,
there are several Neopedia articles on the subject; see ‘space faerie’ and ‘Dr.
Frank Sloth’ as well as bits of the plot in older issues of the news – try dates
from Year 2. But basically Sloth enslaved the Grundos of Neopia and mutated
them into those giant green monsters. He was planning to fire the ray gun he
used to mutate the Grundos at Neopia, turning every pet into a mutant! He even
held the space faerie prisoner, but she was able to gain strength from people
adopting enslaved Grundos. She then fired Sloth’s own ray gun at his ship and
destroyed it and Sloth hasn’t been seen since.)
Which brings me to what I believe Sloth is doing this very moment: planning
for what he wants to do most, enslave Neopia and cause misery for all neopets.
There have been several suspicious happenings that have his evil stench around
them and possibly hint at an invasion in the future. Well, I am certainly not
brave enough to try and find Sloth’s lair and ask him myself, so I can only
guess what he is currently doing through clues and common sense.
The Kreludan Mining Corp (if you squint real hard, that building looks kinda
like his Sloth’s head). What better place to raise neopoints for an invasion
than digging valuable minerals out of the Kreludor soil? Invasions don’t pay
for themselves, you know. Not only that, but Kreludor is home to a colony of
orange Grundos, Sloth’s favorite kind of slave. He can enslave the Grundos of
Kreludor and make neopoints at the same time (he’s not called an evil genius
The newly-released game: The RETURN of Dr. Sloth. How obvious can you get?
It says ‘return’ right in the game title. Foreshadowing? Anyway, I think TNT
is dropping a few hints here, possibly trying to warn us ignorant Neopians of
the looming Sloth threat (they can’t come right out and say it, since he has
them all under watch O_o). Plus it reinforces my Kreludor theory, since the
landscape of the game of the game looks an awful lot like the surface of Kreludor.
The TCG deck, also called Return of Dr. Sloth. Yes, some may say this is based
off of the last Sloth plot, but I think TNT is trying yet again to warn us.
Some of the characters in the deck certainly weren’t in the last plot.
The lever of DOOM. Who else would bother putting a diabolical hand in the
space station (which was built by Sloth anyway) that steals people’s neopoints?
Again, I think it’s another device, meant to get neopoints for Sloth’s invasion.
Not to mention it makes thousands of users very frustrated every day, something
I’m sure Sloth delights in causing.
I don’t know if the link exists anymore, but older Neopians surely remember
NPv2 (neopet version 2), a mysterious computer program that was meant to entertain
neopets, but ended up trapping four children in an elevator and forcing them
to play dangerous games. Luckily the children were saved, but the last animation
of the plot showed a dark mysterious form saying “so you managed to escape my
NPv2, but next time you won’t be so lucky!” It was quite obvious that that scary
figure was Sloth, which makes me believe that even now he has been plotting
to terrorize the poor pets of the space station (his latest attempt obviously
being the Lever of DOOM).
The Freaky Factory. Just check the Neopedia article and you’ll immediately
see what I mean. It’s run by Sloth, and those adorable plushies created by the
factory are obviously more than they seem. My advice, watch those Kreludan-made
toys veeeeeerrry carefully, you never know when they might turn on you.
A certain random event I’m sure we’re all familiar with: “Something has happened!
Sloth orders his men to take xxxx NP from you to support his invasion tax.”
It pretty much speaks for itself. Sloth is out there steali- uhh kindly collecting
neopoints to fund his invasion. I'd be worried if I were you.
The Happiness Faerie. This faerie appeared in the Gallery of Heroes for a
couple months and had cardboard wings and wore a mask. While it was never proven,
she did bear an uncanny resemblance to Sloth, and she wasn’t much of a faerie
really (I mean cardboard wings- honestly!), I can’t really offer an explanation
to why Sloth would want to dress up as a faerie dedicated to happiness. Maybe
he was hoping to gain Fyora’s trust (which probably failed since the Happiness
Faerie disappeared from the Gallery of Heroes after a couple of months). Or
maybe he wanted to get information from other heroes, and then abandoned the
act once he got what he wanted.
Caption Contest 665. It shows Sloth and some of his followers, looking at
a map of Neopia and looking very happy about something. While people came up
with cute and funny ideas about what they were saying (it is the Caption Contest
after all), we can’t ignore the facts: when Sloth is happy, Neopians tend to
not be so happy. This picture seems to be a rather ominous look at what I already
believe to be true; Sloth is planning an invasion.
So those are all of the obvious happenings out there that hint at a Sloth
invasion in the future. Of course there may be some strange coincidences out
there that are going unnoticed; Sloth haters disappearing, frightened looking
Grundos running through the streets on “errands” for their “owner” and many
more instances. Hopefully this article has informed you about the very real
Sloth threat looming over Neopia, and will help you be prepared for the invasion
that will undoubtedly happen someday.